I just found out that a Moneyball movie is in the works. If it is rated R, I think I am going to kill myself.

Anyway, these are the actors I would cast for each part:

Billy Beane-Sources say that the part is between two guys: George Clooney and Vince Vaughn. Out of the two I would prefer Vaughn, but I wouldn't cast either of them. For Billy Beane, I think it has to be the guy from Entourage. I think his name is Jeremy Piven, he plays Ari. He has a humorus side to him but he can also be serious, just like Billy. He would be perfect for the line "Who is the best looking GM in baseball?  The only problem would be that he is too much like Ari, but I still think he is the best for the part.

Paul DePodesta-I would cast John Krasinski (the guy from License to Wed and The Office). He could definetely pull off the nerdy computer geek look, and they even look a lot alike. He and Piven would be an awesome combo, I can see Krasinski whispering corrections into Piven's ear while Piven is on the phone.

Scott Hatteberg-It would be his first serious role, but he has the potential to be a great actor and he fits in with the Hatteberg personality, so I would go with Johnny Knoxville. He would need to fatten up a little more and dye his hair red, but other than that he is great for this role.

Ron Washington-At first I thought Don Cheadle would be a good fit, and he is, but I think I found a better one in Danny Glover. Washington is quiet but can be very talkative at the same time. He also is a great leader and the players looked up to him. I am hoping that Glover's role in Angels in the Outfielder prepared him enough for this role.

Chad Bradford-I couldn't think of one for him either, so I got this one from a website, too. Kip Pardue was their pick, saying that he would have to make a trip to the barber for this role and that he is best known for Remember the Titans ("Sunshine") and Rules of Attraction.

Nick Swisher-This one was really hard. Mostly because it was hard to find a personality like Swisher's. The weird thing is I didn't find a personality like Swisher's, but I think he is a good enough actor to make himself have a Swisher-like personality. In the end, I got Joaquin Phoenix. I really don't know how but I did.

Art Howe-Terry O'Quinn would be great for this part (the bald dude from Lost). They look a lot alike and I can definetely see O'Quinn cutting Mike Magnante.

Bill James-I couldn't think of anyone, so I got this one off of a website: Paul Giamatti. I think he would be a good fit, but he is a little thin. He has the right personality, though.

Kenny Williams-I think an older-looking Taye Diggs could pull off this part, but what can't makeup do these days? They kind of look alike, and since Williams is portrayed pretty much as an idiot in the book , it should be perfect for Diggs. I mean seriously, if he could pull off his role in Malibu's Most Wanted, he can pull this off.

John Mabry-He seems like an angry guy according to the book, so I think Josh Lucas would be a great fit, even though he might be a little expensive after being a star in Glory Road and Poseidon. He is perfect, though, especially for the on-going argument with Feiny.

My favorites are Piven for Beane, Lucas for Mabry, and Krasinski for DePodesta.

There are probably going to be a lot of disagreements on the parts, so feel free to let your voice be heard.

First off, I am not a Yankees fan. I hate the Yankees so much that it is actually kind of disgusting. And since I hate both of teams there is no bias towards any team whatsoever.

This is probably going to get a lot of people mad and make humiliating comments, but someone has to do it.

Who is more annoying-the Yankees or the Red Sox? It is actually really hard for me to tell.

Sure, the Yankees are the Yankees. They have more money than every team in the MLB, they have scandolous (and really annoying) players, an annoying owner, a do-nothing GM, and, for that matter, a do-nothing coach. The fact is they can buy pretty much any player they want, and, I mean, the poor little Red Sox just can't do a darn thing about it.

But that is where I'm wrong. They can do a thing about it. They actually can do almost, if not just as much, as the Yankees.

C'mon, it's not like they don't have any money. ESPN cites that the Red Sox have $143,123,714 to they Yankees $195,229,045. Sure this a difference of about $50 million, but to the Yankees and the Red Sox that is what, pocket change? The Red Sox bought out Dice-K, by paying his Japanese team $51 million just to have the rights to him. Then, they went and paid him $52 million over six years. Both of those totals are more than the total team salaries of teams like the Cubs, Cardinals, Tigers, Braves, and Giants.

Keep in mind that all of that was for one player.

But what makes me even more mad than that is that Red Sox fans whine about each and every thing the Yankees do, whether it be the Yankees signing Johnny Damon, getting Babe Ruth, which brought along-you guessed it-that friggin' curse. During that 86-year span, Red Sox fans were more unbearable than ever.

The whole Bill Buckner thing was a joke. Don't blame a superstition that one guy makes one error. It was only a coincidence that it was during the World Series. And, correct me if I am wrong, but that was game six of a seven game series. Red Sox fans seemed to have forgotten that there was still another game in that series, because it isn't like they just lost it in game six. They had another chance. In fact, there is a word that describes this feat that starts with a "c" and ends with a "e." But it isn't curse. The word is choke.

Whine, whine, whine...spend, spend, spend...is that all you Red Sox do? Oh yeah, there is one more thing: hate the Yankees. I don't really disagree with that last one, though.

However, the Yankees are still the Yankees. I still can't decide which one I hate more...

I got bored and decided to make a tournament of the most well-known steroid-users (in baseball).

1. Barry Bonds

2. Jose Canseco

4. Mark McGwire

5. Jason Giambi

3. Sammy Sosa

6. Rafael Palmeiro

7. David Segui

8. Jason Grimsley

Round One-

1. Barry Bonds vs. 8. Jason Grimsley: Most people think Bonds advances right of the bat, but Grimsley was the guy that named players like Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts, and even David Segui (along with others) to be linked with steroids. But, Bonds is about to break the famous record in baseball history, so Bonds advances. 

2. Jose Canseco vs. 7. David Segui: Is there really any competition in this one? C'mon, Canseco was the founder of this whole tournament, so I gotta let him advance.

3. Sammy Sosa vs. 6. Rafael Palmeiro: Sure, Sammy just hit 600, but his lame excuse of, well, an excuse, was that he couldn't speak english. Sure, I'll give him that he isn't fluent, but I mean, seriously, that is stupid. The same day, Raffa says that he hadn't used steroids...period. When in reality he had failed a drug test before the hearing. It ended up buying him some time for some more home runs. Close call, but Palmeiro pulls the upset.  

4. Mark McGwire vs. 5. Jason Giambi: This one is almost as close as the 3-6 matchup, and again it will come down to they guy with the bigger cohones. McGwire also had a sad excuse: "I'm not here to talk about the past-I'm here to talk about the future." Giambi's recent come-out wins it for him.

Semifinals-

1. Barry Bonds vs. 5. Jason Giambi: Barry is arguably the best the hitter ever. The fact is, he hasn't been PROVED of using steroids yet. Giambi actually told the world himself that he's been juiced, where Bonds had his own his show about how he didn't use them. This tournament is for steroid users, not for the guys-who-said-they-didn't-but-probably-did. Giambi advances.

2. Jose Canseco vs. 6. Rafael Palmeiro: If it were by talent, I would give it to Palmeiro. One can assume that he didn't used steroids as long as Canseco did. But Canseco CREATED Raffa. He created his juicer legacy and all of the media that comes along with it. Canseco advances easily.

Finals-

2. Jose Canseco vs. 5. Jason Giambi: Let's match up the stats:

• Media: Canseco gets the edge here, I mean, seriously, he had a book.
• Talent: It's hard to tell here, but the edge goes to Giambi. He supposedly isn't using steroids anymore and he still he isn't slowing down...much.
• Accusations: Obviously, this has to go to Canseco.

In the end, Canseco comes out with the win, winning the first annual Tournament of Juicers.

If you have any comments on this then feel free to let your voice be heard on the comment board. Oh, and the reason that Roger Clemens and Miguel Tejada weren't on this is because they were only accused. There hasn't been much evidence behind it.

"Yeah, last year's champion...was...umm...who was last year's champion?"

Seriously, people, who was last year's World Series Winner? Because it sure wasn't the St. Louis Cardinals. Last year, the Cardinals were a different team in a different league than the 2007 Cardinals. But, oh yeah, the 2006 regular season Cardinals were almost just as disappointing. How could a team with an 83-78 record win the AL Central? Oh yeah, because it is the St. Louis Cardinals.

This team went from a 100-62 record in '05 and choking in the playoffs, to barely itching by with squeak of a record over .500 and winning the World Series.

What do I have to say about this? Well, one well-known phrase sums it up: Parallel Baseball Universe (in the NL Central).

What else could be used to describe this undescribable feat? The Houston Astros in '05 were the team that were unbeatable down the stretch, and even more dominant in the playoffs, until they played the White Sox. But see, that is exactly the point that proves my argument true: St. Louis was the team last year that choked down the stretch, and then couldn't be beaten in the playoffs (and that does include the World Series).

So, what will happen this year? The Cardinals will end up getting hot down the stretch, but the Brewers will edge it out in the last, oh, let's say, 10 games. In those ten games there will be a contension for the wild card: between the Astros, Cardinals, and the Cubs.

We can already scratch out the Astros, because, frankly, I hate them. So this brings us to two teams: the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs. This is where it gets complicated: everybody is going to expect the Cardinals to win because they won the World Series last year, and everybody is going to expect the Cubs to choke because they are the Cubs. But that is the beauty of a parallel universe: you can't predict anything. You think one thing and then the next minute you think something else.

In the end, you guessed it, the St. Louis Cardinals will win the wild card. Nobody really knows how but they will win it. But, in hindsight, they actually won't win it. The whole concept of  "they can't win it" will win it for them. The fact that everybody counted them out last year won it for them, and in '05 when they were the favorites, they lost because everybody had counted everybody else out in the NL. So what we end up is an endless cornocopia of confusion.

Because, again, we are living in a Parallel Baseball Universe. In the NL Central.

Ah, it's a nice day in Philadelphia. The wind is blowing, the birds are chirping, and suddenly there is a deafening sound of boos coming from Citizens Bank Park. Oh, but never mind that- some dude with a bat just hit his 713th home run of his career.

When the name Babe Ruth comes up, people think "the greatest baseball player to ever live." Similarly, when the name Hank Aaron comes up, people think "the greatest baseball player to ever live." But, when the name Barry Bonds comes up, people think "that's the guy that everybody was insulting at the game last night," and "if he breaks the Babe's record, I'm gonna drive down to BALCO and turn into the greatest baseball player to ever live."

Can anyone guess the difference? Well, for one thing, after Hank Aaron broke Babe's record, he was praised all around the country (even though he was black, and prejudism was as hot as Angelina Jolie). Also, neither Babe or Hammerin' Hank were associated at all with performance inhancing drugs.

People can make the argument that pitching wasn't as good back in the day; but when push comes to shove, 714 is a really big number. And, Barry Bonds is a big boy. But, did he look as big as he does now in Pittsburgh? I think not. Being a teenager, I know you don't go through puberty in your 20s unless you're name is Andy Milonakis. And quite frankly: this guy doesn't look like Andy Milonakis. He might be dumb enough, but no cigar.

If I asked anyone in my school whether or not Bonds disserved 713, not only would people say no, but they would probably start laughing hysterrically. Barry- here's some career advice: retire now before you hit no. 714. At least then you will graduate from as much respect as a toilet seat, to as much respect as a doorknob.

Why don't other steroid users get as hated as Bonds does? Obviously because Bonds is a far better juicer than Rafael Palmeiro or Jason Giambi. It sure does take a lot of energy to inject a syringe into your bicep every night. In fact, I think it would be better for his family to retire. On Bonds on Bonds, he states that it he recieves death threats by phone and email warning him to retire. If it is truly that hard, do your family and the baseball world a favor in retiring.

Because 713 is a really big number, too.

Juicy, in fact.