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Super StarWow. I couldn't make the Sweet 16 in the NGS writing about one subject at a time, and now I have to multitask. Fortunately I was able to corral two of my multiple personalities and set them to work, each on their own assignment. Here are the results of hours of exhaustive research. Okay, a few minutes of hastily compiled web searches.
First things first. I think everyone would agree we've all given some thought to what athlete's spouse is the hottest. Admit it, when you saw the writing assignment you immediately had an idea about who you were going to nominate. Oh sure, you did some research, just to make certain there weren't any new entries into the field of athletic spouses that you missed, and also to spend some time checking out the pics, but you knew all along who you were going to name.
For me, it's easy, even if it is an obvious choice. Tiger Woods is a guy who has it all, including a blonde-Swedish-model-nanny wife with a twin! Even for a world-famous golfer with more money than most third-world countries, Tiger had to be wondering just how much misery he's going to have to endure in his next life to pay for his good fortune in this one when Elin Nordegren agreed to accompany him down the aisle.
Addressing the second portion of this assignment becomes a little more difficult. Why should I advance in this competition? Most of you have read at least a little of my stuff, so I can't reasonably expect to garner the sympathy vote. You know I haven't recently been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, haven't lost my job, am reasonably well-adjusted as far as you know. Result: Sympathy is out.
I can't claim to be a better writer than everyone else, since everybody seems to be pretty darn good. Love sports. Yep. So does everyone else here. Can string words together pretty good sometimes. Yep. So can everyone else here. Result: Superiority is out.
What are we left with? I could be better-looking than some of the other entrants in Detroitsports' competition, but who can say? Besides, that stuff is in the eye of the beholder, and if I lost in the first round based on that criteria, I might have to break all the mirrors in my house which would make it really hard to shave. Result: Good looks are out.
I guess it comes down to this. I'm a really nice guy. In my junior-high yearbook, when they picked a song to go with each kid's personality, mine was James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend." I was the guy in high school all the girls wanted to talk to about their problems with their boyfriends. Date me? No. Talk to me? Yes. I was the kid every girl wanted to bring home to their mom, then say see you later to when they went off with their real date.
So there it is. Keep me in the competition because I'm just an all-around good guy. If that doesn't work I could resort to begging, but I'd like to retain a little dignity. Plus I want to save the begging as an option in case I make it past this round.