I have seen way too many posts written about each blogger's NFL predictions. Sure, I like seeing each person's point of view for the season, but I decided I would invent a new NFL prediction: which players will get into what trouble?

It perfectly fits, too, with Michael Vick and dogfighting, the NBA and Tim Donaghy, and last but not least the MLB and Barry Bonds. So now for each season I will predict for each division not the winning and losing teams, but rather the winning and losing players.

So without further ado, here they are:

NFC East:

Loser-Tony Romo: I am predicting that Romo's first 8 games he will have the highest QB Rating, Passing Yards, and Completion Percentage. And then the next game he will complete 11 passes of 37, with 4 INT, 0 TD, and a QB Rating of appr. 6.00. For this bad performance Carrie Underwood will dump him, launching Tony off the deep end. A few DUIs later Brad Johnson will be Dallas' starter.

Winner-Terrell Owens: How is he not making this list? This year TO will drop the first 7 passes thrown to him, mystically disappear for two weeks, and come back not only catching every ball thrown his way, but becoming Wade Phillips' coach's pet. Bold, I know, but it will happen.

NFC North:

Loser-Brett Favre: Brett isn't going to have a fun year. He will get arthritis in his right fingers after his first attempted throw of the first game of the year. Depression will eat away at his soul, until finally he is filed for theft of a local coffee shop. Then he will take a leave of absence to get his head together. While away, he will concoct a plan to get Mike Holmgren back in Green Bay. The only thing that will keep him from committing suicide in this most trying of times is the Bo Burnham videos on YouTube.

Winner-Jon Kitna: First of all, at the beginning of the season he will say something like this: "The Detroit Lions are the team to beat in the NFC North this year. Not only will we win the division, but we will make the playoffs, too. You know why? 'Cause we got a guy named Chad Johnson, baby, OCHO CINCO!" The next week: "I would publicly like to apologize to my teammate Calvin Johnson-it was an honest mistake." And you are asking "How does that make him a winner?" Because, frankly, it brings more media to the Lions; something they have been lacking since Barry Sanders left.

NFC South:

Loser-Gaines Adams: I don't see any positives for this guy heading into his rookie season: has to fill in for the Bucs' best defensive lineman since Warren Sapp left, has to play for a team who is led by Jeff "Clap-On, Clap-Off" Garcia, and coached by a guy whose facial expression is almost as scary as Bill Cowher's used to be.

Winner- Michael Vick: He will hire a big-time lawyer (a new one than the one he has), and while on trial his lawyer will something like "if the noose don't fit, you must acquit." Shockingly, the jury will rule him "Not Guilty" and he will play in the NFL this season. Some 20 years later he will write a book called If I Hurt Dogs.

NFC West:

Loser-Matt Leinart: His performance will be good, but the fact that he plays for the Cardinals sinks his battleship, here. Paris Hilton will finally return his phone calls, stating "Matt, like I can't see you anymore. Like, seriously, where did you go? I keep hearing your voice when I don't pick up your calls, and my assistant said that I was just hearing the answering machine. But, like, why would they have an answering machine when I, like, didn't ask you a question? I'm confused..." This one call will turn him mad, because Paris was his last hope of getting out of Arizona, but now that she won't help him, he's stranded in the hell that is "The AZ."

Winner-Dennis Green: He doesn't have to coach the Cardinals anymore. Whether he was fired or he resigned, it doesn't really matter, because now he gets out of a franchise that was made to lose. And remember, folks, "The Bears are what we thought they were!" 

So you see, instead of doing the ritual "Who's going to win the division?" predictions, why not be unique? What happened to Miss Independent? Seriously, what happened?

hstreet4cyyoung

I will have the AFC Edition posted some time between three days from now to next week.