Well since West Virginia just ruined my hopes for an Orange Bowl visit, I'm a bit cranky.  Here's a few pet peeves.

Instant Replay- Game after game announcers laud the instant replay system.  "It's important to get it right," we hear the talking heads say again and again.   As a resident of the state where the mythical Sopranos once roamed, I say, "Fuhgedaboudit!"  I've been to three games this year, all televised on either ABC or ESPN.  It seems like every play gets reviewed now, even plays that no one would think of challenging.  So this takes tons of time.

"So what?", the perfectionists say. " We must be perfect and ensure that every call is correct."  Why?  Exactly what else about football is supposed to be perfect?  Certainly not the ball.  Try rolling a football straight some time.   Where I played sports, we were taught that the officials were part of the playing field, and you should expect the lucky bounce, the bad hop, the freak play once in a while.  As long as they are honest and experienced why do they have to be perfect?

"Because so much is at stake!" bray the perfectionists.  Ah, yes the dreaded game changing call.  But we're losing something else with all these replays.  Has anyone stopped to consider the emotional and physical effect on the teams of these frequent stoppages?  Here you are driving for a touchdown, adrenaline flowing , defense on their heels, apparently huge play and then!  .   .    .    .     . five minutes of watching a zebra huddle.  In a game where coaches will use one of three precious timeouts just to make a kicker stand on the field for an extra 30 seconds, how come no one cares when both teams stand around for minutes?  And are these timeouts so precious now?  Not when you can expect to have your QB trot over to the sideline an extra what? 7-8 times per game?

Now I'm not naive enough to think that the powers that be give a flying football about the fans.  I mean really, who cares if we have to sit there and watch this charade.  But it's also boring as hell. 

The goal of perfection, as far as officiating is concerned, will never be attained.  Witness, UConn/Louisville's phantom fair catch signal.  Ah, that's "not reviewable."  What? A call that's so egregious, the head of the conference apologizes to the losing team?  So where's the perfection in that? Or there's the famous, "Yeah he did fumble but the play was blown dead."  If you really wan't perfection, set the whole thing up like a big TV show, review everything when it happens, correct all the mistakes and show us a "perfect" game on tape.  Maybe that's the way we're going, we'll have the whole thing scripted and it will be a new kind of TV show.  Reality or virtual sports we can call it.  Me, I'd rather just watch a real football game, with real players, real officials and a real football that gives you those crazy bounces when you roll it.

TV timeouts- At Rutgers Stadium, the miscreant that calls these is dressed in referee pants, hat and a red shirt.  After enduring way too many five minute play stoppages for the benefit of the networks, I have been tempted to charge the field and deliver a savage high hit to this individual, including the illegal hands to the head.  I'm amazed that I could pick this guy out.  I remember reading that in the early 60's when NFL games first started getting televised, the fans figured out who was calling TV timeouts and started pelting them with trash.  The networks actually had to disguise these guys for their own safety.  Hey, here's an idea!  Can we save the TV timeouts for instant replay reviews? I'm being foolish.  No one cares about what the fan wants.

Commentator Jargon- Here on the banks, we're now accepting nominations for the most overused piece of commentator jargon, cliche or just stupid remark.  I'll start it off with my favorite. "That running back really runs downhill!"  Really?   Well so do I and I'm 6'4" and about  270.  Does this mean he runs uphill after the change of sides at the quarter?  And I always thought coaches were concerned about the wind when choosing which side to defend.  Seems the wind here is coming from every commentator who wants to discuss a back who runs between the tackles.  Looking forward to your nominations!