Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Larry Bowa: When the Dodgers third-base coach would not stay in the box last week, it was left to umpire Ed Montague to play the role of Bowa Constrictor. Bowa didn't take kindly, and Los Angeles soon witnessed its biggest explosion since John McClane and Hans Gruber went mano-a-mano at Nakatomi Plaza. Bowa is a notorious hothead, and Montague was undoubtedly referencing the coach rather than the incident when he called it "probably one of the dumbest" ejections he's been a part of as an umpire.

(9) Chris Henry: If the now ex-Bengal had worked as hard at becoming a better football player as he did on climbing to the top of the list of the team's miscreants depth chart - no easy accomplishment in a city in which the police department keeps Bengals yearbooks on the shelf next to perps' mug shots - he'd be posing for his bust in Canton by now. Instead, he's suffered the ignominy of being released from jail and the NFL within 24 hours of each other. The latest charges are assault and criminal damaging after a man accused Henry of punching him in the face "Oh, no, Henry" has been arrested five times in 28 months; I think bail bondsmen now call him at 2 a.m. seven days a week to see if their services are needed.

(8) Major League Baseball: Hey guys, how can you tell that your sport is broken? Howza 'bout when an entire team is scheduled to make less money that one player? This isn't a rip job on A-Rod - he'll make the Bottom 10 twice this season (three times if he actually has to bat in the month of October) anyway on his own (dis)merit - but rather the Marlins and MLB. With a payroll of just $21.8 million, the Marlins are scamming the system that allows them to rake in more than that just in network TV money. Do the math and it looks as though ownership is pocketing just about every remaining dollar that comes in through the turnstiles, advertising, local broadcasting rights and the silly brand of socialism known as baseball's revenue-sharing plan.

(7) Barry Zito: The 11-13 record and 4.53 ERA of a year ago were somewhat of a reflection that the San Francisco Giants just weren't as good catching baseball inside the stadium as fans were at retrieving them from McCovey Cove. But this year might be a different matter altogether because Zito is throwing with such poor velocity - he can no longer reach 85 mph - that he's going to get hit harder than the bad guy in a Clint Eastwood movie. If I were in Giants management I'd be horrified by the thought of still owing him $100 million. Zito is why you never give a pitcher a contract with more zeros than can be found on speed dating night sponsored by the economics club at the local junior college.

(6) Larry Brown: He wants another coaching gig, complaining that he's bored. You want to know the only time when Larry Brown is even more bored than he is now? Try 18 months after anyone hires him to coach. The man has had so many college and pro coaching jobs (11 cities in 32 years) that his resume is now available to NBA human resources offices as a two-DVD set.

(5) Moises Alou: It took 4

Give a tip of the hat to Hammerin' Hank Aaron, who passed The Bambino on April 8, 1974, by hitting career home run No. 715 to move to the top of Major League Baseball's all-time list.

Batting in the fourth inning of the Atlanta Braves' home opener at Fulton County Stadium, Aaron drove a 1-0 slider from Al Downing of the Dodgers into left-center field and into the glove of teammate Tom House in the bullpen.

Aaron had tied Babe Ruth four days earlier with a blast off of Jack Billingham of the Reds. The future Hall of Famer finished his distinguished career with 755 homers, which remained the most in Major League Baseball for 33 seasons.

A few other highlights from this week in sports history:

April 2, 1977: The Montreal Canadiens push their home unbeaten streak to 34 games, an NHL record.

April 2, 1982: Billy Martin sends Steve McCatty to the plate carrying a 15-inch toy bat to express his displeasure with not being able to use a designated hitter during a spring-training game.

April 2, 1986: The NCAA adopts the 3-point shot, setting the arc at 19 feet, 9 inches.

April 2, 1990: UNLV overwhelms Duke for the NCAA basketball championship, 103-73, as Anderson Hunt goes 12-for-16 with 29 points and Larry Johnson chips in with 22 points and 11 rebounds.

April 2, 1993: Mark Price of the Cavs finally misses, ending his string of 77 consecutive successful free throws, one short of Calvin Murphy's then-record.

April 2, 1995: Owners and players settle their labor dispute and agree the baseball season will begin April 26.

April 2, 1996: Cecil Fielder steals his first major-league base in career game No. 1,097.

April 3, 1962: Jockey Eddie Arcaro retires after 31 years

. April 3, 1975: American Bobby Fischer is stripped of his world chess championship for refusing to agree to a title defense.

April 3, 1988: Mario Lemieux wins the NHL scoring title, ending Wayne Gretzky's seven-season run.

April 3, 1989: Michigan edges Seton Hall in OT, 80-79, for the NCAA basketball championship. Glen Rice makes five 3-pointers and scores 31 points in the victory.

April 3, 1996: Vancouver beats Minnesota, 105-103, to end its NBA-record losing streak at 23 games.

April 4, 1983: North Carolina State beats Houston in the NCAA basketball final, 54-52, as Lorenzo Charles drops Derek Whittenburg's long miss into the basket with one second to play.

April 4, 1994: On Opening Day against Dwight Gooden and the Mets, Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes of the Cubs belts three homers.

April 4, 1996: The Chicago Bulls run their home winning streak to 44 games, including their record 37th to start the 1995-96 season. On the same day, Boston ends Orlando's run of 51 straight home wins against Eastern Conference opposition.

April 5, 1953: Babe Didrikson Zaharias wins the LPGA's Babe Didrikson Zaharias Open.

April 5, 1967: Wilt Chamberlain sets an NBA playoff record with 41 rebounds as Philadelphia downs Boston, 115-104.

April 5, 1984: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar passes Wilt Chamberlain to become the NBA's career scoring leader.

April 6, 1954: The Montreal Canadiens score three goals in 56 seconds in a playoff game against the Detroit Red Wings.

April 6, 1958: Arnold Palmer wins the first of his four Masters championships.

April 6, 1989: Los Angeles Dodgers executive Al Campanis makes his ill-fated appearance on ABC's Nightline, triggering a racial controversy.

April 6, 1996: Charlotte's Robert Parish passes Kareem Abdul-Jabbar for career games played (1,561).

April 7, 1951: Ben Hogan wins the first of his two Masters championships.

April 7, 1963: Jack Nicklaus wins the first of his six Masters championships.

April 7, 1969: Ted Williams makes his debut as manager of the Washington Senators.

April 7, 1984: Jack Morris of the Tigers no-hits the Chicago White Sox for a 4-0 victory.

April 7, 1985: Herschel Walker sets a USFL record by rushing for 233 yards in a game.

April 7, 1989: FIBA changes its eligibility rules to allow professional basketball players to participate in the Olympics.

April 8, 1971: New York launches OTB, the first legal off-track betting system.

April 8, 1975: Frank Robinson makes his debut as the first black manager in Major League Baseball.

April 8, 1991: Jockey Bill Shoemaker is paralyzed in an automobile accident.

April 8, 1993: Carlos Baerga of the Indians posts switch-hit home runs in the same inning during a game against the Yankees.

April 8, 1994: Kent Mercker of the Braves no-hits the Dodgers.

Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Ryan Miller: Perry's Ice Cream unveiled its "Breakaway Berriers" flavor in Western New York at the start of the month in honor of the Buffalo Sabres goalie. Based upon his March play — 5-5-3 record, 3.38 goals-against average and .880 saves percentage — will they introduce a soft-scoop version? Miller is 14 months away from free agency and his inevitable departure to Detroit. Buffalo has a recent track record of letting free agents skate away (billionaire owner Tom Golisano has to pinch pennies the way his Paychex stock is tanking, I suppose), but a surprising number of Sabres fans won't be devastated to see Miller go.

(9) National Football League: I'm brave enough to point out to my girlfriend that she's packing on the pounds, write off visits to the neighborhood strip club as "business expenses" on my taxes and devour a local delicacy known as the "Garbage Plate" amidst a room full of patrons who make bikers look like the Osmonds. Having no desire to get my tush kicked, however, I will not be the guy to tell Troy Polamalu he has to get a haircut because the NFL doesn't want players' locks hanging out from beneath their helmets, The proposed rule does not serve a legitimate purpose and discriminates against players who haven't gone prematurely bald due to their use of steroids.

(8) Gary Thorne: The ESPN baseball play-by-play man has this thing about saying "two-RBI double" and "three-RBI home run" despite the fact that the rest of the world refers to them as "two-run doubles" and "three-run home runs." I guess he's looking to develop a signature phrase of his own, a time-honored tradition in broadcasting. But management should at the very least keep Thorne away from his Bristol co-workers, lest he start picking up some of their favorites such as "back, back, back . . .," "the biscuit is in the basket," or "wanna come back to my place and see my snake?"

(7) Indy Racing League: Their new rules will require Danica Patrick to add weight to her trunk (get you mind out of the gutter; I'm talking about her car) to negate her perceived advantage of only weighing 100 pounds. My take on her angry reaction to the news? You go(Daddy.com), girl. If the IRL wants to level the playing field, how 'bout making the male drivers take drugs that will cause cramping and leave them with that "not-so-fresh" feeling four days a month.

(6) Shaq: The big fella took some free shots at Pat Riley and the Heat last week, and they reminded me of his free throws — they missed the mark. It's sad to watch a once-great player pick on the little people of the world.

(5) Syracuse basketball: It used to be that Central New York fans only had to worry about the roof of the Carrier Dome collapsing under the weight of a winter storm. But it was their beloved basketball team that got torn down last week, surrendering a 22-point lead to lose to UMass in the NIT quarterfinals. It came just 24 days after a similar home collapse against Pittsburgh that took the Orange out of the conversation for an NCAA at-large berth. Lacrosse season cannot get here soon enough for Syracuse fans.

(4) Jonathan Roy: Patrick Roy got away with a fair amount of nonsense during his NHL playing days because he happened to be one of the most talented goalies in the world. His son, Jonathan, though gives up goals in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League at such a clip that you'd think the goal judge behind him had installed a strobe light. So when Jonny Boy and his .866 save percentage skated the length of the ice to pound on opposing goalie Bobby Nadeau last week in a futile attempt to demonstrate his manhood, he embarrassed himself, his family and his sport, On the plus side, the list of related videos that appear on the YouTube page containing the fight footage is more interesting now that "Roy" and "boob" are synonymous.

(3) Dallas Mavericks: In order to find a Mavs win over a team currently possessing a winning record, you have to go back to Feb. 13 — or, as we New Yorkers prefer to think of it, two governors ago. Now owner Mark Cuban is trying to slide out from under a controversy by rescinding his ban on media access for bloggers from legitimate media outlets by allowing all bloggers to obtain credentials. Message to Mark: You don't want to do that. Bloggers live in the basement at mom's house, possess the social skills of a dead carp, can't form a defensible opinion of their own if their life depended on it, generally just waste bandwidth and . . . uh . . . um . . . well . . . uh . . . never mind.

(2) Jay Gibbons: The Orioles, of course, deserve ample blame for handing him a four-year, $21 million deal before the 2006 season, but Gibbons is the new poster boy for underachievement on the field. Gibbons was released over the weekend, meaning he can pick up $11.9 million over the next two years for doing nothing — which, by the way, is pretty much what he did since arriving in the majors in 2001. A five-tool player if you don't count hitting, running, fielding or throwing, Gibbons managed to play as many as 100 games only once in the last four seasons.

(1) Robby Gordon: This NASCAR (lug)nut-job believes organizers of the Dakar Rally overreacted when they canceled their annual event due to the threat of more terrorism after the Dec. 24 slayings of French tourists in Mauritania. "Let's put it in perspective," Gordon said shortly afterward, demonstrating he had no perspective. "Eleven people got killed over there. I'm pretty sure in L.A., we kill 11 a night on the streets of L.A. It was a couple of kids in the back of a pickup truck with a couple of AK-47s shot a couple of people." It's no wonder Vanguard Integrity Professionals is now suing to get out of a $1.15 million sponsorship deal with Team Gordon.

An imperfect team played a perfect game 23 years ago this week to walk away with an NCAA basketball championship in one of the most memorable finals ever. April 1 marks the 23rd anniversary of Villanova's 66-64 stunner over Georgetown in which the Wildcats made 22 of 28 field goals and 22 of 27 free throws to cap a campaign in which 10 regular-season losses translated into a No. 8 seeding that more than a few observers thought was generous.

The victory at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Ky., came at the expense of an intimidating Georgetown team that had lost just twice in its first 37 games of the season (in defense of its 1984 national championship) and held its opponents to sub-40 percent shooting from the field. The Hoyas were 'Nova's fourth top-10 victim of the tournament.

More NCAA championship-game moments to celebrate this week:

March 26, 1973 — UCLA beats Memphis, 87-66, for the Bruins' record seventh straight championship.

March 26, 1979 — The Bird-Magic game as Michigan State downs Indiana State, 75-64. Magic Johnson scores 24 points on 8-for-15 shooting in the win, and Larry Bird picks up 19 points on 7-for-21 shooting for ISU.

March 28, 1950 — City College of New York beats Bradley, 71-68, as part of its unprecedented sweep of the NCAA and NIT titles in the same season.

March 31, 1975 — UCLA tops Kentucky, 92-85, to send John Wooden out on a winning note.

March 31, 1987 — Keith Smart's basket lifts Indiana past Syracuse, 74-73.

A few other highlights from this week in sports history:

March 26, 1974: George Foreman stops Ken Norton in the second round of their heavyweight fight.

March 26, 1975: The Washington Capitals extend their road streaks to 17 losses and 37 games without a victory. The futility ends two days later.

March 26, 1987: The three-point shot is approved for high school basketball.

March 26, 1992: Mike Tyson is sentenced to 10 years in jail for his Indiana rape conviction.

March 27, 1884: The first long-distance phone call is made between Boston and New York. I can't prove it, but I'd bet it was the start of the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry.

March 27, 1917: The Seattle Metropolitans become the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup.

March 27, 1972: Kentucky basketball coach Adolph Rupp retires.

March 27, 1988: Katarina Witt wins the last of her four world figure skating championships.

March 27, 1994: Magic Johnson returns to the Los Angeles Lakers as coach, winning his debut en route to a 5-11 record down the home stretch of the NBA season.

March 27, 1963: The AFL's New York Titans change their nickname to Jets.

March 28, 1973: Wilt Chamberlain rides off into retirement on a streak of 1,045 NBA games over 14 seasons without fouling out.

March 28, 1990: Michael Jordan drops 69 points on the Cleveland Cavs during the Chicago Bulls' 117-113 win.

March 29, 1984: Those modern-day pilgrims known as the Indianapolis Colts ride the Mayflower out of Baltimore under cover of the night.

March 29, 1994: Jimmy Johnson abruptly quits as coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

March 29, 1960: The Boston Celtics lose to St. Louis in the NBA Finals despite 40 rebounds from Bill Russell.

March 29, 1962: Elgin Baylor (45) and Jerry West (41) of the Lakers become the first teammates to connect for 40 points in the same NBA playoff game, a 118-117 loss to Detroit.

March 29, 1990: Hakeem Olajuwon of the Houston Rockets records a quadruple-double with 18 points, 16 boards, 10 assists and 11 blocks in a 120-94 win over Milwaukee.

March 31, 1973: The Philadelphia Flyers score eight goals in one period against the New York Islanders.

March 31, 1973: Ken Norton wins a 12-round split decision over Muhammad Ali.

March 31, 1982: The NBA and its players union agree on the first revenue-sharing plan ever for one of the big-four sports leagues, with players guaranteed 53 percent of revenue beginning in the 1984-85 season in exchange for agreeing to a salary cap.

April 1, 1938: The Baseball Hall of Fame opens in Cooperstown.

April 1, 1972: Major League Baseball players walk out, commencing the first strike in the sport's history.

April 1, 1989: Bart Giamatti replaces Peter Ueberroth as commissioner of baseball.

April 1, 1992: NHL players go out on strike for the first time in the league's 75-year history.

(10) Al Davis: Darth Raider's commitment to chaos continued with the signing of DeAngelo Hall to a seven-year deal with $24.5 million guaranteed that also required sending draft picks to the Falcons. As talented as he is, Hall's name and "emotional stability" are found in the same sentence less often than "Hillary Clinton" and "warmth." Tack on an $11 million signing bonus for Javon Walker and $18 million in guaranteed cash to wounded defensive tackle Tommy Kelly and Davis is spending like Eliot Spitzer on a visit to the Chicken Ranch. Preoccupied with going through coaches like Amy Winehouse goes though pharmaceuticals, Davis has failed to notice that recent Super Bowl champions have been built from the draft.

(9) Women's college basketball : Hey, ladies, your sport is in trouble. Need proof? You're in the midst of your marquee event, the NCAA Division I tournament, and the network broadcasting your event does two Sunday morning segments about the sport. But rather than talking up top players, top upcoming games or even top fashion accessories to dress up a pair of Chuck Taylors, ESPN's "Between The Lines" chose to highlight (1) the catfight between Geno and Pat and (2) parents' fear of lesbian coaches. Yeah, that's the sort of pub that will help grow the sport. On the plus side, maybe the lesbian thing will distract viewers from the fact that there are never more than four teams in a given season capable of winning the women's tourney.

(8) George Mason's marketing geniuses: They apparently missed class the day the history professor explained the origin of "Remember the Alamo(dome)." It seems the school had T-shirts printed to celebrate the basketball team's return to the NCAA tourney. Trouble is, they used a picture of the Superdome in New Orleans rather than San Antonio's Alamodome, site of the 2008 Final Four.

(7) Trent Johnson: The soft-spoken Cardinal coach picked a horrible time to go for a stroll, getting himself T'd and tossed late in the first half of Saturday's NCAA tournament win over Marquette. "The bottom line was, the responsibility was on me, and I was out of line," he said. "Just leave it at that if you would, please." Oh, if only life were that simple, fella. It's in dispute whether the timeout during which Johnson got in trouble had officially started, but any coach who walks deep onto the court and toward an official is just begging to be treated like a man wearing pork-chop underwear at a kennel.

(6) Seattle SuperSonics: Never mind the four-minute-mile barrier, the Denver Nuggets nearly challenged the four-points-a-minute barrier by tacking 168 on the board last Sunday night. Carmelo went for 26, A.I. 24, K-Mart 23, Dan Issel 20, David Thompson 19 and Alex English 18. My suggestion to the SuperSaps: Draft Kevin Durant again in June. Based on what I've seen so far - 41.8 percent shooting, 3 turnovers and 4 rebounds a game - you didn't get all of him the first time around.

(5) College basketball announcers: Not all of them, mind you, just the ones who refer to breaks in the game not requested by coaches as "media timeouts" rather than what they actually are - "TV timeouts." I don't see courtside newspaper columnists or Web site reporters signaling to the refs that they need 90 seconds or so to insert ads into their stories. So it's pretty clearly the TV network that needs the timeout to jam more beer, tires and erectile dysfunction commercials down our throats.

(4) Major League Baseball: By my math they cost themselves about half a million bucks by trying to stiff the coaching staffs of the Boston Red Sox and Oakland A's on their trip to Japan. They could have probably gotten away with compensating them $10,000 apiece, a quarter of what the players got, right from the start. But backed into a corner by a late player revolt, MLB and the teams ended up having to ante up $40,000 per man. And in the process they made the millionaire players look like heroes to the public for standing up for their colleagues.

(3) Indiana University: Dan Dakich was already carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders in the form of a three-game losing streak. So it was unconscionable for the school to announce the formation of a search committee to find a permanent replacement for Kelvin "Cingular Sensation" Sampson as the Hoosiers were preparing for their first-round game in the NCAA tournament. Many potential candidates were still busy coaching last week, and serious talks with candidates for a job of this stature generally happen during Final Four week when every coach in America is in town. The bottom line is that Indiana could have and should have waited.

(2) Arlen Specter: Apparently inspired by the Pennsylvania senator's meddling into Spygate, a New Jersey state senator now wants the NCAA to investigate the ending of the Tennessee-Rutgers women's basketball game. Sen. Robert Singer thinks (probably rightfully so, by the way) time had already expired before Nicky Anosike made two free throws with two-tenths of a second to play to pull out a 59-58 Vols win. Yo, senator, you can't drive more than 12 miles in any direction in your state without having to pay a toll. Try fixing that before you start fiddling with basketball games - and women's basketball games, at that.

(1) Billy Donovan: You can't fault the University of Florida coach for wanting to motivate his troops for their NIT opener, but Billy the Kid must have been Billy the Kidder when he said of his players, "I think probably in some respects the confetti is still falling down around them." Last time I looked, the roster of players he kicked out of the Gators' $11 million practice complex included seven freshmen who weren't around for the two national championship ticker-tape parades. Anyway, doing without practicing in the new building and not being allowed to wear school garb shouldn't have been too tough for the players. After all, they got by just fine without a coach last May while Donovan was stroking his ego by sipping a cup of coffee with the Orlando Magic. Must be killing him that Stan Van Gundy got the Magic refocused this month with a well-timed airing out of Dwight Howard. That, sir, is how they do it in the big leagues.