I don't just post compelling, entertaining, comical entries on this blog every day. I actually have a paying job, too.

I write for a weekly publication, The Journal Newspapers, based in Wayne, MI. It's not the New York Times. Hell, it's not even the St. Pete Times, but I like my job.

A number of our reporters take time out of their schedules to go catch a flick-some that they might not otherwise see-and let our readers know if it's worth the small fortune it costs to go see a movie these days.

I don't know about anybody else on our staff, but whenever I take on a review, it's hard to get through it most of the time because of the mountainous amount of cell phone users in the theater.

 Do they think the ad that comes on just before the previews start that says, "Please, turn off all cell phones and other devices," is a joke? Are the people in the theater doctors and on call 24 hours a day? Is somebody going into labor in the 97 minutes it takes to watch Failure to Launch? Are they the relatives the doctor is supposed to call to pull the plug?

Usually they're just teenagers or "adults" who think the world and everything in it revolves around them. They think somebody calling them to talk about absolutely nothing is more important than my notes for Dave Chapelle's Block Party. It's hard enough for me to write on a small note pad in the dark, but it's twice as difficult when someone is explaining to their friend how "hot" Matthew McConaughey is.

I love movies. Always have. Always will. I don't love it when I can't enjoy a movie because, "Whatchu know about that, hey, I know all about that?" is blaring from somebody's Samsung. I swear, if I hear another polyphonic version of the theme music from Super Mario Bros., I'm going on a four state killing spree. Nobody's gonna stop me.

It's almost inevitable for me to end up on the five, six, 10 and 11 o'clock news because this happens at every theater I go to. If it doesn't get any better, I'm going to have to start getting, um... "advanced" copies of the films I review so I can watch them in peace.

Please, if you see someone at a local movie house and they're jotting down bullet points on a note pad, have some respect. If you don't, the next call you make might be to 911.