I'm sure you've read it by now, an 8th grader verbally committed to USC's Basketball program, accepting a scholarship offer from USC Head Coach Tim Floyd.  That's the nature of big time, big money NC Double A sports, its an eat or be eaten proposition.

Not to be outdone, Gator's once and future coach, Billy Donovan went out and made a similiar offer to an embryo who was "Off the charts in fallopian crossovers and uterine perimeter defense..."

The mother, Irene Dribnak, wasn't surprised.

"Even as a zygote Ethan was obviously something special.  While other zygotes were busy subdividing, Ethan was working on a fadeaway jumper...Quite frankly we were shocked a program like Florida offered a full scholarship based on two good ultrasounds, but I have to be honest, there was some thought to Ethan taking his chances, skipping college altogether, and entering the NBA draft as a fetus."

"I was stunned,"  Mount St. Mary's men's basketball coach Milan Brown said after Billy Donovan shocked the college hoops universe.  "As Catholics we believe conception occurs the moment a man buys a woman a second Mojito.  So obviously there's still a great opportunity for us to get in the game, but hat's off to Billy, thats why he has the rings."

Meanwhile, USC's Tim Floyd refused to comment, but his grim visage, after seeing the report on FoxSports Best Golly Gosh Darn Heckuva Sports Show, left little doubt he felt like yesterday's grilled cheese sammich. 

"Clearly we feel Coach Donovan stooped so low he could win a limbo contest poaching somebody so young and impressionable, somebody  who hasn't even reached full term viability.  We feel we've taken the high road.  Ryan is damn near puberty and that implies a maturity a fetus can't match."

Moe Dribnak said the biggest fear over his embryonic son's decision is the potential reaction of neighbors.  Like Mildred Fernsbee.

"I'm leery of that gossiping witch," he admitted. "It could get ugly as far as Mildred is concerned. After all her son is two and quite frankly doesn't have the common sense God gave a fruit basket.  I also don't want it to go to his head. I want Ethan to stay humble, well Kobe humble at the very least.  More importantly, I want Ethan to have a head."