I WANNA BE A SPORTS AGENT.

I woke up this morning and as I was pouring my first cup of coffee I glanced at the paper and saw an article that was titled, Agent: Gaborik left with no choice but arbitration. I read the article and decided that I am in the wrong line of work.  If I were a sports agent I could do outlandish things that effect peoples lives on a daily basis. I could be controversial and force people to restructure entire business plans on my say so. And I wouldn't even have to be an employ of the firm that I could do this to. How awesome is that? And then when they wouldn't I could just tell them that my client will hold out, not honor their contract, and you will suffer, not my client.

This guy, Mark Hume McCormack, has been given credit for being the first real sports agent. He was the Founder and Chairman of International Management Group, now IMG, an international management organization that handles the commercial affairs for sports figures and celebrities.  McCormack was described as one of the most powerful men in sports. His clients included sports figures Tiger Woods, Pete Sampras, Michael Schumacher, Derek Jeter, Charles Barkley and models Kate Moss and Elizabeth Hurley. He published numerous books, including the bestselling What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School. This guy had it figured out. His firt client was legendary golfer Arnold Palmer. Not only did he get to meet and represent fmous people he ade a ton of dough in the meantime. When he died in 203 his family sold off his portion of IMG for $750 milion bucks.

Now that is some successful career. Managing peoples lives and directing what they should do and what they shouldn't do. And look at his client list. With the exception of Barkley, whose mouth knows no bounds, and Moss, who had a little bit of a drug problem, this looks like the beginning of a Who's Who in the sports world. Sorry all of you Elizabeth Hurley fans out there. Isn't her claim to fame that she is the one Hugh Grant cheated on with a hooker? Woods, Sampras, Jeter! No controversy there. He made them millions with endorsements on top of their playing salaries. No wonder this guy had it so good. But if I'm controlling things maybe I want controversy. Maybe I want to be like this next guy.

Drew Rosenhaus is among the best known American football sports agents. He owns the Miami-based sports agency, Rosenhaus Sports, and is known for aggressive representation of his NFL clients, often generating highly lucrative contracts for them, and recommending that they hold out from practicing or playing when his contractual terms are not met by NFL owners. His approach to player representation has been sometimes controversial, and is a source of great debate in NFL circles. Due to his aggressive dealings, some of Rosenhaus' competitors claim Rosenhaus sometimes violates NFL Player's Association (NFLPA) rules by illegally contacting clients signed with other agents. Rosenhaus and his clients deny this charge. His competitors also claim that Rosenhaus uses players to vigorously recruit other NFL players and prospects, which, if true, also would represent a violation of NFLPA policies. However, there have been no formal findings of violations by Rosenhaus. 

Maybe that is what I want to do. Stir up the pot. Make my client the most hated S.O.B. in their respective sport so that they can continually apologize for their behaviors and actions while we laugh all the way to the bank. I want to have my clients sign big, long term contracts one year and then tell their organization the next year that my client wants to renegotiate that contract. Something about the last one just wasn't right. I don't know, not enough money. Not enough say in player personnel. I don't like that guy and he makes more than my client. My client needs to see the ball on 90% of plays from scrimmage. My client needs to have guaranteed playing time even if he is only hitting .198 with no HR's and 1 RBI in 75 at bats. Maybe we will wait for the organization to make numerous offers to us and then we will not respond to any of them. And then I will go to the local paper where my client performs their services and comment that we have no choice but arbitration because the club has left us that as our only alternative. Why not?

What started all of this was the aforementioned article that deals with Marion Gaborik and the Minnesota Wild. The agent is willing to turn this into an ugly and drawn out negotiation. Of course, like coments from the attorneys in the Duke lacrosse scandal, we will never know who is telling us what. Ron Salcer is Gaborik's agent. Apparently Wild GM Doug Risebrough has made two different offers to Salcer to which Salcer has ot replied. Well, lets say he has not replied to Risebrough. Instead he contacts the Minneapolis Star Tribune or St. Paul Pioneer Press and tells them that the Wild are leaving he and his client no option but arbitration. Risebrough say he wants to sign Gaborik to a contract that both parties can be happy with. Timing is an issue.

Gaborik is eligible to file for arbitration on July 4. He can become a restricted free agent on July 1. Also on July 1 the NHL salary cap is expected to increase to about $45 million. The maximum NHL salary will increase from roughly $7.8 million to around $9 milion. According to Salcer, That's very factual. If they choose not to have discussions with us because they are looking to get him at what I think is a bargain price, then that's not going to happen." Gaborik is considered an elite player in the NHL. It is recognized by many, and pointed out by Sacer, that Gaborik plays in a defensive system with the Wild and still scores 30 goals a year. The Wild last offered  5 years at $5.5 million a year.

Can you see why I want to be a sports agent? Look at the havoc I could reap on the spreadsheet of an NHL franchise that has to sign my client and had better start getting some people who can score to help this team get into the playoffs. They have enough pressure on them without me. But, hey, my client comes first. That and my 3% - 10% of whatever I can get him. Show us the money. But, hey, even if you do we probably going to want more next year, just so's you know!

Actually, I could never be a sports agent. I used to work in the collection department of a finance company. I found out I had a conscience. Beside that I love teaching kids and coaching them. I'll take them while they are young and when they are eager to learn, both, in the classroom and in the athletic arena. I will try and help their parents instill values and integrity in them as well as to develop their skills. I will encourage them to work hard, study hard and get the most from their experiences. And I will hope that some of that stays with them if they ever get to the point where they are a  professional athlete or singer or actor. And I will hope that all that they have learned will eventually make them realize that loving the game and respecting the people around them will win over the greed and egos and questionable business practices of those they may chose to represent them. I'm sure not all sports agents are scumbags and neither are all GM's. But there are enough of them out there that are that make me worry about the lost lessons of their youths and those that they represent.

(Sources for this came from wikipedia and the Minneapolis Star Tribune.)