By now, most of us have seen the video of the altercation between Carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth following the Subway 500 at Martinsville Speedway Sunday afternoon. In case you missed it, Kenseth was standing on pit road, waiting to be interviewed by Speed's Bob Dilner, when Carl stepped into the frame and physically moved Matt backwards several steps. When Matt attempted to get around Carl, Carl restrained him. The video cuts out for a short bit, but when it resumes, Carl can be seen faking a punch at Matt and laughing when Matt flinches.

 

There are a few theories as to why Carl behaved the way he did, and several would seem to make sense, but here at the Dan Williams Institute, we've done some research and we've come to the following conclusion:

 

Carl Edwards is an asshole.

 

Now, now, Edwards fans, before you go posting comments, keep in mind that we here at the Institute are Tony Stewart fans, so we know an asshole when we see one.

 

Let's look at a couple notable incidents in recent Edwards history, shall we?

 

Who can forget Carl nearly removing Dale Earnhardt Jr's hand with a flying side swipe following a Busch race last season?

 

Or how about Carl's sarcastic gestures at Kenseth during a Busch race this year at Kansas? Carl wrecked out of the race and while Matt was nowhere near Carl when he wrecked, Carl evidently felt he should blame Kenseth anyway. (The two had made contact earlier in the race and that contact had caused one of Carl's tires to deflate, but it was purely incidental.)

 

Stewart last season called Edwards the Eddie Haskell of NASCAR, and it's becoming very clear why Tony said that.

 

The incident Sunday at Martinsville was noteworthy not because the two drivers had a disagreement, and not even because teammates were at odds, but because of the completely unprofessional manner in which Carl behaved.

 

As a teammate to Matt, Carl has many options when it comes to airing a grievance with him, but he chose to do it very publicly and in a fashion befitting a school yard bully. It was also a BIG mistake doing it anywhere near Dilner, who ranks just ahead of Lee Spencer when it comes to sensationalistic and opportunistic NASCAR journalism. Dilner doesn't mind making up news if that's what he has to do to have a story, so there's no chance he's going to pass on reporting an incident like this.

 

With question marks surrounding him, Carl may have been dealt the biggest blow by another teammate, Greg Biffle. On Monday's edition of Inside Nextel Cup, Biffle explained why Carl was angry at Matt, but he made it clear that Carl had no right to have a beef with Matt and intimated that Carl is far from the clean cut guy he appears to be.

 

Phrases like, "the true colors are coming out" and, "the people wearing the 99 and Carl Edwards t-shirts... they need to second guess...", were very telling, especially coming from a teammate.

 

Roush Racing said that there will be no disciplinary action taken against either of the drivers and that's certainly their prerogative, but it seems that by taking no action, they're telling Carl it's okay to humiliate his teammates whenever he feels the need and whether he's right or not.

 

All that aside, the cool part out of all this is that we can now add a new name to the club:

 

Kurt Busch

 

Kyle Busch

 

Tony Stewart

 

Robby Gordon

 

Kevin Harvick

 

and now,

 

Carl Edwards.

 

Welcome to the NASCAR Assholes Club, Carl, we're glad to have you aboard.

 

My NASCAR Forum

Like thousands of race fans, I was thrilled when it was announced last year that ESPN would again be broadcasting NASCAR races in 2007.

Ever since the day ESPN broadcast their last race in the Fall of 2000, many of us have expressed the thought that of all the networks who had brought us NASCAR races, ESPN did the best job covering them.

And they did.

But not any more.

Gone is Bob Jenkins, who, even though he much preferred open wheel racing, did an absolutely great job as the anchor of each broadcast.

Gone is Gentleman Ned Jarrett, pushed into retirement by the emerging NASCAR partners of FOX and NBC in 2001.

Gone is Benny Parsons, his voice silenced forever in January of this year.

Gone is the excellent coverage we got from ESPN. In this new era of ESPN, we're treated to Dr. Jerry Punch, Andy Petree and Rusty Wallace in the broadcast booth, with a seeming cast of thousands ready to chime in at any time, and a host of idiotic graphics to help dumb the sport down as much as possible.

I am a huge fan of Dr. Punch, but he belongs on pit road, not in the booth - the job he did as a pit reporter was, in my opinion, the best you could hope for. In the booth, he's put into a role where he sometimes has to feign a lack of knowledge to elicit commentary from Andy and Rusty and it comes across as unnatural, because it is unnatural. He knows a helluva lot about the sport and he should be on pit road demonstrating that knowledge.

ESPN has a guy on pit road, Allen Bestwick, who is a natural in the booth. They have a guy in the booth, Dr. Jerry Punch, who is a natural on pit road. I'm no expert, but I know that if I were the producer of a show and wanted my fans to start liking it, I might think about a change.

Andy Petree, well, he's a failed team owner and he's doing a nice job of adding to that legacy as a broadcaster. Yes, he did win two Cup titles as a crew chief for Dale Earnhardt,and yes, the teams he owned did have a few good runs before they folded, but that doesn't make him a good choice for the broadcast booth. Knowledge only goes so far, you need personality as well.

Rusty Wallace is a NASCAR legend. The owner of a Cup championship and over 50 wins, his on track accomplishments speak for themselves. But, as a broadcaster, he leaves a lot to be desired. His use and overuse of terms such as "man" (as in, "man, I don't know what he was thinking), "there's that" (as in, "there's that aero loose we've been talking about"), "I tell ya" (as in, "man, I tell ya, I still don't know what he was thinking"), among others, wears thin very quickly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that ESPN is the worst broadcast crew out there - TNT wins that election in a landslide - but they could certainly improve.

The ESPN producers should do one of two things:

They should watch the FOX broadcasts and take some serious notes.

OR

They should watch tapes of the races they used to broadcast and go back to their roots - get rid of the idiotic glitz and graphics, get a good team in the booth and show us racing the way we used to see it. It was, after all, what made them our all time favorites.

 

NASCAR fans are a passionate lot, make no mistake about it. The vast majority of us have a favorite driver, and we are fiercely loyal to that driver, the team he drives for and the company that sponsors him.

You've probably seen the slogan (or variations of it), "NASCAR, not a sport, but a way of life", and how can anyone argue with that since our shopping habits are dictated by the guy we root for on race day?

Not only do we buy the products produced or sold by our drivers' sponsors, but we'll go so far as to refuse to even think about buying something from a competitor.

Faced with a clogged toilet, a Tony Stewart fan would pee in the trash can before buying a plunger at Lowe's, and a Carl Edwards fan would jot notes on his stomach (the fan's stomach, not Carl's) before going to Staples for a pack of Post-Its.

A Jamie McMurray fan would never think of touching a drop of Southern Comfort (which is probably for the best, fan or not) and a Kurt Busch fan (I know, he doesn't have any, but play along) would drink sewer water before drinking any beer but Miller Lite, although some people would argue the two pretty much taste the same.

A Kevin Harvick fan would push his car miles to get to a Shell station rather than the Exxon around the corner, and if you ever see a Reed Sorenson fan in a Wal-Mart, there's a good chance he's recently suffered a sharp blow to the head and doesn't know where he is (admittedly, it'll be tough to pick him out of the crowd, because most of the people shopping in there match that description).

A Denny Hamlin fan would drive cross country to hand deliver a package before using UPS, if only for the fact that lots of people don't even realize UPS still sponsors a car, since we never see it on Sunday.

You'll never see a Mark Martin fan in line at the Navy recruiting center and you'll never, ever see a Dale Earnhardt Jr fan drinking anything but Bud (if only because Bud cans have been proven, by Jr's fans, to be extremely aerodynamic when it comes time to throw things onto the track).

A Kasey Kahne fan (especially one of the three stalker women who have long out stayed their welcome in the All-State commercials), would stomp the crap out of the Geico gecko and a Ricky Rudd fan would would snack on tree bark before even considering anything but a Snickers bar.

This list* could go on and on, but you get the point. Fans refuse to spend money with competitors to our favorite drivers' sponsors and that's why the sponsors continue to pour money into the sport.

What's that? You don't want to be limited in your buying choices? Then you should consider becoming a Kyle Petty fan. He has so many different sponsors even he can't keep up with them all, so you're free to spend your money with anyone you choose.

You could also become a fan of Michael Waltrip, David Reutimann, AJ Allmendinger, Brian Vickers, Dave Blaney or Jeremy Mayfield. All these drivers actually do have single sponsors, but few ever make a race, so you can just pretend you don't know what you should be buying. (You'll have your Sunday's free to do whatever you like as well, since you won't need to watch the race to know your driver finished 50th again.)

 

 

 

 

*I'm really glad I didn't try to compile this list when Mark Martin was sponsored by Viagra.

 

Dan Williams