CHICAGO, Illinois.  Top college prospect Adam Welkin ended months of speculation today as he signed a national letter of intent to attend the University of Chicago, a school with a storied football past but virtually no present or future.

"This one's for my momma," Welkin said as he pulled a maroon hat bearing the letter "C" from behind his back and put it on.  "I'm gonna bring the Heisman back to Chi-town!"  Jay Berwanger, a 1935 graduate of the school, was the first winner of the Heisman Trophy.

Welkin was rated a "five star" prospect by Scout.com based on his AP scores in Latin, physics, calculus, chorus and home room.  He received offers from Stanford, Miami, Harvard, Texas and Middlebury, among others. 

Chicago was an original member of the Big 10 but dropped out in 1946 when the school began to emphasize academics over undergraduate student life.  It is regularly one of the top five colleges nationwide under the WPS Power Rankings.  "WPS" stands for "worst party schools" and the measure rates colleges based on a combination of factors including lowest consumption of beer and highest percentage of National Honor Society presidents among female students.

Welkin was ecstatic about the treatment he received from the U of C as a highly sought-after recruit.  "They had me and all the other top prospects in for a lecture at the Oriental Institute and they fixed me up with a girl who was a real eye-opener."  Asked to explain, Welkin said the young woman knew more about 19th century French novelists than many professors at other colleges he visited.

Football was banned at the U of C in the 1950's by its then-president, Robert Maynard Hutchins, famous for saying "Whenever I get the urge to exercise I lie down until it goes away."  The game was restored to campus in the late '60's, but Hutchins did not get up from his couch as he had fallen asleep.  He died in 1977.

The school's motto is "Quatenus delectatio defungo," Latin for "Where Fun Comes to Die."

Copyright 2006, Con Chapman