(10) Ty Lawson: The North Carolina basketball star has declared for the draft but hasn't ruled out a return to college next fall. Even if he elects to stay with the Tar Heels, Lawson is already making sports' all-too-frequent transition from boxscores to the police blotter. The sophomore point guard was charged Friday with driving after consuming alcohol after being pulled over during the early-morning hours. He was also charged with violating the Chapel Hill noise ordinance and driving with a suspended or revoked license.
(9) MLB managers: Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen returns to The Bottom 10 after nearly a month away, efficiently dissing his boss and throwing his hitting coach under the bus in the same outburst. It was more than enough to fend off Seattle Mariners manager John McLaren's rather uninspiring in a 45-second tirade that had to be bleeped 13 times. McLaren fell short of Bottom 10 honors by failing to name the players responsible for Seattle's miserable season. On the other hand, give GM Bill Bavasi point for creativity. He removed the postgame buffet from the Mariners clubhouse and hid all the towels in the locker room, forcing players to wait around and talk to the media after another miserable performance.
(8) Continental Indoor Football League: The loop lost its best team on the eve of the playoffs when the Rochester Raiders (12-0) dropped out in response to the latest minor-league sports farce. The aptly named Flint Phantoms were nowhere to be seen on Sunday, resulting in a forfeit to Rochester in the regular-season finale. When the Raiders inquired to the CIFL about seizing the Phantoms' $10,000 performance bond in order to pay their arena rent and make good to season ticket holders and sponsors (a $25,000 hit all together), they were told that Flint didn't post one. In fact, it turned out Rochester was the only member of the 14-team league that had put up the money. Media reports said the Raiders asked for their money to be returned and were rebuffed by the CIFL, so the ownership withdrew from the league barely six hours after Flint's no-show.
(7) Mike Milbury: Tiger Woods was joking (but just barely) when he said , "I don't think anybody really watches hockey anymore." Milbury, an NBC commentator, wasn't amused and referred to the world's No. 1 golfer as "Tiger Wuss." Milbury was mocking Woods for taking two months to return from arthroscopic knee surgery, and he finished the thought off with this fine contribution : "Keep your yap shut, Tiger, or I'll send a couple wingers down there - to tidy you up a little bit, meathead." Consider that proof that Woods is mentally tougher than any Don Cherry wannabe out there. P.S.: you gotta love a sport in which guys can make $300K a year with a stats line that reads "2 goals, 6 assists and 225 penalty minutes."
(6) Major Indoor Soccer League: The loop announced that commissioner Steve Ryan had resigned and they were going out of business unless someone can develop a feasible financial plan this summer to justify resuming play. I consider myself to be a pretty enthusiastic fan who keeps up on a lot of what's going on in the sports world, but I have to tell you this: God as my witness, I had no idea the MISL was still in business. I thought they had gone the way of the dinosaur around 2002. There are about 15 sports-related networks available on my cable system and I honestly can't remember running across an indoor soccer game on TV since the Reagan Administration.
(5) Marshawn Lynch: His first-year stats now total 1,115 yards a one hellacious scramble to elude questioning by the police. It's understandable that the Bills running back has lawyered up for more than a week following a hit-and-run accident in Buffalo involving a vehicle registered in his name. Do the math, and you realize it's likely Lynch was the driver, but we won't know for sure until he finally makes himself available for questioning. In the meantime, can't he show some public regard for the victim, making a statement of some sorts expressing relief that the injuries in the incident involving his vehicle were minor?
(4) Cedric Benson: So much for having the court of public opinion tilt in favor of the Chicago Bears running back as he contests a charge of boating while intoxicated stemming from an incident last month in Texas. Over the weekend, Benson was hit with new charges &$151; DWI and running a red light - in Austin. Police say he failed a field sobriety test and refused to take a Breathalyzer test. On the plus side - listen up, Marshawn Lynch - he was reported to be cooperative with authorities following the arrest. And he'll be classy and understanding when the Bears fire his butt in about an hour.
(3) Nicholas Kaczur: Staying with the Bottom 10's NFL theme awhile longer, the New England Partiots offensive lineman gets sympathy for being the first driver in recent memory to get pulled over for doing 76 mph in a 65 zone on the New York State Thruway, where 80 in the right-hand lane often qualifies as Sunday driving. The ticket led to the discovery of the prescription painkiller OxyContin inside his truck, and Kaczur eventually ended up wearing a wire to help police take down his alleged supplier. Based on price and quantity info supplied by police, Kaczur may have dropped six figures on the drug over the last six months. Read my lips Nick: "This is your brain. And this is your brain on drugs . . ."
(2) Rick Dutrow Jr.: The outspoken trainer of Big Brown was having a pretty good spring right up to the point where he projected that winning the Belmont Stakes was a "foregone conclusion." His other nugget for the week was, "These horses just cannot run with Big Brown." And we now know that's a good thing, or else the homestretch portion of the Belmont would have lasted longer than the Chicago Bulls' search for a new coach.
(1) Pitcher Cody Martin and catcher Matt Hill: These guys aren't a battery as much as they are an assault and battery. Playing in the Georgia state high school finals, they combined for a boneheaded moment last weekend in Stephens County's 13-1 loss. Apparently upset with the plate umpire's balls and strikes calls in the game against Cartersville, Martin threw high and Hill ducked low, resulting in Jeff Scott being struck in the mask. The Georgia High School Association responded swiftly with sanctions. Scott was uninjured but apparently was so stunned that he missed the obvious response of ejecting one or both players. Better still, would anyone have blamed Scott if he had charged the mound?