I'm tired of making boring sports prediction the old fashioned way.  It's time to live it up a little bit.  Here are 30 Haikus to predict what I think will happen in 2009 for all MLB teams:

Arizona Diamondbacks
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Love the two Aces.
A. Dunn should have been retained.
Lineup needs power.

Atlanta Braves
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Added high risk arms.
Obviously could pay off.
I don't count on it.

Baltimore Orioles
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Sold high on Bedard.
Markakis and Adam Jones
lead a youthful O.

Boston Red Sox
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Sure, they got pitching.
Misses Manny more and more.
Not his 'tude, but bat.

Chicago Cubs
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High expectations.
But here, I foresee trouble.
Good, but not great team.

Chicago White Sox
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Wise?  Are you kidding?
Leadoff is major weakness.
Central is open.

Cincinnati Reds
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I want to predict
good things this year for Cincy,
but Dusty still here.

Cleveland Indians
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Another year, and?
Stakes have been raised.  Balanced team.
Competes in Central.

Colorado Rockies
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Not sure what's their plan.
It doesn't include winning.
Rebuilding time now.

Detroit Tigers
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Has bad pitching staff.
Injured and inconsistent.
Can't win games this way.

Florida Marlins
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Florida Marlins?
There's baseball in Miami?
Can't be that good then.

Houston Astros
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Getting up in age.
Needs youth movement.  Could trade vets
for prospects later on.

Kansas City Royals
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Coco Crisp: Great move!
Still, pitching will come up short.
Look out next year, boys.

Anaheim Angels
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Another old squad.
Guerrerro's MVP days
are long behind him.

Los Angeles Dodgers
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Oh god!  Manny's back!
Torre's young guys play quite well.
Contenders out West.

Milwaukee Brewers
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Lost CC and Sheets,
So not much pitching is left.
Offense might carry.

Minnesota Twins
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Last season in dome.
And Mauer and Baker hurt.
Won't play well to start.

New York Mets
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Shored up biggest need.
Putz and K-Rod will produce.
Will be N.L. Champs

New York Yankees
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I hate to say this.
But money indeed buys wins.
Yanks go all the way.

Oakland A's
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What is moneyball?
Signed and traded for big names.
For sure better now.

Philadelphia Phillies
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Plenty of talent.
Team has three MVPs!  Wow!
Repeating is tough.

Pittsburgh Pirates
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So many top picks
Yet team still stinks like skunk's butt.
'09: same story.

San Diego Padres
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Who plays on this team?
Try naming a player here
besides Jake Peavy.

San Fransisco Giants
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Cy Youngs.  Much is made.
But Big Unit and Zito
ain't no good no more.

Seattle Mariners
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Love getting Grif back;
And Beltre will have big year.
It's still not enough.

St. Louis Cardinals
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Pujols: "I'm healthy."
You mean, last year you were not?
Can do it alone.

Tampa Bay Devil Rays
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So young and so good.
Has Price and Longoria.
Wild Card bound team.

Texas Rangers
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Gotta love Hamilton.
Team will crush many homers.
Won't win without arms.

Toronto Blue Jays
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Sheets and Jays: Good fit.
Had great pitching last season,
Will need more this year.

Washington Nationals
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Possesses first pick;
Consensus Ace is there; But
no cash to sign him.