Even though I'm still mostly in "baseball mode" I decided to turn on the NFL Network today. Something that caught my attention was a commercial that mentioned "NFL Opening Kickoff 2007." NBC will broadcast this musical event from Indianapolis on September 6 in honor of the first NFL game of the season. The featured performers will be John Mellencamp, Faith Hill and Kelly Clarkson. Now, I know that NFL football is the most popular sport in America. I know that the game appeals to people of all different types and backgrounds. Judging by the commercials you see during NFL-related broadcasts though, it's clear that the sport is marketed mainly toward young men with high levels of testosterone. Is the average NFL fan really interested in any of those three artists?

First you have John Mellencamp. Who wants to see John Mellencamp? Doesn't every NFL fan hate him by now after hearing that "this is our country" song on every...single...commercial break last season? Some of his older hits are OK, but I have no desire to hear that song ever again. I'd be inclined to turn off the TV just to eliminate the risk of hearing it.

Then you have the females. Faith Hill and Kelly Clarkson are both beautiful and talented. They're both big-time sellers and have Grammy Awards to their names. They're certainly safe choices that would please the sponsors. I have to wonder how many football fans would ever buy their music though. I certainly don't own anything either one has released. It's not that I have a problem with their music, it's that I just don't care enough to spend my money on it. I suppose there are some guys out there who might watch the show just to see these attractive ladies, but I personally think hearing great music and seeing a great performance is a more fulfilling experience than just watching a fairly good-looking woman.

With that in mind, here's a set of three artists who would make for a much more entertaining show.

Taylor Hicks. Hey, if you want "American Idol" winners why not go with the one winner who wasn't a run-of-the-mill pop star? Taylor was known for his crazy stage moves and enthusiasm for the music when he was on "Idol" and I've heard that his live performances since then don't disappoint either. They had him sing the National Anthem at the NBA Finals this year (though I'll admit it was slightly "pitchy"), so we already know he can perform in front of sports crowds. While he's been panned by the critics since his run on America's top-rated TV show, there's still a good segment of the population that likes him or would like him if they were ever exposed to his distinct performance skills and artistic vision. The silver-topped soul man loves to be on stage, and you can bet that he would make the most of this gig.

"Weird Al" Yankovic. Some people are hardcore fans while others are just familiar with his more popular parodies. Either way, most would agree that he's a funny and creative guy. His live performances are quite humorous as well, often involving costumes and skits. He probably wouldn't be able to do all that with a program like this, but his crazy personality and hilarious lyrics are entertainment in themselves. Come to think of it, his last album had a Taylor Hicks parody on it. Maybe Al and Taylor could perform "Do I Creep You Out" as a duet. Would that not be a musical moment you'd tell your children about?

Cheap Trick. Why doesn't America's greatest rock 'n roll band get more love? The original lineup is still together and still rocking. If their last album isn't proof that they've still "got it" nothing is. Don Imus had them on his show last year and look where he is now. OK, bad example, but still...these guys are pros who know how to put on a show. America wants Cheap Trick. They just don't know it yet. The NFL should book them for next year's show right now and avoid the rush (something any Raiders quarterback this year will have to do as well).

Some of you probably think I have no taste in music. It's OK, I'm used to hearing that. I know that most corporate sponsors would never approve of this lineup. I will say, however, that I would actually watch this show, as opposed to the one they've got now which I think I'll pass on. The comment section is an opportunity for you, the average NFL fan, to name three musical artists you'd want to see perform at NFL Opening Kickoff. Perhaps with our efforts we can bring the NFL one step closer to giving us what we really want.



P.S. There are still several spots available in socratesofswat's baseball writing contest. Give it a go if you're a fan.