DEERFIELD BEACH, Florida.  In a deal brokered by the Children's Television Workshop, producers of Sesame Street, fight promoter Don King today acquired the rights to the letters "W" and "B" in a move that will tighten his control over the world of professional boxing.

"Those letters are mine now," the flamboyant King said at a press conference.  "Anybody touches 'em I'll whup his sorry ass."

Professional boxing has numerous sanctioning bodies, including the WBA, the WBO, the WBC, the IBF, and the IFBA, leading to complaints that the "alphabet soup" of competing organizations confuses fans and depresses interest in the sport known as the "sweet science".

Sesame Street has been sponsored by various letters of the alphabet over the years, and when King sent out a feeler to acquire W and B, the letters most commonly used by boxing federations, the symbols jumped at the opportunity.

"I am pleased to be associated with Mr. King," W said to reporters after the press conference.  "I worked with Sesame Street for a long time, and all I got out of it was a lousy PBS tote bag.  Now maybe I'll make some real money."

King's acquisition effectively means that sanctioning groups will be beholden to him.  His company, Don King Productions, already has contracts with over 100% of all professional boxers, leading to concern he is gaining too much influence over the fight game.

In 1966 King was found guilty of second-degree murder by a Cleveland jury after he pistol-whipped a man to the ground and then kicked his victim repeatedly in the head.  King has turned his life around since then, working with social service agencies to impoverish boxers he promotes, creating clients for them.

King was joined at the press conference by several Sesame Street characters, and temporarily dropped his guard in the atmosphere of good feeling that Cookie Monster, Snuffleupagus and Bert and Ernie always generate.  "Get that Big Bird away from me," King said at one point, "or I'll cook him in my George Foreman Jumbo Grill!"

Copyright 2005, Con Chapman