A few messages to certain NBA players during these wonderful playoffs....

To Kenyon Martin...dude, you've been hobbling around on one leg all season. Your playing against a team that has one of the biggest bruisers in the game today...I'm talking a 270 pound rebounding machine that loves mixing it up in the paint. If Furious George suggests you sit, and you can't go full bore in practice against the likes of Eduardo Najera and Francisco Elson...what makes you think you can play against Elton (MVP candidate) Brand and Chris (Will Eat Your Children) Kaman??? I guess you'll be resting now, huh?

To Kobe...24?...Your popularity is at a full upswing. The fans have come back in your corner and your jersey is one of the best selling this year because of your stellar play. Need I remind you that the fans shelled out no less than 40 bucks for that said jersey? Should I also remind you that that jersey has a big number "8" on it? For all the cheap ass, broke ass, rabid NBA fans everywhere that assess a player's "moveability" to another team before he/she purchases a certain jersey I ask you...why change your number now???

To Lebron...Welcome to the NBA Playoffs. You didn't think it would be as easy as it was in your first playoff game did ya? 10 turnovers...a handful of bad mistakes...and a loss at home to the Washington (Since when have they been known for defense?) Wizards. Here's to wishing you don't make out of the first round and have to play the Pistons next!

To Brent Barry...C'mon man...you know you wanna do it...just take your middle finger, raise it up, and walk up to Coach Pop and say, "So ya still wanna trade me now for an unproven player on a crappy team!!!???"...and then run over and give Manu a kiss for the sweet assist, and Timmy a big hug for the pick.

To Jalen Rose...You held your gameface, and kept it going through your segment while getting pelted by a barrage of towels from Nick Van Exel. Kudos....now lets see how well you do with a drunk ass Joe Nameth hanging all over you, telling you how pretty you are in a slurred, slobbered filled drawl.

Say what? Another blog competition? This time, revolving around the world of basketball? Well hot damn! I'm in. Lemme see, the last time this went on, I had no idea we were revolving around the world of football. So there I was, writing nothing but NBA articles. (I guess this time, I'll read the rules!)

And I'm honored and not just sucking up this time, but I've been a religous Dime Magazine supporter for quite sometime now. The guys at Dime actually stopped responding to my various emails....I guess I bugged 'em that much! It's cool that they are in on this too now. So the Flimflam man is back. Ready to kill your eyes with my many ramblings about the only time of the year where everything else is futile....The NBA playoffs.....ahhhh, what a joyous time it is...let the games begin!

Good luck to all, and I'll spare you of my sexy, half naked pics...we got bigger fish to fry...

....That could be the only explanation that I can come up with to explain why in the world the Knicks are now sporting the highest payed back court ever....With two shoot first point guards who have a reputation for driving teams to the lottery after a few years. No rings between Steph and Steve, no MVP awards, or any awards for that matter. Does Zeke really think that by throwing in Steve Francis (shoot first point guard) to compliment Stephon Marbury (shoot first point guard) and Jamal Crawford (shoot first player, period) makes the Knicks a contender anytime soon?....Or is this a signal of some moves to come before tomarrow's trade deadline? I could see Crawford going somewhere but c'mon!, Zeke! You killed your future by signing that overweight center with a bad heart in the off season to a giant contract, right after you sign that other overhyped, overpayed center from Seattle that wears a garbage bag for a Superman cape....and you have no one on your roster to give the big men the ball....You spend another butt load of money for a coach that has about 30 or so years under his belt and is known for making point guards actual point guards. How does Francis fit into this equation???

I think the red panic button has been pushed by Isiah. He knows that Dolan will wake up anyday now from his coma so Zeke's trying his hardest to run this team into the ground before he gets canned......That, or Isiah Thomas is smoking crack.

TONITE ON TNT

KOBE VS. BRON

If there is any decency in this world...all my fellow bloggers will get this and get to writing!!! Tonite on TNT, the Cavs take on the Lakers, on TNT, at 10:30pm. (no, I do not work for TNT -but can if offered) Kobe vs. Lebron, in L.A., true showtime.

But I offer this challenge to the both of you awesome athletes. Its a challenge from us fans!!! Scoring titles are good.....but give us a show tomarrow......JUST PASS!!!! See who is the best between the both of you, and give the ball up. See how many assists you can throw....and see if you can BEAT SCOTT SKILES...(30 assists in a game)....

Push this article like crack, get the media to ask Kobe and Lebron about this. They can do it up.....just for us!!!!......DAMN THAT WOULD BE COOL!!!!

Thank you,

Us loving Fans!

In the name of "The Matrix", "The Answer", "The Big Diesel", "The Big Fundamental", "Vincesanity", "Tmac", "AK47", "CB4", "The Franchise", "Starbury", "King James", "Mr. Big Shot", "Big Shot Rob", "The Big Ticket", "STAT", and yes my new favorite, "Mamba".

And also in the name of the classics like, "Air", "Iceman", "The Human Highlight Reel", "Mugsey", "Spud", "The Pearl", "Magic", "Legend", "The Chief", "The Worm", "Spider", and my personal favorite, "World Be Free".

I bring to you the nicknames of some current NBA players that are in need of a good alias. Enjoy, and also, let me know what I might have missed!

Shareef Abdur Raheem - "Black Cat": Every team he joins, is cursed with bad luck and a trip to the lottery.

Kwame Brown - "Blankman": Aren't the reasons obvious?

Chris Kaman - "Horror Show": Have you seen this guy's mug yet? If the basketball career doesn't work out, you're a dead ringer for every last slasher movie that's ever to come out.

Mike Dunleavy Jr. - "Cut and Run": Because you earn the big bucks, get the big bucks, then vanish without a trace.

Darko Milicic - "D.O.A." - Second pick in the 2003 draft, minutes per game career average of 5.9....you do the math.

Tony Parker - "Lucky Dog": 1) Tim Duncan, 2) Eva Longoria...I rest my case.

Josh Smith - "Poster Shot": Every dunk, poster worthy.

Chris Paul - "The Savior": Compare the Hornets' record from last year to this year...and Atlanta passed on this guy?

Grant Hill - "Mr. Resilient": More comebacks than Madonna's music career....totally amazing.

Marvin Williams - "The Question": We have 'The Answer", "The Truth", and now I present "The Question". How does a guy get picked second in the draft but yet couldn't even start for his college squad???

Carlos Boozer - "The Magician": He tricked a blind man, then disappeared from Cleveland to go to Utah...then disappeared again. And for his next act, watch him pull a rabbit out of his hat...nothing up his sleaves...presto!

Ron Artest - "Screwloose": Other qualifying names include "Wingnut", "Crazytrain", "Captain Insanity", and  "Poo-for-brains".

Troy Hudson - "Foo-Foo Do": C'mon Troy, the poodle look was never in.

Latrell Sprewell - "Jobless": How are the hungry mouths to feed coping now without the million dollar salary and a roster spot?

The New York Knicks - "The Lost Boys": As Charles Barkley would put it, Patrick Ewing, Willis Reed, and Clyde Frazier, are rolling around in their graves right now.

Sam Cassell - "Half man/Half Hobbit": I know, I know, biting on Sir Charles again...but it's just too easy.

When you start quoting Charles Barkley, you know that your spent....So I'll quit while I'm ahead...but anymore nicknames that you can come up with, hey, that's what the comments are for!!!!