As a lifelong fan of the Tar Heels and resident of the great state of NC, I've heard every comment that can be made regarding game officials handing this or that game to the Heels. While some folks think laying the blame on officials is a fairly new hobby, I can assure you it's been going on for decades. With that in mind, I've taken a little history, a little imagination, and a huge dose of satire to explain to the non-Tar Heel heathen why we get "all the calls".

At UNC, we started the tradition of purchasing the "friendly" services of game officials in the 1910 season. Realizing that Kentucky had already been playing for nine years, and we had some catching up to do. The well entrenched tradition continued under Coach Frank McGuire, but UNC made up little ground on Kentucky, as the great coach and basketball innovator Adolph Rupp had already invented the "Hunnert Dollar Handshake", a play still used with some success in Div 1 basketball, though inflation has changed the handoff to a degree.

In 1953 UNC split from the Southern Conference and founded the ACC, knowing that less prestigious schools who had no "ref slush" would want to join and be helpless without the assistance of the striped mercenaries. The 1957 Tar Heels proved the value of ref slush by completing an undefeated, National Championship season. Since then, UNC has been known on the street as "The Zebra Tamers"

Dean Smith's contribution to college basketball, in addition to the Four Corners offense, was the "Four Finger Slip", elaborating on and magnifying the effect of the Hunnert Dollar Handshake. "The Dean" specialized in teaching fundamentals and using simple principles such as The Four Finger Slip and The Four Corners. His attention to "detail" produced 879 victories, two National Championships and eleven Final Four appearances, and other records too numerous to mention.

Dean taught the Four Finger Slip to little Roy Williams, who proceeded to amass the most wins in a decade by a program when he took the helm at Kansas. Roy has recorded the best winning percentage of any active coach(.809), coached more thirty win seasons(8), and won at least 1 game in the NCAA tournament a record  straight seasons and counting.  While all this was immensely satisfying to Roy, the elusive National Championship maddeningly evaded him.

Roy Williams returned home to Chapel Hill in 2003 and immediately refined the Four Finger Slip, developing it into the Run and Fund. In only his second season using the Run and Fund, Roy's 2005 Tar Heels collected the program's fourth National Championship.

Since Roy's return to Chapel Hill, in six years he has gone 176-37, for an .826 win percentage, with two Second Rounds, one Elite Eight, one Final Four, and two National Championships in the NCAA. Continued development of the Run and Fund should have UNC at the top of the college basketball world for the foreseeable future.