When will it ever end, fellow Pats fans? When will they stop disrespecting our team, the New England Patriots? You can't turn on the TV or listen to the radio anymore without hearing some moron dissing our guys. Every year we show the NFL that we're the best team in the league, and they still never give us any credit! It's disgraceful!

What's that you say? The Pats didn't even make it to the AFC Championship Game last year? Well give us a break! We had a bunch of injuries. We do, after all, play harder than any other team in the league. Besides, Jake Plummer and the Broncos were no slouch. We lost to one of the best non-Patriot teams of the decade (I mean, they must've been), and just barely! You know we would've won the Super Bowl if the team had been at full strength. That's a fact and you can't deny it. Tom Brady is a god. Unless it's some fluke like the Broncos, you can not, I repeat can not, beat him come Playoff time. Look at the way he stepped it up against the Chargers last weekend and single-handedly won that game!

What's that you say? Brady completed fewer than 53% of his passes and threw 3 interceptions? Yeah, right! Where did you hear that? It's probably those people who keep the statistics. They must've made up those stats so that it would look like he had a bad game. It's all part of the NFL's conspiracy to make the Pats look bad and ensure that nobody gives them any respect!

What's that you say? The media is always fawning over Tom Brady and Bill Belichick? Well of course they say good things about them sometimes! Brady's the best quarterback in the league today (if not the entire history of the NFL) and Belichick is the greatest coach of all time. The media's job is to report facts. Anytime they talk about their greatness it's a simple matter of journalistic integrity. We all know that deep down they hate the whole Patriots organization. I mean, come on! They always bring up the 12-1 playoff record Brady and Belichick have together. They just have to remind everyone that the Patriots lost in the Playoffs one measly time.

Then there's this upcoming game with the Colts. I'm actually hearing people predicting that the Colts will win! Is this a joke? They talk about all this stuff like the Patriots being on the road, and the Colts' defense playing better, blah, blah, blah. I'll tell you the only fact you need to know: Brady and the Pats have 3 rings. Peyton Manning and the Colts have none. The Colts have no shot at winning this game because they're losers. The Patriots are winners, and that's all there is to it. Once a winner, always a winner. Once a loser, always a loser. That's how sports work.

What's that you say? Six years ago the Patriots had never won a Super Bowl or even so much as a championship in the old AFL? Psssh. Whatever. We've won three of the last five Super Bowls (soon to be four of six), and the Colts have never won one. I mean, we all know that they were never good until Manning came along. You're obviously just jealous! We're a better team than you and have more class any day!

What's that you say? The Patriots classlessly mocked the Chargers on their home field in the final seconds of a crushing Playoff loss last weekend? There was nothing classless about that! They were just making fun of Shawne Merriman's "Lights Out" dance! That guy is such a trash talker. At halftime of our game against the Jets he actually predicted the Jets would win! Suggesting that the Patriots are beatable is nothing short of sacrilege! Besides, it's revenge, because the Chargers mocked us after winning on our field last year. That game last season was much more important to our franchise than the one last weekend was to the Chargers! The bottom line is that Merriman does that dance because he's a classless, steroid-using showboat. The Patriots do it because it makes a statement. You can't mock us on our home turf or we'll come back and beat you. That's all they were saying. The Patriots would never actually lower themselves to the level of someone like Shawne Merriman.

Even though we all know that they're going to win the Super Bowl again this year, it just won't be enough unless everyone else admits that their teams are inferior and should consider themselves lucky even to be on the same field as our mighty Patriots! We have to unite and fight for respect, since the Pats aren't going to get any no matter how many Super Bowls they win. We need to start blogs and e-mail every dumb sportswriter who makes even the slightest suggestion that the Patriots aren't the best until everyone in America hears our cry. RESPECT US!!!!

(Note: This piece is satirical. I'm not a Patriots fan, nor do I think that all Patriots fans hold such exaggerated beliefs.)