Here's another one.

NEW YORK–Michael Grippo, a 95-year-old Bronx native, told reporters Wednesday that he is "worried sick" that he won't live to see the Yankees win another 27 World Series titles. "We came so close in 1955, 1960, 1976, 2001, and 2004. If we had won just one of those, that would have been 27 right there," said Grippo, adding that while he was in attendance for Tommy Henrich's walk-off homer in 1949, Don Larson's perfect game in 1956, and Mickey Mantle's game-ending home run in 1964, none of it will matter if the Yankees don't win at least another 27 World Series championships. "I'll say this, if we could take home 27 championships just one more time, my soul will rest easy." Grippo said that, if nothing else, he hoped his six children and 21 grandchildren would get to see the Yankees win just 1,396 more World Series in their lifetimes.

PS. THE YANKEEEEEES SUCK.

Nothing from the Onion is true but most of their articles are funny.

SAN DIEGO—Denver running back Knowshon Moreno spent a portion of the Broncos' game against the Chargers Monday night asking team managers if there was anything to drink on the sidelines other than Gatorade. "I'm sick of Gatorade all the time, and I don't want water," said Moreno, who was observed asking a sideline reporter drinking a ginger ale if she "[got] that here or someplace else." "I could definitely go for a Pepsi right now. There's got to be some Pepsi around here. Isn't the NFL sponsored by Pepsi or something?" Later, during a fourth-quarter drive, Moreno reportedly asked his teammates if they wanted a beverage before leaving the field and disappearing into the stands.

From The Onion...