Recently my mom and dad got mad at me for not going outside enough. Well, you can't blame me: I go to tennis from 9 to 2 every day. I live in Texas. When I get home I want to sit in the air conditioning and relax. I don't want to even think about my body or doing anything with it.

Basically I have to make an excuse of sitting on my butt from 2 to 10, and a few minutes ago I may have found one: Blogging is a sport. In fact, it does abide by the American Heritage Dictionary definition of the word "sport."

1. "Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively."

You know, my fingers are really getting a work out from all of this typing. That should definetely pass as physical activity.

As for the rules thing, that is easy to explain. Profanity, spam, racism, porn, etc. are frowned upon by all bloggers. Well, maybe not the bloggers, but the Man, at least. Any blogger could be expelled indefinetely for using "bad words" and "naughty pics."

2. "An active pastime; recreation."

Isn't literature the most famous piece of entertainment ever made? Blogging should be close enough to literaute to pass by this definition.

I guess I couldn't find another good definition, but at two should be enough to define a sport, right?

If that isn't enough then I have thought of another occurence that happens in the other "weenie sports" that include throwing things and hitting things: injuries. Sure, you can't tear your ACL typing on your computer, but you can, in fact, get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. Arthritis is another big boo-boo.

Ha! I laugh in the name of broken arms, strained wrists, and Achilles Tendon tears. Let the real players get the real injuries. And let the real athletes play the real sports! And I am not talking about baseball, football, or basketball. I am talking about blogging, where men and women are allowed.

You see that-a sport where men and women are equal. Blogging as a sport is already making society a better place.

So, now that we are on the map as athletes, where will we be seen? Best to tune into these channels for the best chance at seeing us at our own game:

• ESPN2-Seriously, what haven't they showed during the daytime slot? They have showed Darts, Poker, Cheerleading, Scrabble, Pool (yeah, not Billiards), Dog Shows, and a lot more humiliating sports. Maybe we will get lucky.
• GSN-They'll play anything nowadays. Since they have been moved out of cable TV, they would play anything that might get some people to watch.
• A&E-It's a long shot, but all of the crap they think they can pass as "entertainment" will someday bite them in the caboose. They will soon need a big-time show so they don't end up like GSN.
• ESPN8 (The Ocho)-Hopefully by the time this sport is developed as a sport ESPN will have listened to all the pleas from people about making "The Ocho." And, as we all know very well, "If it's almost a sport, it's on the Ocho!"

Thanks for reading, citizens. Hopefully some day my mom and dad will see this and stop getting mad at me.