His mother knew that I had been a goaltender when I played. But after several knee injuries and retiring from the game I love I walked away clean. No skating. I didn't watch much on television (except for the old North Stars vs. Blackhawks playoff series) and pretty much stayed away from it. For almost 10 years my involvment in hockey was minimal, at best, until her son told her he wanted to be a goalie. She asked me if I would be willing to help him out a little. After a lot of thought I agreed on the stipulation that it was alright with his Squirt coach.

I actually worked with his Squirt coach so one day at lunch I walked over and explained the situation to him. He was all for it as long as I would work with his other goaltender as well. I agreed and that is basically the story of how I was re-introduced to the game of hockey and to coaching it. We had a lot of fun that year, my two goaltenders and myself, and the game began to mean more to me than just as a former player. I could impart knowledge and experience and kids listened. Well at least this one did.

We practiced stance (nothing happens for a goaltender without the proper stance) and we practiced skating drills. We worked on save moves and recoveries. We worked on rebound control and covering pucks. Over the next few years we worked on all aspects of goaltending. As I instructed and explained the why or why nots or maybe so's of goaltending to him he worked his butt off and he was becomming quite a good little goalie. He was having a lot of success at his age level and his mom and step-dad asked me what was next. I told them he should consider a camp where he might get some exposure and learn a little bit more about the position from someone other than me. Get a different perspective.

They found a camp and it was being run by Vladislav Tretiak. For those of you not familiar with hockey, Tretiak was the goaltender on the Russina Red Army team that waltzed through International competition and hammered NHL All-Star teams more than a few times. He is the goalie who was benched in the 1980 United States game after giving up a goal in the last second of the first period to enable the U.S. to go into the intermission tied. The U.S. eventually won that game. The movie "Miracle" with Kurt Russell is based on ths story. Tretiak ran a great camp. The mom and step-dad asked if I would go with the young boy to this camp and I did. And after on ice sessions and video sessions we would talk about what he was learning. For me, I got to meet the great Tretiak which was an immense honor to me.

The following summer this young man returned to that camp with a goal in mind. He wanted to try out for a team that went to Norway to compete in a series of hockey games there. At the end of the camp, which also served as a tryout for this team, this youngster had made the team. He competed 30 other goaltenders in his age group and was selected in the top two. Quite an accomplishment. His parents, and I were very proud of him. My wife and I. always wanting to make a trip to Norway as her mom was from there, accepted an invitation to accompany this young man, his mom, and his sister to Norway. Of course, we paid our own way but we got to do what each of us wanted to do. I got to watch a lot of hockey and she got to see where her mom was from. The hockey team and the young goalie had a successful trip and we enjoyed Oslo, Furuset and a couple of other Norwegian towns. The following summer the young goalie made a return trip to Norway and a series of events happened that altered this relationship.

His mom and step-dad kept asking what he should do to keep getting better. I told them that at some point in time he should get out of his comfort zone, where he was incredibly successful, and play against tougher competition. Try out for teams in the summer where he was going to be challenged. Quit playing on teams where he is alweays the number one goalie going in. Get him somewhere that he would be challenged and forced to increase his skills by competition. Their first move was to send him back to Tretiak's camp where he went to Norway for a third time. They then bought a conversion van and fitted the back of it with a bed. Not for any hanky panky but so thae young goalie had somewhere to lay his head when they went to Tretiak's Elite Goalie Camp in Toronto (invite only don't you know!) But he wasn't getting better.

About this time I was called at home one evening by the new head coach at the high school. He wanted to buy me dinner and talk to me about a position on his staff. We had talked a couple of times before but at dinner we really got into talking hockey, philosphies, goaltending and families and had a great dinner. He offered me a position on his staff wherein my main responsibilities would be the goalies. I told him I need to speak to my wife because if I couldn't commit fully to it he should find someone else as that would be fairest to the kids. But after a lengthy conversation with her I called him up and accepted (we go into our 10th season this year) his offer. My next task was to speak with this young goalie and his family because he would be entering the high school program at the same time I did. I explained to them that my role in the relationship would change because I now had youth goalies to work with still and now had the high school goalies, ALL OF THEM, to be responsible for. They were just glad I was going to be around.

He played J.V. that year and that is when the issues started. He started pouting about playing J.V. and telling people he was good enough to be the varsity starter. We took a team that had a senior goaltender with one period of varsity of experience as our starter on varsity, a sophomore with incredible athleticism as our varsity back-up, and went to the state tournament for the first time in years at ths school. The mom, step-dad and young man were angry that we did not include him on our tournament roster. Even after talking and explaining to them that he was young and was not, contrary to their beliefs, ready to step in and face varsity competiton. We explained to them again that during the summer he should tryout for a team that will sharpen his skills and prepare him for that kind of competiton.  That summer he played in a Bantam elite program. Bantams come before J.V. hockey. It is not somoething you play in if you are going to get ready to compete for a starting job as a varsity hockey player.

However, after tryouts for the high school team in his sophomore year he made the varsity squad as the back-up. Backing up varsity hockey as a sophomore is no small feat in itself so I felt he was right where he neede to be. As the back-up to varsity and to stay sharp in case he needs to play I have my varsity backup play a lot of J.V. games. This did not sit well with the parents who started rumbling that their child was getting screwed. The mom went to the Athletic Director, clearly against the policy we have where we want the kid to talk to us about things if they have issues. He never did. We had to have a meeting with the A.D. and the parents to explain our situation and where we saw him at that time. All appropriate and above board. We again explained that he neede to play J.V. and control those games. We were informed that he couldn't play J.V. games because there was no one in the stands. We told her that people in the stands should be the last concern for her and her son. He needed to show the coaching staff he could be called on to do the job if need be. We left the meeting just as we went in and told mom that he was starting the J.V. game the next night.

The following night the J.V. game started and was about 1/2 over when this player came into the building. I didn't speak to him as I was watching the other goalie play. He dressed and went out for varsity warm-ups but I also dressed the young goalie that did play the J.V. game. As luck would have it, our opponent that night hammered us. A couple of minutes into the third period we changed goalies. My head coach told me to make a decision. I looked down the bench and there were 18 sets of eyes looking at me. I put in the kid who played the J.V. game. Immediately you could hear a scream from the stands, some swearing and yelling, and I knew it was going to get worse after the game. After the game I told this young man that I was disappointed but that I would speak to him about it before practice the next day. The 24 hour rule.

When I walked into the locker room the kids asked me where his equipment was. I obviously had no idea and went about getting ready for practice. As I was wlking out to the rink this player and his brother in-law were walking up to me. He told me he quit and walked out of the building as I was asking him to talk about it. I couldn't pursue him as I was on skates and he was on concrete floor and I had a practice to get to. They timed it well. That evening I called his home several times only to get the answering machine. I left message after message with no reply. A few days later I was informed that we were being sued by the parents for discriminating against their son. This was eventually tossed out before it gathered much speed by a local judge who chastized their attorney for wasting court time.

He transferred to another school, sat out the rst of his sophomore year and played varsity for the other school the next two years. He backed up his entire junior season at the new school and was their starter when he was a senior. A little sick humor here. We never won a game against him. He beat us twice in his senior season. His step-dad would sit up in the stands and everytime he made a big save he would scream at our bench and call us a lot of names. Were I related to them I would have been extremely embarrassed. What a wacked twist that would be.

Wait a minute! I am related to them. The mom here is my sister. The young man is my nephew. A lot of his freinds stayed with our program and played for us. Through them I learned what I had long suspected. Whenever my nephew had a less than stellar performance his step-dad ripped him.  When ever he didn't want to go to this camp or that camp he was told that all of the oney they put into his hockey wasn't going to go to waste. For a long time I thought I had done something really wrong here and I struggled with it. Eventually I accepted the fact that it wasn't so much me but them. His new coach confirmed ths to me when he said he didn't feel right about putting my nephew up for all conference because he really didn't deserve it but if he didn't my sister would be all over him. I told him that I felt for him but it wasn't my problem anymore.

The sad thing about all of this is that it has gone way beyond hockey. My sister, nephew and niece talk to me only when someone is very ill or has died in my family. Then they act like everything is great between us for the benefit of toher family members. It has gotten to the point that I just tell them to quit it. It is hypocritical and almost all of the family knows there are issues. I tried for a long time to reconcile this situation but have met with resistence by them and now I just go about my business. He quit playing hockey right after high school. His buddies tell me he hates the game and that saddens me. Hopefully one day he will find it and return to it as I did. His parents lost perspective and the pressure they put on the son was horrible. I have searched my conscience, weighed my responsibilites to family and program and feel I approached things in a calm, civil and professional manner. Maybe one day all will see that and maybe they will not. Maybe we will all reconcile one day and maybe we won't. What a sad twist!

Coaching is what I love to do. With kids who are success stories or with kids who are not, bottom line, end of the day, I try my best. Sometimes the rewards are sweet and at other times it leaves a bitter pill to swallow. But I love it and I want to keep doing it as long as I can.