It was four o'clock on a steamy Friday afternoon. I'd just put my dogs up on the old veneer desk, and pulled out the bottom drawer in search of some relief.

Ah, there it was, a half empty--- no, not a pessimist, just a realist--- bottle of Ol' Loudmouth. I found a half-clean glass, and was just pouring a slug, when she walked in. Living proof that angels do walk.

But, what was she doing walking into my dingy office on the wrong side of town? I'd find out soon enough, but right now my eyes were conducting inventory. Billowy, blonde hair? Check. Carolina blue eyes? Check. Getaway sticks, from hip to heel? Check. Rack? To there, and back? Check.

"Mr Hanner. Mr Hanner!" She interrupted me in mid gape.

I managed to close my mouth like a rusty hinge, and stammered out, "Yesss, can I help you out of something?... I, I mean, can I help you out, *or* something?"

She smiled, and my heart felt like the half of a popsicle that falls on a sidewalk in August. All drippy and melty.

"Yes, I hope you can. I'm looking for a dear friend that I have only seen once in the last three years. Oh, my name is Victoria. Victoria Lane, and I'm looking for a guy who just quit coming around."

'This guy better get his pulse checked', is what I was thinking, but, what I said was, "If anyone can find a deadbeat, it's me."

She smiled again, "Oh, he's no deadbeat. He's very popular with the ladies, and the guys."

"Well if he's that popular he shouldn't be hard to find," I murmered. "This cat got a name?"

"Yes. Dale. Dale Jr," she breathed.

"Oh, heck yeah, I've heard of him. He shouldn't be too hard to find."

"I didn't say that he was hard to find, just that he doesn't visit me anymore," she pouted.

"Let me tell you up front that I can find him, but I can't make him come see you, Miss Lane. That will be up to him."

I immediately saw that this is not what she wanted to hear, as her bottom lip started to tremble, and she blurted out, "It's all because of that damn cousin of his! He's the one who's keeping us apart! I wish he would just disappear!"

Oh great, here come the waterworks. Why am I such a sucker for a beautiful dame that can cry on cue? "OK, now don't cry. I have an associate that may know some people, that know some people that may be able to make the cousin disappear."

She sniffled, "Really? Who?"

"Shaft. Cam Shaft. He's a bad mo..."

"Shut yo mouth"

"Just talkin' 'bout Shaft."

She was smiling again, and it lit up my world like a state trooper's spotlight reflecting off the rearview mirror at midnight.

So, I finally got her turned around, and as I saw her walk out of the office I couldn't help thinking, 'I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.'

Now where to find Jr? Maybe I should start by crossing off the places where I know he won't be at. Like the gym, a team meeting, testing, or asking his fellow company drivers for advice. That narrows it down some.

This week all the stars and cars of NASCAR are playing a home game, as the All-Star race is held in the stock car capital of the world, Charlotte, NC.

The All-Star event can go either way, either real boring, or a wreckfest. It's usually the latter, as the best drivers in the world seem to lose their friggin' minds.

Which way will the wind blow this time? When the sun goes down, the green flag comes around. So get in. Strap in. Shut up. Hold on tight. Turn left. And don't bring back nothing but the steering wheel, son. This is the All-Star race.

That last paragraph is my prediction of what Larry McReynolds will say sometime before the race starts.

Lowes Motor Speedway had the best idea EVER. They brought in the greatest pro wrestler EVER, Ric Flair,--- WHOOO--- to do commercials, sell tickets, be the grand marshall, judge the burn-out competition, and generaly class up the place.

Makes perfect sense to partner with pro wrestling, after all they both have the same phantom rulebooks, and the officials will always look the other way for a fan favorite.

The burnout competition before the race has seven entrants this year, instead of the five they had last year. Also some 'lucky' fan gets to ride along with Kevin Harvick....as he power brakes the tires off his car.

Others judging the burnouts, along with The Nature Boy, include Randy Moss, country singing duo Montgomery, Gentry, and El Gordo...Jimmy Spencer. Biggest embarassment will be Darrell Waltrip trying to talk and do burnouts at the same time. Puleeze!

Jeff Gordon has three wins in his 15 All-Star races. Mark Martin, and HMS mate, Jimmie Johnson, have two wins, while Matt Kenseth and Ryan Newman each have one win in the All-star event.

In two All-Star races, Denny Hamlin has no top-10s. While his JGR teammate, Kyle Busch, has no top-10s in three starts. Dale Earnhardt Jr won it in his rookie year, as did Newman.

Friday May, 15 is Dale Earnhardt Day. The seven-time champ will be honored at DEI headquarters in Mooresville, NC.

JJ Yeley will be subbing for -----poor test taker--- Jeremey Mayfield for the next few races. Yeley can DNQ just as well as Mayfield can.

NASCAR is conducting a study to figure out why FOX TV's ratings are down by double digit margins. What could keep adults from watching a sporting event? Hmmm.

That's your assignment, loyal readers. What is the ONE thing that FOX needs to get rid of? No, not Hanahan.

This week finds the stars and cars of NASCAR close to home. They're just up the road in Darlington. That is one tough track. A snake of greasy, black asphalt set down admid the old cotton fields.

She stands silently on the sandy soil, weeping, waiting, as she's done since 1950, for the next group of men who think they can tame her. This will be the 106th try for the eager suitors. What makes them think they will be rewarded?

The famous, egg-shaped, oval was repaved before last year's race. Kyle Busch won that race, setting a new record for the fastest race at Darlington. The Rowdy one had led one lap total in his three previous starts here.

Tony Stewart has also led just one lap total....in his last nine races here. Kasey Kahne has won three poles in his six Darlington starts. There hasn't been a winner from the pole since Dale Jarrett did it back in 1997.

Kurt Busch has one top-5 in 12 races here. I think he'll improve on that Saturday night. Denny Hamlin has been in three races here, and leads all active drivers with a 6.3 average finishing position.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has finished 11th, or better in his last six Darlington starts. Will this be where he gets back on track? Nah. John Andretti needs to run 168 laps to have completed 100,000 in his career. At his present rate of start-and-parking, he'll reach that milestone in October.... of 2011.

Best guy, AJ Allmendinger, will have Best Buy aboard his #44 RPM Dodge this week. Denny Hamlin will be protected with Farm Bureau Insurance on the #11 Toyota. Is it just me, or does Denny seem like he pouts a lot?

Star Trek, The Movie, returns on David Stremme's #12 on Saturday. Alas, no warp speed, Captain. The #99, of Carl Edwards will be carrying 'Up', The Movie. Damn! A movie. I was hoping 'Up' was what he was going to do with that damn duck.

Guess who is currently leading all three NASCAR  series in wins. That's Sprint Cup, Nationwide, and Camping World trucks. RA6AN probably knows this one.

Dear Mom...

Thought I'd let you know that I really appreciate the sacrifices, and unconditional love you always gave me. I never told you back when I was a kid. Now I'm telling you publicly, I love you. Sure, I say it at the end of our phone calls, or on a card, but I really do mean it.

You were always the one who had to haul me to my baseball games and practices. You did this while raising my three brothers and one sister too. I know now that you couldn't have had a lot of free time, yet you still made sure I made it to the field. All of this for a smart-aleck kid who wishes that his talent level approached his dreams.

Dad was always working, leaving five kids and a household for you to handle. So, you seldom had time to attend my games, but when you did I was so proud. All the other kids always said I had the prettiest Mom in the stands. I was also very proud of you when the other mothers talked you into playing first base on their softball team. Well, maybe a cross between pride and embarassment, but I was only 11.

Mom, I also wanted to say I'm sorry for any troubles or worries that I've brought you. I'm OK, don't worry about me. Thanks for everything. You're the best mother a guy could have.

Happy Mother's Day!

 Love, Gene

This is an encore post for my Mom.

When I became interested in NASCAR---- back before cable TV---- David Pearson was my favorite driver. Primarily because it seemed like everyone else was a Richard Petty fan.

I wasn't interested in being another sheep on the bandwagon, so I chose Pearson. All the wins he had, with Petty finishing second, were sweet. Pearson was getting out of the Cup series in the early 1980s, so I began looking for a new favorite driver.

In the mid-80s NASCAR's popularity was exploding with ESPN televising most of the races. Dale Earnhardt was the larger than life hero. Once again I chose the other guy. Tim Richmond was also exploding across the NASCAR skyscape. Like a brilliant supernova, he burned out much too soon.

Richmond's replacement driver in the #25 Folgers Chevy in 1988 was Ken Schrader. I'd been impressed with Schrader ever since he won Rookie of the Year in 1985 driving for an underfunded Junie Donlavey team.

Schrader won his first Cup race in 1988 at the Die Hard 500 in Talladega. Running fourth on the last lap, he made some bold moves to get by the other three drivers, including some cat named Earnhardt.

He went on to finish 5th in points in 1988 with 17 top-10s in 29 starts. He also won the Daytona 500 pole position for what would be the first of three straight years.

In 1989 Schrader again was 5th in points, and collected another win. In 1990 Kodiak came on as Schrader's new sponsor. The 1991 season saw Schrader earn his final two victories in the Cup series.

1994 was Schrader's highest points finish, as he ended up in 4th place with 18 top-10s. Budwieser became the primary sponsor in 1995, and 1996 would be Schrader's last season in the iconic, red, #25 Bud Chevy.

He raced for Andy Petree in the Skoal Bandit #33 for the next three years before moving on to the #36, MB2, M&Ms Pontiac for three years. His last full season in Cup was 2006.

He earned over 35 million in the Cup series, in 732 starts. He also had two wins in the NNS, and one win in the truck series. Schrader has 10 ARCA wins in his 37 starts in that series, and 3 top-5s in his five IROC races.

Schrader hit the ground running on May 29, 1955 when he was born in Fenton, MO. Everyone's heard the story about how his dad tied a go-kart to a post in the back yard so a little, three year old, Kenny could ride around in circles until he ran out of gas.

"I guess you could say that I have been dizzy ever since," Schrader said. "I really don't think it is an exaggeration when I say that racing is all I've ever known. I've been racing since I could walk, and it is really all I have ever wanted to do. To be honest, I would race everyday if I had the opportunity."

He started racing go-karts for real in the 1960s before moving up to sprint cars in the early 70s. He became the USAC stock car ROY in 1980. He was the USAC Silver Crown champ in 1982, and the USAC Sprint Car champ in 1983.

In 1983 he also went to Indy. He practiced fast enough to make the field, but, with no back up car, a wreck kept him from qualifying for the Indy 500 in what turned out to be his only chance.

Schrader now races over 80 times a year across North America. He's won races in every state except one. Rhode Island, your next! He also owns I-55 Raceway in Pevely, MO, and co-owns Macon Speedway in Illinois.

"I want to spend my time racing," Schrader said. "It's not only my job, but it's also my hobby. I love the time that I get to spend behind the wheel, and as long as I can, I'm going to race whenever I get the chance."

Schrader and his wife Ann have two children, Dorothy and Sheldon, and they reside in Concord, NC where he operates Ken Schrader Racing.

Kenny Schrader never won the NASCAR Cup championship, but he's still a hero, and I'm sure a lot of you will agree that he's always been a champion to the fans.

Ken Schrader quotes are courtesy of Ken Schrader Racing.