I have seen way too many posts written about each blogger's NFL predictions. Sure, I like seeing each person's point of view for the season, but I decided I would invent a new NFL prediction: which players will get into what trouble?

It perfectly fits, too, with Michael Vick and dogfighting, the NBA and Tim Donaghy, and last but not least the MLB and Barry Bonds. So now for each season I will predict for each division not the winning and losing teams, but rather the winning and losing players.

So without further ado, here they are:

NFC East:

Loser-Tony Romo: I am predicting that Romo's first 8 games he will have the highest QB Rating, Passing Yards, and Completion Percentage. And then the next game he will complete 11 passes of 37, with 4 INT, 0 TD, and a QB Rating of appr. 6.00. For this bad performance Carrie Underwood will dump him, launching Tony off the deep end. A few DUIs later Brad Johnson will be Dallas' starter.

Winner-Terrell Owens: How is he not making this list? This year TO will drop the first 7 passes thrown to him, mystically disappear for two weeks, and come back not only catching every ball thrown his way, but becoming Wade Phillips' coach's pet. Bold, I know, but it will happen.

NFC North:

Loser-Brett Favre: Brett isn't going to have a fun year. He will get arthritis in his right fingers after his first attempted throw of the first game of the year. Depression will eat away at his soul, until finally he is filed for theft of a local coffee shop. Then he will take a leave of absence to get his head together. While away, he will concoct a plan to get Mike Holmgren back in Green Bay. The only thing that will keep him from committing suicide in this most trying of times is the Bo Burnham videos on YouTube.

Winner-Jon Kitna: First of all, at the beginning of the season he will say something like this: "The Detroit Lions are the team to beat in the NFC North this year. Not only will we win the division, but we will make the playoffs, too. You know why? 'Cause we got a guy named Chad Johnson, baby, OCHO CINCO!" The next week: "I would publicly like to apologize to my teammate Calvin Johnson-it was an honest mistake." And you are asking "How does that make him a winner?" Because, frankly, it brings more media to the Lions; something they have been lacking since Barry Sanders left.

NFC South:

Loser-Gaines Adams: I don't see any positives for this guy heading into his rookie season: has to fill in for the Bucs' best defensive lineman since Warren Sapp left, has to play for a team who is led by Jeff "Clap-On, Clap-Off" Garcia, and coached by a guy whose facial expression is almost as scary as Bill Cowher's used to be.

Winner- Michael Vick: He will hire a big-time lawyer (a new one than the one he has), and while on trial his lawyer will something like "if the noose don't fit, you must acquit." Shockingly, the jury will rule him "Not Guilty" and he will play in the NFL this season. Some 20 years later he will write a book called If I Hurt Dogs.

NFC West:

Loser-Matt Leinart: His performance will be good, but the fact that he plays for the Cardinals sinks his battleship, here. Paris Hilton will finally return his phone calls, stating "Matt, like I can't see you anymore. Like, seriously, where did you go? I keep hearing your voice when I don't pick up your calls, and my assistant said that I was just hearing the answering machine. But, like, why would they have an answering machine when I, like, didn't ask you a question? I'm confused..." This one call will turn him mad, because Paris was his last hope of getting out of Arizona, but now that she won't help him, he's stranded in the hell that is "The AZ."

Winner-Dennis Green: He doesn't have to coach the Cardinals anymore. Whether he was fired or he resigned, it doesn't really matter, because now he gets out of a franchise that was made to lose. And remember, folks, "The Bears are what we thought they were!" 

So you see, instead of doing the ritual "Who's going to win the division?" predictions, why not be unique? What happened to Miss Independent? Seriously, what happened?

hstreet4cyyoung

I will have the AFC Edition posted some time between three days from now to next week. 

I really hate when people blame their mis-haps on unreal things. Let's take curses for example.

1. "The Curse of the Bambino:" an unreal-superstition that citizens known as "Red Sox Nation" blamed for their favorite team's constant chokes.
2. "The Curse of the Billy Goat:" Read number one.
3. "The Curse of the fill in childhood story here:"The whole "Bloody Mary" and "Donkey Lady" stories are enternaining, but c'mon, there's a reason little kids (yes, younger than me) are the only people who tell the stories.

And then we finally have the most absurd curse of all, the "Madden Curse." The curse where if you happen to be on the Madden cover for the upcoming football season, you are going to get hurt. I have news for all you curse believers: it's football. Everyone is going to miss a week or two at least once every two seasons or so. And, I know, most of the "Madden Curse" injuries have been pretty major, but, again, it's football. It's going to happen whether you are on the curse or not.

Michael Vick is a quarterback, not to mention a mobile quarterback. He is going to get pounded game in and game out, and when you line up against the Ravens' defense, you know involuntarily that you are going to have to ice after the game if you are not carted off. You really can't say you are surprised that Vick got injured: runs everywhere, coming off a breakout season so everyone will be gunning for him, and he's playing against the Ravens defense.

Ray Lewis is a little tougher to analyze. He's a linebacker, so, for the most part, he does the tackling. But the thing with Ray is is that he is a shoulder-first, no-regard-for-the-personal-body type of tackler, so that is bound to happen, too.

Donavan McNabb is the one exception "coincidence." You can't really analyze his injury, it just sort of happened.

Shaun Alexander, finally, is the guy where I would've been more impressed if he wouldn't have gotten hurt last year. He is a runningback who is fast, don't get me wrong, but his way of running is breaking tackles, and using the stiff-arm. He is going to take a beating every game just for being a runningback, then adding the whole "You can't tackle me because I'll hit you harder" image is just frightening.

So as you can see, folks, the Madden Curse is just an refuge for fans whose season-or even just a few games-was ruined. But why stop at analyzing the past injuries? Why not this year's cover boy, Vince Young?

Vince, like Vick, is a mobile quarterback. Under Jeff Fisher, however, he is learning to become a semi-pocket, semi-looking to run type quarterback. Another thing he has on Vick is his size and, yes, I am saying it, his ability to make decisions. Last year, against the Texans, he ran the ball in himself for the game-winning touchdown. If you watch the tape, he dropped back and looked to pass first, and then scrambled when he saw holes and that no one was open. At the national championship game against USC he ran it in. Why drop back and pass when there is a gaping hole in the defense? Both of these game-winners came off of great decisions and he was virtually un-touched by the opposing teams' defense on both plays.

But he is still a mobile quarterback.

You can count on him getting injured at some point during the season, but don't count on it being a long sit-out.

There you have it, people, the diagnosis of a curse based on a video game. I have no life.

philip1thru12's post "We Need Blogging Mentors!!!!!!!!!" inspired me to write this.

There has been talk about having "blogging mentors" for the younger bloggers out there. If you ask me, I am all for it, but if you want to mentor me, you better be prepared. Just ask some of my former teachers:

"Class-pet fighting, recess brawls, the kid was bad. When I was teacher, he volunteered to be the gym class referee for the younger kids. Turns out that he and the other fifth graders were betting on the games he called all along. They called him 'Rookie Bookie.'"

                                                                                           -Mr. Glowne, 5th Grade Teacher

"Sometimes I dream about hstreet. I either wake up screaming, crying, or in the bathroom. I have a problem..."

                                                         -Ms. House, 1st Grade Teacher

"I remember the first day he walked in the school: he came in with his head held high and said "I gotta wiss. Where's the bathroom, dollface?" Our relationship ended two weeks later."

                                                                                            -Ms. Jayhe, Elementary School Principal

"hstreet was a bad apple. Some days he popped the basketball, other days he put baseballs in his pants, heck, once he even pantsed me in front of the principal. I hate that kid."

                                                                 -Coach Roy, Elementary School Coach

So you can see that I have a track record for being a bad. And in the words of Texas Ranger from Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, "you're s&#% out of luck" if you want to mentor me. But I do have good people skills and love long walks on the beach. Oh, wrong website.

Peace, love, and Mickey Mouse.

hstreet4cyyoung

Too many times have I not said something and then wished later I had said it. I was wondering the other day what would happen if I just spoke my mind to athletes? I can guess...

Ricky Williams: "How's Mary Jane been lately?"-Not only would there be a lot of laughs in the press room, but I probably would either get thrown out by security or been given the "cold shoulder" by Ricky. So I guess I can't really say what he would respond, because he wouldn't say anything.

Barry Bonds: "Do you juice your kids, too?"-Not exactly the nicest question, but I have always been curious. I probably would have gotten an answer like this: "[deep sigh and glaring stare]...yes." Just kidding, he probably would have said something like "next question" or "go away."

Michael Vick: "Who would win in a fight-The Underdog or Scooby Doo?"-That one would take a lot of courage on my part, because I know somewhere in the room Marcus Vick is hiding with a shank or something.

Michelle Wie: "Are you not trying or something, or do you always play this bad?"-I don't think she would know how to respond to this question, because if she answered "yes, I do always play this bad" then that would anwer a lot of questions, but if she answers "no" then it would be back to the drawing board.

Roger Clemens: "Have you been going through mid-life crisis for, like, the past 8 years?"-I think he has gotten so out of the groove that he would actually laugh along. I think the only person not laughing would be Joe Torre, because he knows that he would ripped by the media the next day for "not sticking up for his players."

Tiger Woods: "So, Tigger, I saw you in that Roger Federer commercial. Pretty sweet, dude. Oh, my bad, Tiger"-I have always just wanted to mispronounce his name. Tiger, as humble as he is, would probably just laugh along, too.

Roger Federer: "Do you get up in the morning and piss excellence?"-I had to incorporate something from Talledega Nights somewhere on here. I don't think Roger would understand what I am saying though, and then say something about either Bjorn Borg, Rafael Nadal, or Bud Collins.

George Steinbrenner: "So, you and Joe Torre are an item, now? Niiice..."-I think deep inside we have all wanted to say this. It would definetely explain why Joe is still working.

It's okay, guys, you'll get through this

There you have it, the things I really want to say to proffesional athletes.

They finally won again and the Angels lost! Oh, happy day! And now Oakland is only down 11 games! Wait, that isn't a good thing...

Will they come back from this enormous deficit? Well, there is one thing you can expect: they're going to get close.

Nick's concentration might have been somewhere else...

When you look at the A's you think: "Good pitching but bad hitting," which is completely correct. If you look at the team at the beginning of the year.

Through 95 games the A's are 45-50, their the only team other than the Red Sox that have given up less than 400 runs (391), and have players like Mike Piazza, Huston Street, Rich Harden, Justin Duchscherer, and Esteban Loaiza on the DL. Fortunately, they are all supposed to be coming back soon.

Mike Piazza has gone 7-17 on his rehab stint with AAA Sacramento River Cats, with one homer, two doubles, and 2 RBIs. He is supposed to return to the A's later this week.

Huston Street has one more pitching appearance on Saturday in the minors before he retuns to the A's bullpen on Monday, assuming all goes well.

Ditto with Huston

It seems that Rich Harden will be gone for a while, but what else is new?

Justin Duchscherer, too, shouldn't be returning any time soon (60 day DL).

Esteban Loaiza, who hasen't played at all in the MLB this season, is scheduled to make his first rehab start on either July 30 or 31. For Esteban, it will probably take three minor league starts before he is ready to start in the MLB.

So as you can see, the A's have 3 out of these 5 guys returning some time soon. Not to mention Kurt Suzuki (left) finally being able to start in place of Jason Kendall, bringing a better bat to the A's much-needed lineup.

The A's have statistically been the best team in the second half of the season for the past five seasons, so they will eventually make a big run. The biggest factor in the second half of the season is how the Angels and Mariners do.  

And finally, the trade deadline is approaching, which means that Billy Beane gets to do what he does best: trade. The same guy that traded away Mark Mulder for Kiko Calero and a guy named Dan Haren. The same guy that drafted Nick Swisher, Barry Zito, Joe Blanton, Tim Hudson, and Eric Chavez, just to name a few.

If you ask me, Oakland doesn't have much of a chance, with the Angels and surprisingly the Mariners. But you can expect them reach within 5 games of Angels some time during the season.