Scarcely a day goes by lately without hearing about more layoffs, buyouts and other dire financial developments in the newspaper industry. The business is getting chewed up by the Internet and other competitors for advertising dollars, and it's only a matter of time before some of the lesser publications become at risk of folding.

But I have a short-term solution to some of their problems on the expense side of the ledger: Quit publishing sports sections, which will save a ton in salary and newsprint.

Unfathomable, you say? Well, think again.

I've been looking closely at sports sections for the last week and all they seem to do is is re-run old stories. To wit:

 

The managers in baseball's All-Star Game more or less ran out of pitchers.

The Washington Redskins acquired a player who has one year (or less) of tread left on his tires.

Michelle Wie failed to complete the full 72 holes of a golf tournament.

Danica Patrick got into a confrontation with another driver on a weekend on which she did not win.

The last five MLS games of the week ended in ties, two of them of the scoreless variety.

Chris Evert looked graceful and lovely on grass.

And, Greg Norman attempted to play the final round of a golf major with both hands around his throat.

See, nothing new ever happens in sports.

This is farewell for The Bottom 10, which made its debut at the beginning of the year. I'm way behind on building out a couple of the Web sites that are supposed to help fund my retirement, plus summer is too slow a time of the year to consistently find 10 slimeballs, screw-ups, scandals and loveable losers to populate The Bottom 10 each week. With that in mind, I offer up a Bottom 10 with a twist - massive misses on my part from among the more than 250 victims I've picked on this year. So without further adieu, here they are:

(10) Los Angeles Dodgers: I all but handed the NL West divisional title to the Arizona Diamondbacks on April 27. Ooops.

(9) Marshawn Lynch: On June 16, I lambasted the Bills running back for not owning up to his role in a hit-and-run accident in late May and suggested that maybe the NFL should consider sitting him down for half a season. What was I thinking? Only Adam Jones or members of the Cincinnati Bengals get that kind of treatment unless guns are involved. A warning from Roger Goodell and a few hours of community service - and trust me that the judge performed a community service by yanking Lynch's driver's license - should be sufficient.

(8) Florida Marlins: I kicked off the baseball season by chewing out the Marlins for spending less on their entire roster than the Yankees are paying A-Rod this year. Turns out they have the right idea. And doing it the Marlins way has the added advantage of not getting hometown newspaper coverage of your team's games hijacked by Madonna and Lenny Kravitz.

(7) Boston Red Sox: Back in February I wrote, "Sure, he isn't going to cost them anything, but can the BoSox brass seriously expect Bartolo Colon to give them as many as two quality starts between now and Curt Schilling's return?" Sure enough, he gave them exactly two quality starts this spring en route to a 4-2 record with a 4.09 ERA. Schilling, meanwhile, is DL'd for at least the '08 season if not for the rest of his life.

(6) Bill Bavasi: In the context of criticizing a couple of managers, I gave the Mariners GM a thumbs-up for cancelling the post-game buffet and making players stand at their lockers after a loss to speak with reporters. I should have been shredding him for assembling a roster so anemic that everyone in the organization has been instructed to take iron supplements retroactive to 2002.

(5) Major League Soccer: I chided the league last month for not clamping down on bad fan behavior, specifically for throwing objects on the field. In retrospect, I should have congratulated MLS for actually having fans considering nearly a quarter of the loop's games (25 of 104) this season have ended in ties.

(4) The Williams sisters: Lamenting the terrible showing by Americans at the French Open, I opined. "Andy Roddick's fine, but the nation's tennis fans yearn for another Sampras, Agassi or anyone named Williams, provided she's focused on tennis instead of outside distractions." Soooooo, John, how'd the whole Wimbledon thing work out over the weekend?

(3) ESPN: I picked on the Bristol boys for hiring Bobby Knight as a college basketball analyst despite his history of sparring with the media. Knight turned out to be the best studio analyst they had for the NCAA Tournament.

(2) C.C. Sabathia: I picked on the portly pitcher on May 11 while pointing out that Manchester United loses money in part because the team is paying 14.25 percent in interest on a portion of the loan Malcolm Glazer took out to buy Man U. "If you've got the scratch to take a controlling interest of a business this large, shouldn't you have met someone somewhere along the way who could have fronted the money at a rate that couldn't be confused for C.C. Sabathia's ERA?" Here's C.C.'s stat line since then: 3-3 record, but a stellar 2.79 ERA.

(1) The Boston Celtics: Like many other people, I wasn't impressed with how the Celts handled the early stages of the NBA playoffs. "The Celtics walked away from their second-round battle with the Cleveland Cavaliers with their title ambitions still intact but performing about as convincingly as Elizabeth Berkley in 'Showgirls,'" I wrote. "I don't want to say Pistons in six is a sure bet, but I hear Steve Wynn is accepting Charles Barkley's $25K ticket on that proposition as payment in full." Can I get a do-over on that one?

 

Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Indiana University: Dare we call it the Curse of Bobby Knight? An Indianapolis Star column was curiously harsh in proclaiming, "(T)he epitaph can be written on Rick Greenspan's reign of (t)error," but Hoosier faithful must be praying that the athletic director's announcement of his impending departure will bring an end to years of missteps by the entire administration since Knight was forced out as basketball coach. It's ironic that Greenspan reportedly was opposed to the hiring a year ago, but now every job interview he ever endures is going to begin with, "How could you have better handled the Kelvin Sampson situation?"

(9) The Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles: Saturday's oddball loss was clearly an anomaly since winning teams have only been no-hit five times in the modern era, but it does speak to the team's bigger issue . . . aside from that hideous franchise name. Though they lead the West Division with the third-best record in the American League and clearly have some pitching, the Angels' lineup lacks punch. They're in the bottom five in baseball in slugging percentage and suffered back-to-back shutouts to the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles over the weekend before salvaging a 1-0 win on Sunday. The front office needs to add a power bat to the lineup or invent a way to start winning games by a scores of zero to minus-one.

(8) Alabama football: Reports of trouble for the Tide just keep rolling in, the latest being Jimmy Johns' arrest on felony drug charges and immediate dismissal from the football team. Fellow LB Prince Hall was already indefinitely suspended during the offseason for unspecified team infractions, DT Jeremy Elder got booted after his own run-in with the law and several players have also racked up disorderly conduct charges. Heck, even color commentator Kenny "The Snake" Stabler was accused of his third DUI this month. Swerve, Tide, swerve.

(7) Shaq's apology: I'm not even going to try to get into the (de)merits of Shaq's beef with Kobe or his diss-ability as a rapper. No, this is purely about the subsequent apology, which concluded with the requisite "If I hurt anyone's feelings, I apologize." Athletes, TV talking heads, celebs and politicians always use that phrase after screwing up, and I can't figure out why they feel compelled to say "if?" Of course you hurt someone, otherwise you wouldn't be apologizing in the first place. The whole phrase needs to die faster than Shaq's music career.

(6) New York Giants: It had to be done because the defending Super Bowl champions just have too many promising young QBs on the roster, but releasing veteran backup Jared Lorenzen was demoralizing to those of us who've ever required two trips to do the job when the coach barked, "Haul your butt down here." Standing 6-foot-4 and 290 pounds, Lorenzen was a move-the-pile, quarterback- sneak specialist worthy of two of the sport's better nicknames: The Hefty Lefty and The Abominable Throwman. Garbage time in Giants games just won't be the same without him.

(5) The latest Adam Jones situation: Critics are understandably slow to cut him a break but the Dallas Cowboys defensive back is entitled to a little common courtesy when he asks now to be called by his given name rather than "Pacman." Is it a superficial PR move to disassociate himself from mountains of trouble for which there is no one to blame but Pacman Jones? Probably. But in a world in which it's David Ortiz instead of Dave or Davy, Donovan McNabb instead of Don or Donny and Patrick Ewing instead of Pat, Jones' wish should be respected. . . at least until the next time he screws up.

(4) Darrell Arthur's reps: Somebody dropped the ball before Thursday's NBA Draft, and it resulted in the Kansas forward's stock falling like Hans Gruber after he lost his grip on Holly McClane's Rolex. Expected to go as high as No. 15, "Shady" fell to 27th and lost as much as $1 million in guaranteed money amidst rumors that he has some sort of kidney ailment. The Washington Wizards put Arthur through an exam last week and reportedly found nothing wrong. That's vital information that the player's reps needed to get into the hands of every NBA team immediately instead of leaving them to scramble for info while the first round was in progress.

(3) Darrel Arthur: Arthur must feel like someone three years into a marriage that wasn't rock-solid from the start - alternately loved and hated every 20 minutes or so. Drafted by New Orleans at No. 27, Arthur was shipped in exchange for cash to the Portland Trail Blazers, who then packaged him with forward Joey Dorsey in a deal with Houston for the rights to Nicolas Batum. The Rockets then sent Arthur to Memphis for a second-round pick and the rights to Donte Greene, who was selected one spot after the Kansas standout. On the bright side, Arthur showed more movement in one night than Joe Barry Carroll displayed in his final two NBA seasons.

(2) Shawn Chacon: When the boss tells you to report to the manager's office, your ultimate reaction can't be to go all Sprewellish on him to matter how badly the conversation deteriorates. The pitcher knew he was about the recipient of bad news and demanded that GM Ed Wade break it to him in the clubhouse instead of adjourning to the office. Chacon is now damaged goods, which in the goofy world of sports means he remains completely employable - but just on a string of one-year contracts and just for $2 million a pop. Where do I sign up?

(1) Ed Wade: The Astros general manager has a bit of a reputation for a short fuse, and the Chacon incident isn't going to help. Wade went into a rant, spiced it up with profanity and was well on his way to creating a very public scene before Chacon took it to a new level by applying his hands to the GM's throat. Wade apparently hasn't been to enough human resources training sessions to know bad news has to be delivered in private. And if the intended recipient refuses to listen to news of his demotion? Call the player's agent and tell him to start earning his 4 percent by passing the news along. Or, at the very least, channel the spirit of Billy Martin and pretend the player is Eddie Whitson. Just don't ever finish second in any dispute, verbal or physical, to the hired hands.

Next week: I recap of six months of The Bottom 10's less-than-greatest hits.

(10) Kevin Garnett: The Boston Celtics star was more than entitled to celebrate the dominating triumph over the L.A. Lakers in Game 6 of the NBA Finals and his first world championship after it looked like he might serve life without parole with the Minnesota Timberwolves. But his barely coherent screamfest in the post-game celebration made Ozzy Osbourne sound like James Earl Jones by comparison. Opt for the "Luke Russert Grace Under Pressure" school of public speaking next time, big fella.

(9) Hank Steinbrenner: Hankenstein is peeved because Yankees pitcher Chien-Ming Wang (8-2, 4.07 ERA) injured his right foot while running the bases midway through what would become a 13-0 blowout of the Astros and may be lost for the season. Steinbrenner ripped the DH-less National League, suggesting baseball's senior loop is loopy. "It's OK for the Yankees to fill up the seats in the National League parks, they make a ton of money off us," he said. "Then we should support each other when one of our guys gets hurt." Earth to Hank: The Red Sox and Yankees were the two biggest road attractions in baseball last year, but the next 11 teams on the attendance list were all from the National League. A year earlier, 11 of the top 14 were from the NL. So who's really subsidizing whom?

(8) The New York Mets: Leave it to Fred and Jeff Wilpon to make Hank Steinbrenner look like the voice of reason in New York's baseball scene. Their well-documented mishandling of Willie Randolph's firing in the early-morning hours on Monday will raise red flags when the Mutts try to hire top-shelf talent. You can never underestimate the lure of the obscene gobs of money the club can offer players, managers and staff, but sacking a guy after midnight local time a day after subjecting him to a cross-country plane ride (and after his job security had already been the subject of speculation for three weeks) suggests a callousness - or at least a level of tone-deafness - that should make prospective employees settle for the second-best offer even if it means leaving money on the table.

(7) Johnny Miller's apology: The great offense here is not what the NBC golf analyst said but rather the fact that he got beat up to the point of having to offer up a mea culpa. Miller's descriptions of Rocco Mediate during U.S. Open coverage - "He looks like the guy who cleans Tiger's swimming pool" and "Guys with the name 'Rocco' don't get on the trophy, do they?" - could only be construed as ethnic slurs by minds simpler than the operating instructions for a door hinge. But Miller, who's been solid in his second career on TV after a successful stint on the PGA Tour, still felt obligated to apologize to end the criticism. Had Miller stood firm, this could have been the instance in which people with brains finally fought back and broke the kneecaps of the Politically Correct. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another perceived ethnic slur?

(6) The Notre Dame critics : It didn't take long for the bashing to commence once NBC and the Fighting Irish announced last week that the network would continue televising the school's eight home or neutral-site football games each season through 2015 despite an abysmal record (and ratings to match) last fall. Sure, Notre Dame has rarely contended for national championships for two decades now, but the notion that it's somehow unfair that the Fighting Irish are living off their reputation is nonsense. People still talk about the Fighting Irish whether they win or lose. Critics would be better advised to rail at a system that allows many Division I sports programs to rake in obscene amounts of TV money and ticket revenue while paying the talent pennies on the dollar in the form of scholarships that can be stripped away on a coach's whim.

(5) If it bleeds it leads: The death of Funny Car driver Scott Kalitta on Saturday in New Jersey normally would have been given three paragraphs on page 3 of the morning sports section and a comparable brush-off online or on TV. I know this because a typical NHRA event gets no mention in the media most weekends, so those three paragraphs would have constituted sufficient coverage in the minds of editors and producers. But the availability of video and still photos made it too easy for all forms of media to give the story bigger play in the same fashion in which the 11 o'clock news leads with a shooting if they have footage from the crime scene. Kalitta was a successful competitor, but hardly in the same league as Dale Earnhardt Sr., Payne Stewart, Pelle Lindbergh or Thurman Munson. Would the death of an SEC linebacker or Double-A pitcher in the anonymity of a distant practice field rated the same sort of treatment? Doubtful. This time, video made the difference.

(4) Overly possessive Buffalo Bills fans: The death of Meet The Press moderator Tim Russert has left Western New York residents to wonder how they might honor their native son, whose devotion to both the football team and the community was legendary. When someone suggested inducting Russert onto the Wall of Fame at Ralph Wilson Stadium, the howls were immediate from a segment of the population that regards the idea as sacrilegious because no one who's never suited up in pads is deemed worthy of such an honor in their football temple. Hey, I own a piece of that stadium - I've got the tax bills to prove it - and I'm here to say the only reason not to induct Russert is that the meaning would be lost on too many of the 75,000 fans who fill the place exactly eight times a year. Millard Fillmore has been dead for 134 years, the Rick James thing didn't work out too well and the Goo Goo Dolls now qualify as "the face of Buffalo." With Russert gone, the Bills and Sabres unwatchable and chicken wings soooo 1992-ish, the Queen City would lack virtually all positive perception if not for folk-punk goddess Ani DiFranco. Citizens should be rushing to honor Russert at the Ralph.

And, last and most definitely least, it wasn't a particularly stellar week for women in the business of sports: (3) Jemele Hill: The columnist/on-air personality (and isn't that a rather presumptive word for a good 15 or 20 percent of the people appearing on TV these days?) apparently skipped journalism school the day the professor pointed out that making tacky references to murderous Nazi dictators was not a career-enhancing tactic. Her ESPN.com piece last weekend in part read, "Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It's like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan." It earned her a week on the bench "to reflect on the impact of her words" according to an ESPN spokesman. To her credit, Hill offered a prompt public apology. On the down side, though, she was one of the people driving the "fire Don Imus" bandwagon last year after the shock jock's ill-advised Rutgers basketball rant. Payback's a glitch.

(2) Becky Hammon: I'm completely sympathetic to her disappointment over not getting a fair shake from the U.S. basketball officials charged with selecting the 2008 Olympic basketball team - leaving her off the initial 23-woman roster last year was inane. But Hammon's decision to play for Russia in Beijing reeks of mercenary behavior. Hammon supporters suggest a double-standard; few would care if she played for Italy or Brazil but Russia is unfairly perceived still as The Evil Empire. Hammon grew up in South Dakota, attended college at Colorado State and plays for San Antonio of the WNBA, and there's not a hint of Eastern Hemisphere blood in her ancestry. It's hard to argue that she's doing this for any reason other than to cash a check.

(1) Gwen Knapp: Here's the lead of the San Francisco Chronicle columnist's post-U.S. Open column: "Tiger Woods is an idiot. A mesmerizing, peerless, incandescent idiot." Knapp found fault with Woods for pursuing his 14th major golf championship while playing on a bum knee that will require substantial surgical repair, putting forth a premise that was the equivalent of a bogey-bogey finish to lose by one at Augusta: He has diminished his chance of ever completing a single-season grand slam and has "jeopardized his entire future to play a single event." I'm pretty sure Tiger will be able to continue to put food on his daughter's plate and has already established himself as the most dominating golfer ever even if he doesn't match Jack Nicklaus in career majors. He put no one else at risk by playing and arguably scored the signature win of his career in a 19-hole Monday playoff in the "single event" that just happens to be the most important tournament of the year for many golfers. An editor should have saved Knapp from herself and spiked this column before it ever saw the light of day.

 

Gosh dang-it. I mutilated this entry today while fooling around with some coding for building tables. I'll try to resurrect it ASAP.