Because the animals went in 2-by-2........

Well, that was one of the better races of the season so far, as measured by the How-Far-James'-Back-Was-From-The-Back-Of-The-Chair measurement system which came it at approximately 8-10 inches (and yes I am trying to adopt the same position as I write this and trying to wedge a ruler in the gap between me and the chair). However, the end still came up short compared to Air Edwards on the How-Many-Profanities-James-Used measurement scale, as it failed to even cause even one curse word.

Back on the measurement front you could have forgiven Tony Stewart for taking a tape measure to Dover to try and find out whether it was just the pit road they made wider. For as wide as Tony tried to make his car Jimmie Johnson appeared to be able to find some extra track, for any of you who have ever heard of Wallace and Gromit, think of Gromit with the model train set. For those of you who have so far missed out on what greatness can be made of plastecine - enjoy - the "Johnson Moment" can be found at 1:30, and yes, I believe there is a case that Tony Stewart looks like an evil Penguin.....

Meanwhile...........

Max Papis - A rare DNQ for Mad Max, coming out only above Derrike Cope (who's elderly person's mobility scooter couldn't cope with the banking) and David Starr (who drastically misunderstood the start-and-park philosophy by forgetting the start part..............10/10

Mike Bliss - Mike's (and Phoenix Racing's) slide into the S'n'P abyss continues with at 40th place after a mysterious Electrical problem gave him just enough juice to work out what the problem, make it down off the track, down pit road, and safely into the garage where the rest of the team was able to take a look. I don't know but if real cars had real problems that were obliging as that then the AAA wouldn't really have a purpose anymore..........9/10

David Gilliland - And the start and parks keep coming (for the first AFNK is decades seemingly with Dave Blaney the rest aren't letting the side down.) I am caught in two minds about David Gilliland (although don't tell anyone or they'll have me in a strait jacket). In previous weeks I'd have forgiven them a lot as they continue to make an effort to run full race lengths. However, the old stay-out-and-lead-a-lap trick before the Power Steering gave out (that turn to the garage is awful sharp) stopped DG after 38 laps - earning him another return ticket to AFNK next week......................10/10

Joe Nemechek - Introducing the longest sponsor set in the history of NASCAR as Joe took to the monster mile with support from G.P.'s Enterprises/Huckleberry's BBQ/Lubepros. However, even with all those letters on the car (I like to imagine that sponsors have to pay by the letter to get their names on cars, like you had to on Football shorts, which made players with surnames like "Roy" everyone's favourite) Joe couldn't make it beyond halfway, dropping aout after completing 67 laps after a drive shaft problem (probably the weight of all those sponsors)................................9/10

Mark Martin - The old man of NASCAR was again showing the sort of form that has made call time on calling time on his career for yet another year. He was bothering the top-5 most of the day, presumably asking younger drivers to pull his finger, telling stories recounting the good old days while the young 'uns would rather play on their Xstation and drinking copious amounts of tea (which presumably is Tony Eury Jr.'s new role and Hendrick, along with fetching Mark's slippers) all while relaxing in the rocking chair he gained under false pretences when he first thought about retiring, somewhere is the midsts of time..............3/10

Kasey Kahne - Dodge were putting a new engine to good use (which is good, because it might the last new engine Chrysler come up with for a while) with Kahne's outside pole and Reed Sorenson's nosebleed performance in qualifying showing exactly what was possible. However, as Reed Sorenson proved he really was Reed Sorenson (and not The Stig or anyone else who can actually drive) and dropped like a stone attached to an anchor Kahne stuck around in the top of lap charts, eventually coming in 6th..........2/10

Kevin Harvick - The man with the plastic complexion had a "nice" anonymous weekend at Dover. "Nice" because RCR and Harvick inparticular have had a pig of a season and need results to start coming in. And all being even (Harvick has only had 2 top-20 finishes in the previous 7 races) a 17th place finish is good news for the #29 car, but not for me as it means I have to try and be funny about Kevin Harvick again (which is very difficult when he's not picking a fight with someone)..............5/10

And the Brikkie goes too..................

It's a tough one this week. There were umpteen debris cautions, but without them the race would have been all over bar the shouting by half-way. Then there's David Stremme, he caused one caution, before crashing himself, taking out Robby Gordon and Paul Menard along the way, but that's Menard and Gordon, such actions should be rewarded with a medal, not punished with a foam brick.

Nope this week's Brikkie goes to all thing's Kyle Busch - and I mean all things. Firstly to Kyle himself, and a little to the team for not changing all the tyres when he had a vibration, secondly to the team and a little to Kyle for not considering the splitter - which has always seemed to be about the second thing you look for when this car gets a vibration. Thirdly to the crowd - that cheering was vile. We get that you don't like Kyle and prefer the guy embrassing his family name (and no, for once that's not John Andretti) and we know that he hasn't done anything worthwhile in ages, but have you got so desperate that you start cheering others' misfortune. Jr zealots, in case you haven't noticed there are 41 cars on the track besides Busch and Your Beloved that need to have a problem as well, so you're going to get awfully hoarse with cheering going down that route. Kyle Busch fans - you have my permission to cheer whenever you see a car with a Jr. merchandise item (and there are enough of them - this means you Cabbage Patch Dolls) broken down at the side of the road.

Next Week

There is no Dave Blaney again!! Instead we have the S'n'P collective of David Gilliland, Tony Raines and Mike Skinner, ably assisted by Scott Speed. Kevin Harvick returns, Elliott Sadler makes an all too infrequent visit and Carl Edwards tries not to wreck any of his Roush team mates. Oh, and we all try and stay awake through Pocono. Good Luck with that.