Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very high up.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that towel,"

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

Once upon a time, long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready
for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four
of his elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce the
toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were
out, heaven knows where. More Stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked
and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee
and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found
the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went
to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was
made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the
door. He opened the door and there was a cute little angel with
a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you
like me to put this tree Santa?"

And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of
the Christmas tree....