(Records are through Saturday)

(10) NFL coaches: Not all them, just the ones who store the red "challenge" flag in one of their socks, namely Bill Belichick of the Patriots and Tom Coughlin of the Giants. My girlfriend gives me "the stare" if I throw my socks on the rug - and it's my house. I shudder to think what would happen if I threw something from inside my sock onto the carpet at her place. C'mon guys, that's what pockets are for.

(9) Memphis Grizzlies (10-26): The Grizzlies have dropped nine of 11 but will be getting well next weekend against Seattle and Charlotte, so now is the appropriate time to recognize their recent underachievement. Friday's 116-104 loss at Golden State came in the form of allowing Monta Ellis to make his first 11 shots and letting Baron Davis post 20 points and 19 assists. It added up to wasting Paul Gasol's 17-for-25 shooting and 43 points.

(8) Atlanta Hawks scorers table crew: Let's set aside the fact that they cost the team $50,000 and will force a replay of the final 51.9 seconds of the 117-111 win over the Miami Heat on Dec. 19 because they mistakenly fouled Shaquille O'Neal out of the game. Rather, let's dwell on the obvious: Even taking into account the fact he was 8-for-12 that night, Shaq has missed more than 5,000 free throws in his career and the ferocity of his defense when he's on the floor with five fouls often makes Up With People look like The Manson Family. You want him on the floor under those circumstances so you can shoot 12-footers and resort to Hack-a-Shaq if necessary. Real basketball minds know you should give the phantom fouls to D. Wade.

(7) Loyola Marymount men's basketball (3-14): The Lions play defense about as well as O.J. Simpson tracks down cold-blooded killers, surrendering 74 or more points in 13 of their last 14 games and posting an 0-6 record at home this season. They're 332nd out of 341 Division I teams in field-goal defense, allowing opponents to shoot 49.1 percent.

(6) Brown University: You know that NCAA promotional spot that says most college athletes go pro in something other than sports? That apparently qualifies as the "Duh" statement of the year at Brown, the athletic equivalent of poison Ivy. The school's hockey teams are a combined 3-22-7, the squash teams are 0-6 and women's basketball is off to a 1-13 start. Thank goodness for men's basketball (8-6) and the fencing squads (a combined 15-4) or else the overall winning percentage would be closer to zero than the decibel reading from Ashlee Simpson's mic on Saturday Night Live.

(5) Rochester Americans: Nothing says "minor-league" quite like Rochester, N.Y., which has no major-league teams in real sports (I love lacrosse as much as anyone, but there are only 114 people west of the Mississippi who think it's something other than a city in Wisconsin) and no Division I football or basketball. And now its American Hockey League team has gone deep into the tank with 16 losses in 18 games. The Buffalo Sabres are ending their affiliation after 29 years, and the Amerks ownership's bank account is more tapped than the phones in the Ravenite Social Club a month before John Gotti was arrested.

(4) The Golf Channel Forget the recent controversy over dish head Kelly Tilghman's dumb-tush remark (Yeah, I know using "dish head" and "dumb-tush" in the same sentence is redundant) about Tiger Woods and focus instead on just how awful their "coverage" of golf can be. Don't rely on me for this; go back and read Phil Mushnick's column in the New York Post last year. Gotta say, though, Tilghman probably blew her chance of landing the keynote speaker gig at the next NAACP convention.

(3) Bowling Green football (8-5): Until recently I couldn't fathom many things worse than a weekend in Mobile, Ala. It turns out, however there is something worse: watching the Falcons get clobbered by Tulsa, 63-7, in the GMAC Bowl in Mobile. I'd root for my daughter to be selected Miss Congeniality at a Teamsters convention before I'd ever watch the not-so-mean Green Machine fumble the ball away in its own territory three times in the first quarter again.

(2) Buffalo Sabres: Western New York's finest are winless in nine games since Christmas, including five overtime losses. But you know what the Sabres' real crime is? They're dreadfully boring to watch with Chris Drury and Daniel Briere having fled via free agency over the summer. They've scored a pathetic 15 goals during the slump. Sabres fans actually root for the team's games to be carried by the Versus Network so they can tell their friends the next day, "Uh, no, I didn't watch 'em. I didn't know they were on TV."

(1) St. Louis men's basketball: Twenty points? Twenty stinkin' points? Against a sub-.500 George Washington team that was without its starting point guard and coming off a 36-point loss to Alabama? You've got to be kidding me. The Billikens had almost as many consecutive misses as the introductions at one of those national beauty pageants ("Miss New Jersey . . . Miss New Mexico . . . Miss New York . . . Miss North Dakota . . ."). Wait for two more bad losses and then start the pool on how long it takes first-year coach Rick Majerus to request his fourth leave of absence in 15 years.

What a great week this was in history for memorable games across the spectrum of professional sports.

Chief among them was "The Catch," as Dwight Clark did almost as much for Joe Montana's career - up to that point - as Tina Turner did for Ike's, making a leaping catch in the back of the end zone with 58 seconds left in the NFC Championship Game at Candlestick Park. It gave the 49ers a 28-27 victory over the Cowboys on Jan. 10, 1982.

A decade and a day earlier, the Milwaukee Bucks beat the Lakers, 120-104, to bring an end to Los Angeles' 33-game winning streak in the NBA. It was the longest winning streak in major-league sports history.

And the, of course, there was the little matter of Super Bowl III on Jan. 12, 1969, as Joe Willie Namath and the New York Jets of the upstart AFL beat the Baltimore Colts, 16-7.

On Jan. 15, 1967, the Green Bay Packers dominated the Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10, in the first of the NFL-AFL games that would come to be known as the Super Bowl. CBS and NBC both televised the game, which wasn't a sellout.

The rest of the rundown for Jan. 9-15: 

Jan. 9, 1972: The two millionth point in NBA history is recorded. Early speculation says Dominique Wilkins (pictured, right) scored 999,994 of those points and gave up 1,000,006 of them, but it's since been determined he was only 11 years old at the time of the historic basket.

Jan. 9, 1991: Pete Rose is officially banned from inclusion on the ballot for baseball Hall of Fame voting.

Jan. 9, 1996: The Toronto Raptors play an entire game without making a free throw, going 0-for-3 from the line in a one-point home loss to the Charlotte Hornets. How a home team in the NBA can go 48 minutes with only three free throws is a mystery up there with why we park on driveways and drive on parkways.

Jan. 9, 2003: Respected newspaper and TV reporter Will McDonough dies.

Jan. 10, 1980: New LSU football coach Bo Rein, 34, dies following a recruiting visit in Shreveport, La. The plane carrying Rein and his pilot goes hundreds of miles off course before running out of fuel and plunging into the Atlantic Ocean.

Jan. 10, 1990: The NCAA launches its random drug testing for football players.

Jan. 11, 1973: American League owners approve the use of the designated hitter.

Jan. 11, 1947: Ten weeks into the season, the NBA outlaws zone defenses because the strategy is slowing down the game. For the next five-plus decades, absolutely no one can recite the actual rule correctly.

Jan. 11, 1984: The Denver Nuggets beat the San Antonio Spurs, 163-155, in the highest-scoring non-OT NBA game until Golden State vs. Denver in 1990 topped it by a bucket.

Jan. 12, 1921: Kennesaw Mountain Landis is selected the first commissioner of baseball.

Jan. 12, 1999: Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball is sold at auction for $3 million.

Jan. 12, 2001: Affirmed, the last winner of thoroughbred racing's Triple Crown (1978), dies. 

 Jan. 13, 1978: Joe McCarthy, who managed nine pennant winners and seven World Series champions, dies.

Jan. 13, 1999: Michael Jordan retires from the NBA for the second time.

Jan. 13, 2001: The Atlanta Hawks retire Dominique Hawkins' number.

Jan. 14, 1954: New York Yankees outfielder Joe DiMaggio marries actress Marilyn Monroe.

Jan. 14, 1973: The Miami Dolphins complete a 17-0 season by winning Super Bowl VII over the Washington Redskins, 14-7. We tried uncovering more details, but we've been unable to find any information about undefeated football teams on the Internet.

Jan. 14, 1989: Bobby Knight wins his 500th college basketball game.

Jan. 15, 1892: Dr. James Naismith publishes the 13 rules of basketball. Rule No. 14 - "There shall be no hurling of furniture across the court" - would be added nearly a century later.

Jan. 15, 1965: The San Francisco Warriors, mired in a long losing streak, trade Wilt Chamberlain to the Philadelphia 76ers for Connie Dierking, Lee Shaffer, Paul Neumann and cash. So how'd that work out, Warriors fans?

And some birthdays from Jan 9-15:

Jan. 9, 1934: The Green Bay Packers' Bart Starr, winning QB in the first Super Bowl.

Jan. 9, 1935: Sportscaster Dick Enberg.

Jan. 9, 1965: Smurfish pro basketball player Muggsy Bogues.

Jan. 9, 1980: Spain's Sergio Garcia, arguably on the clock as the greatest golfer to never win a major, despite top 10s in six of the last seven British Opens.

Jan. 10, 1938: Frank Mahovlich, who scored 533 goals and won six Stanley Cups in 22 NHL seasons.

Jan. 10, 1939: Bill Toomey, decathlete champion at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. 

Jan. 10, 1949: Boxer George Foreman.

Jan. 10, 1961: Janet Jones (pictured, right) , a.k.a. Mrs. Wayne Gretzky.

Jan. 10, 1973: Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson, the NBA's No. 1 pick in 1994.

Jan. 11, 1952: Ben Crenshaw, winner of The Masters in 1984 and '95.

Jan. 12, 1930: Tim Horton, NHL Hall of Famer and doughnut shop founder who died in 1974.

Jan. 12, 1944: Boxer Smokin' Joe Frazier.

Jan. 12, 1960: Dominique WIlkins.

Jan. 13, 1957: Mark O'Meara, winner of The Masters and British Open in 1998.

Jan. 13, 1966: Heavyweight boxer and occasional guest of various correctional facilities Mike Tyson.

Jan. 15, 1975: French tennis player Mary Pierce.

Jan. 15, 1979: Quarterback Drew Brees.

Jan. 15, 1980: Colorado Rockies outfielder Matt Holliday, who had a .340-36-137 season in 2007. 

(Records are through Saturday's games)

(10) Ball State football (7-6): The Cardinals were playing the fifth-best team in the Big East, which is like being the 74th-best ice hockey player in Bermuda, and had exactly two real Rutgers weapons to worry about in the International Bowl: QB Mike Teel (2,844 yards and 17 TDs) and running back Ray Rice (1,732 yards and 20 TDs). Well, Teel threw for 303 yards and Rice ran for 280, and they accounted for seven TDs in Toronto. I've seen better coverage and harder contact at the Canadian ballet.

(9) Winston-Salem State women's basketball (0-10): Let's face it, when you're on the wrong end of a 58-39 final to Colgate (1-14), your prospects of winning against Virginia Tech, Auburn or Wake Forest (all 12-3 and victorious against the Lady Rams) are about the same as the odds of actually finding panties in Britney Spears' lingerie drawer.

(8) Temple Baptist College women's basketball (0-3): Showed up at Wayne State last weekend an hour late and with only five players and lost by a mere 132-13 count after falling behind 38-0. The tiny Cincinnati school also has a 108-22 loss to Eastern Michigan in its portfolio and is reportedly rated No. 40 in the 43-school U.S. Collegiate Athletic Association. Isn't that like  being ranked ninth in the Iowa caucuses?

(7) Brad Richards:  I'll give the Tampa Bay centerman props for durability - he's missed two games in seven seasons - but he's 24 points in the red in plus/minus ratings this season during the Lightning's 15-22-5 start. The only entities with bigger minuses next to their names are Alaskan villages on the North Pole Today weather page and Tiger Woods on the leaderboard at Putt-Putt Golf.

(6) New York Knicks (8-24): Shouldn't owner Chuck Dolan be worried that Georgetown, Villanova and Marquette are going to show up for the Big East tournament at the Garden with more wins than the Knicks? New York may finish farther behind the Celtics than Twice a Prince did to Secretariat at the Belmont.

(5) ESPN: The self-anointed World Wide Leader has been having a rough time of it lately, and it gets worse. HarperCollins is set for a Jan. 22 release of "God Save the Fan" by Deadspin's Will Leitch, who reportedly tells unflattering stories about some of the network's top talent. Meanwhile talking heads Bill Parcells (Miami Dolphins) and Kiki Vandeweghe (New Jersey Nets) have walked out in mid-season to take front-office jobs (Keyshawn Johnson could be next), Dick Vitale is on the DL following throat surgery and, worst of all, Stephen A. Smith opted to stay at ESPN rather than return to The Philadelphia Inquirer.

(4) New Jersey Institute of Technology (0-16): They have more 25-point losses than the Knicks. Chuck Dolan walks around the Garden cracking Highlanders jokes during NBA games.

(3) Roger Clemens: Mike Wallace hurls more softballs than Eddie Feigner in The King and His Court's Farewell Tour, and the best Clemens comes up with is B-12 and B.S. Now, he has to toe the rubber against a congressional committee that's ready to dig in after the Triple Clown (Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmiero) performance of March 2005. Uh-oh, Raj, I think I just saw Rep. Henry Waxman (D., Calif.) point to the left-field bleachers.

(2) Kansas City Chiefs (4-12): Finished 31st in scoring offense, 31st in offensive yardage, 32nd in rushing offense, 28th in rushing defense and forced only 23 turnovers all season. Instead of producing a 2007 Chiefs highlight video, NFL Films has commissioned Leroy Neiman to do a team portrait on an Etch A Sketch.

(1) Los Angeles Clippers (10-20): The Clips were never as good as a superficial look at their 4-0 start may have led some to believe, and they're just plain bad now that they're down to 10 healthy bodies. They're so sad to watch these days that Don Rickles has taken all the Clippers jokes out of his act because he feels sorry for them. The odds of this bunch winning more games that the North Carolina Tar Heels? I'd rather put my money on Amy Winehouse making it to the age of 65.

They're both pitchers and they've thrown almost the exact same number of innings - 111.1 to zero -- the past two seasons. But who would have thought that they share the same birthday? So get your cards in the mail to Carl Pavano (Jan. 8, 1976) and Hall of Famer Bruce Sutter (Jan. 8, 1953).

A couple of other notable anniversaries in the world of sports for the week of Jan. 2-8:

  Jan. 3, 1962: Construction begins on The Astrodome in Houston. The building would come to be referred to as the "Eighth Wonder of the World." The cost to rent the place was soon determined to be the "Ninth Wonder of the World."

  Jan. 3, 1973: George Steinbrenner buys the New York Yankees from CBS for only slightly more than he paid in baseball's payroll tax for signing Roger Clemens in 2007.

I went back and added New Year's Day to this first installment of "This Week in Sports History" just in case I happen to make it through the end of the year with this feature, it attracts the attention of a publisher and I reverse-publish the info into a best-selling book. Either that or I'm just a little more obsessive-compulsive that I should be.

The rest of the rundown for Jan. 1-8:

  Jan. 1, 1902: Michigan defeats Stanford, 49-0, in Pasadena, Calif., in the first Rose Bowl.

  Jan. 1, 1908: For the first time, the New Year is rung in at Times Square in New York City by dropping the ball. There is no truth to the rumor that Darryl Strawberry was involved.

  Jan. 1, 1935: Bucknell defeats Miami (Fla.) in the inaugural Orange Bowl, 26-0. Passing statistics for Vinny Testaverde were not kept.

  Jan. 1, 1937: The first Cotton Bowl results in a 16-6 victory for Texas Christian against Marquette in Dallas.

  Jan. 2, 2002: Ron Francis of the Carolina Hurricanes scores the 500th of his 549 career NHL goals.

  Jan. 3, 2002: Bill Parcells is introduced as the next coach of the Dallas Cowboys, starting his journey toward a 34-30 record (plus two playoff losses) in four seasons.

  Jan. 3, 1991: Wayne Gretzky of the Los Angeles Kings scores the 700th of his 894 career NHL goals.

  Jan. 3, 1993: Boston Celtics announcer Johnny Most dies.

  Jan. 4, 2003: The Green Bay Packers, previously 11-0 in playoff games at Lambeau Field and 13-0 in the postseason at home, lose to the visiting Atlanta Falcons, 27-7.

  Jan. 4, 1999: Former professional wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura is sworn in as governor of Minnesota. (pictured, right)

  Jan. 4, 1993: Mike Ditka is fired as coach of the Chicago Bears.

  Jan. 5, 1988: Hall of Fame basketball player Pete Maravich dies.

  Jan. 5, 2004: Iconish New York Mets reliever Tug ("You gotta believe") McGraw, father of country music star Tim McGraw and father-in-law of Faith Hill, dies.

  Jan. 6, 1976: Ted Turner buys the Atlanta Braves.

  Jan. 6, 1999: The NBA and its players association agree on a deal that ends a six-month lockout.

  Jan. 6, 1994: Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan is clubbed on the right leg by an attacker, ultimately leading to the downfall of rival skater Tonya Harding.

  Jan. 7, 1927: The Harlem Globetrotters make their debut on the basketball court.

  Jan. 7, 1990: Hall of Fame fullback Bronko Nagurski dies.

  Jan. 8, 1957: Baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson announces his retirement.

  Jan. 8, 1993: Michael Jordan breaks the career 20,000-point mark.

  Jan. 8, 1995: Argentinian boxer Carlos Monzon dies.

A few more birthdays:

  Jan. 1, 1986: Boston Celtics rookie Glen "Big Baby" Davis.

  Jan. 2, 1947: Calvin Hill, former NFL running back and father of basketball player Grant Hill.

  Jan. 2, 1963: David Cone, 194-126 in 16 seasons on the mound and 1994 AL winner of the Cy Young Award.

  Jan. 3, 1986: New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning.

  Jan. 3, 1939: Hockey legend Bobby Hull.

  Jan. 3, 1923: Colorful Kansas City Chiefs coach Hank Stram, who died in 2005.

  Jan. 4, 1930: Hall of Fame* football coach Don Shula, who retired from the Dolphins on this day in 1996.

  Jan. 4, 1935: Boxer Floyd Patterson, who died in 2006.

  Jan. 5, 1932: Former Pittsburgh Steelers coach Chuck Noll.

  Jan. 5, 1968: Hockey player Joe Juneau.

  Jan. 5, 1975: NFL running back Warrick Dunn.

  Jan. 6, 1926: Pitcher Ralph Branca.

  Jan. 6, 1921: Golfer Dr., Cary Middlecoff, winner of one Masters and two U.S. Open championships.

  Jan. 6, 1957: Golfer Nancy Lopez, three-time winner of the LPGA Championship and 45 other Tour events.

  Jan. 6, 1960: Golfer Paul Azinger, winner of the 1993 PGA Championship.

  Jan. 6, 1937: College and pro football coach Lou Holtz.

  Jan. 6, 1960: Former football player and current FOXSports analyst Howie Long.

  Jan. 6, 1970: Beach volleyball star Gabrielle Reece.

  Jan. 6, 1982: Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas.

  Jan. 6, 1926: Cuban boxer Kid Galivan, former world welterweight champion who died in 2003.

  Jan. 6, 1976: Hockey player Richard Zednik.

  Jan. 7, 1945: Baseball player Tony Conigliaro, who died in 1990.

  Jan. 8, 1983: Golfer Natalie Gulbis. (pictured, right)

  Jan. 8, 1971: Baseball player Jason Giambi.

(* - Hey, I could have gone 17-0 with those running backs and that defense . . . and I was only 10 years old at the time.)