It's the night before the 2008 Daytona 500 and my pulse is quick, my breathing is quicker and small beads of sweat are showing on my forehead. But that's just because I'm watching some "adult entertainment" here on the old pc.

At around 3:30pm ET on Sunday, February 17, the green flag will wave to start the 50th edition of the Daytona 500 and at that moment, 43 cars will theoretically have a chance of winning the race, but only 10 or 15 will realistically have a chance of winning the race. And there are some very interesting possibilities this year.

What about Michael Waltrip? Disgraced last season by a cheating scandal, Waltrip, being a very effective PR person, made us forget all about that scandal by getting loaded and shrewdly wrecking his SUV on a rural North Carolina road.

But Michael Waltrip Racing is back and looking strong this year. Michael put the 55 on the outside front row, while MWR drivers Dale Jarrett and David Reutimann gained entry to the race during Thursday's qualifying races. It could easily be argued that both Waltrip and Jarrett have a good chance of winning the 500, but it's doubtful, simply because they won't get much help from the rest of the field. Their only real allies are the Joe Gibbs Racing drivers, and that group have already made clear they're only interested in helping each other.

Speaking of JGR, this is a motley bunch, isn't it? You have Tony Stewart, already firmly established as a guy lots of people love to hate. Add in Kyle Busch, a guy almost universally disliked, and Denny Hamlin, a likable guy who seems to go out of his way to be disliked, and you have a very volatile mix. All three are very good drivers, but they're also very stubborn, short tempered and ultra competitive.

It's very possible that one of the JGR drivers will win the 500. Denny took the win in their qualifying race and all three have looked good in practice, but the question is how well will they work together at the end of the race? We could see the three of them run nose to tail coming to the checkers, then wreck the hell out of each other when they all spread out and go for the win. Tony's already punched one of the Busch brothers this season and it could be two before the day is over.

And then there's the group at Hendrick Motorsports. Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson are perennial favorites in pretty much any race they enter and they'll have to be considered favorites this weekend as well. Both have run well in practice and JJ is starting on the pole.

There's a newcomer at HMS this season by the name of Dale Earnhardt Jr. Not much is known about him because he doesn't get much mention in the press, but the word is that he's a pretty decent restrictor plate racer, which would be helpful if they were racing restrictor plates. But they're not; they're racing cars. Luckily, he appears to have some ability in that area as well. I just hope that someone will get busy and write about this guy so he won't be such a mystery to us.

There are other possibilites as far as eventual winners of the race, but the odds are that the winning car will be either a Chevy or a Toyota and it will be piloted by a driver mentioned somewhere in this article.

That is, unless Derrike Cope gets a last minute ride, and then all bets are off.

If you're a Dale Earnhardt Jr. fan, or if you know one, you've most likely gotten an email or seen posts on message boards about an article that surfaced last week claiming that all traces of Jr.'s tenure at Dale Earnhardt Incorporated (DEI) have been eliminated from the company's showroom. As you can imagine, this news did not set well with Jr.'s legions of fans, most of whom already think Teresa Earnhardt is the most evil woman on the face of the earth, and the cry quickly went out, calling for her head on a platter (or at least for everyone to stick their tongues out at her).

BUT, and this is a big but, which is why I typed it all big like that, how much truth is there to the story? Is it true that there's no trace of Dale Jr. anywhere at DEI, save for a picture on the front of an instructional DVD available for sale in the gift shop? Is it true that Teresa is standing on the cat walk high atop the showroom, cackling with delight as she looks down and sees no likenesses of Dale Jr.? Or is it possible that some writer, wanting to get his newest article passed around a lot, simply put a bunch of BS on paper, knowing that people would take it as gospel?

In order to answer that question, I hit the Dale Trail and made the drive up Highway 3 to DEI headquarters to have a look around. (It should be noted that this trip required great personal sacrifice on my part, as DEI is at least twenty minutes away from my home.)

The lobby of this place is really cool; with a #3 Goodwrench Lumina parked dead center in front of a backdrop featuring a collage of DEI cars on a race track. Among the cars pictured is a red #8 Budweiser Monte Carlo piloted by Dale Earnhardt Jr., so it was already beginning to look like the story might have been a load of horse extract, but I figured I should investigate further, just in case that image was part of a conspiracy to simply make me think everything was fine.

I made a right turn and walked around the backdrop to find a very large glass wall, behind which I could see several race cars, including the one front dead center, which just happened to be the red and white #8 Budweiser Monte Carlo Dale Jr. drove to victory in the 2004 Daytona 500. Dang, I was only two minutes into the place and I'd already seen two instances of Dale Jr.'s past here; maybe the guy who wrote the article has problems with his eyesight?

There were several other cars of Jr's parked behind that wall, including the #1 Coca-Cola car he drove in Japan a few years ago. Also present were cars driven by Michael Waltrip, including the 2001 Daytona 500 winner, and Steve Park's winning car from North Carolina Speedway the week after the 2001 Daytona 500. It should be noted that there are no plaques explaining the significance of the cars on display; if you didn't know your recent NASCAR history, you wouldn't know which car was which.

I turned left to walk further into the showroom, and it was in this area that the true purpose of the place became apparent. (Its small size also became apparent; this showroom is not what you'd call spacious.)

Sure, there was a mention (complete with a car and photos) of Martin Truex Jr. and his 2005 NASCAR Busch Series championship. And sure, there was a car that had been driven by Paul Menard. And there was even a very small display dedicated to Mark Martin.

And no, there were no displays dedicated to Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s NASCAR Busch Series championships. And no, there were no photos or displays dedicated to Michael Waltrip or to Steve Park (DEI's first driver).

But there were lots of displays dedicated to Dale Earnhardt, and that is the true purpose of this showroom; it's a celebration of Dale's life and the many accomplishments from throughout his career. There are a few of his Winston Cup trophies, his much pursued Daytona 500 trophy, race worn uniforms and lots of other memorabilia. If you're an Earnhardt fan, this place is a must see, but see it after you've been to the museum at Richard Childress Racing.

I noticed, though, that there were several things missing from the displays. Where was Dale's Rookie of the Year trophy? How about his first Winston Cup trophy? IROC trophies?

Ask a question to get an answer: because space is limited, and to keep the place fresh, displays are changed out on a regular basis, so the things I saw today probably won't be on display the next time I go, but other gems will be.

Why aren't Dale Jr.'s Busch championships featured? Because Martin Truex Jr. is the most recent champion from the DEI stables and his car occupies that spot.

There are no displays dedicated to Jr., Waltrip or Park because those guys are all former drivers for the team. Truthfully, there were only a couple non-Dale displays, with one being a large glass case dedicated to Truex and the earlier mentioned small case for Mark Martin. Menard is barely mentioned and Aric Almirola and Regan Smith are nonexistent.

In the gift shop, there was still ample evidence of Jr.'s time at DEI. There were no #8 Budweiser products for sale, but there were lots of other items, including some really cool die casts from his Busch series years. None of these things were marked down, or priced any lower than comparable merchandise from other drivers.

It's all a matter of perspective, I suppose, but I saw no evidence of any attempt to "eliminate" Dale Jr. from DEI's existence. He's not openly celebrated, but I can't see a reason why he should be: Sure, his name is Earnhardt, but he's now a driver for a rival team. His place in the team's history is made apparent through the display of his cars and I'm sure that if the company wanted to eliminate him, they could easily slide #3 Goodwrench cars in there and hide the Bud machines in the back.

Bottom line, if you visit the museum at Richard Childress Racing, don't expect to see much mention of Kevin Harvick, Jeff Burton or Clint Bowyer; they are featured, but Dale Earnhardt is the real show. Likewise, if you visit DEI, don't expect to see much mention of drivers - past or present - other than Dale Earnhardt.

And whoever wrote that story and got all those fans of Dale Jr. worked up for nothing, you really should be ashamed of yourself.

To see the photos I took while at DEI, please Click here

At first glance, this may not seem to be about sports, so I'm recommending you skip past the first glance and move right to the second.

On any website where people interact, you'll find great people who have a lot of fun talking about the topic(s) of that site, and you'll also inevitably find some not so great people who take great delight in causing trouble. These people are often referred to as "trolls", presumably because they live under bridges and have really bad breath.

It's very easy to be one of the great people who always plays nice, but it takes a lot of talent to be a true troublemaker, so I'm here with your handy dandy guide to being the best internet troll you can be, which is entitled, "Your Handy Dandy Guide To Being The Best Internet Troll You Can Be". Let's get started, shall we?

First, you'll need a computer and an internet connection. Since you're reading this, it will be easy for you to Google these terms to see where you can find computers and internet connections near you.

Next, you need an agenda. You can be a general troll, meaning that you'll criticize people for pretty much anything they say, or you can be a specific troll, meaning you'll only go after people who say things about your favorite team or your favorite driver or your favorite serial killer, etc.

No matter which route you choose above, there are some very important components to being a great troll and you must embody them all if you want to be truly effective.

1. It's very important to be a poor speller. I can't stress this one enough. It's against the troll code of conduct to spell words correctly, so proper spelling will give you away as a wannabe very quickly.
2. You must be creative with profanity. It's not enough to use profanity, you need to be able to use it in new and exciting ways. Sure, you might get a reaction if you call someone a mother somethingorother, but you'll get a much stronger reaction if you specify just whose mother that person has been somethingorothering.
3. TYPE IN ALL CAPS. I DON'T THINK I NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE, DO I?
4. Accuse the other person of being gay. When you get into a war of words with someone, odds are they will win it. Why do I say that? Because most trolls are mental midgets and you're a troll, right? So, you'll need a back up plan for when you lose an argument, and few things will do more damage than accusing a complete stranger of being gay. Of course the other person will be humiliated that you've somehow deduced the sexual orientation he's kept hidden from family and friends for all these years and he'll likely be so ashamed that he'll never show his face on the site again. Or maybe not, but it's free to try, right?
5. Don't let facts get in the way of a good opinion. This is a biggie for a good troll. Go right ahead and state whatever is on your mind and when confronted with evidence to the contrary, stand your ground. Question the other person's sources, as in, "Elias WHO?", and when the source can't be questioned, question the context, as in, "sure, but does it list how often he scratches himself after all base hits, or just home runs?"
6. When in doubt, threaten physical violence. This one will really show them. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of others like being threatened by some faceless name on a computer screen. Sure, you're a scrawny, 120 pound geek sitting in front of his computer wearing three day old underwear, but tell someone you're going to kick his butt and everyone will think you're 7 foot tall and bullet proof. All the other people on the site will instantly become afraid of you and no one will ever dare disagree with you again.
7. Your head must be up your rear end. This is not negotiable, all trolls have their heads up there, without exception.

These are the most important components of being a great internet troll, but explore a little and see how many new ideas you can come up with. You're only limited by your imagination, profanity filters and, in certain cases, law enforcement agencies, so have at it.

If you're looking for real world examples, odds are that a few will show up in the comments section below this post.

By now, most of us have seen the video of the altercation between Carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth following the Subway 500 at Martinsville Speedway Sunday afternoon. In case you missed it, Kenseth was standing on pit road, waiting to be interviewed by Speed's Bob Dilner, when Carl stepped into the frame and physically moved Matt backwards several steps. When Matt attempted to get around Carl, Carl restrained him. The video cuts out for a short bit, but when it resumes, Carl can be seen faking a punch at Matt and laughing when Matt flinches.

 

There are a few theories as to why Carl behaved the way he did, and several would seem to make sense, but here at the Dan Williams Institute, we've done some research and we've come to the following conclusion:

 

Carl Edwards is an asshole.

 

Now, now, Edwards fans, before you go posting comments, keep in mind that we here at the Institute are Tony Stewart fans, so we know an asshole when we see one.

 

Let's look at a couple notable incidents in recent Edwards history, shall we?

 

Who can forget Carl nearly removing Dale Earnhardt Jr's hand with a flying side swipe following a Busch race last season?

 

Or how about Carl's sarcastic gestures at Kenseth during a Busch race this year at Kansas? Carl wrecked out of the race and while Matt was nowhere near Carl when he wrecked, Carl evidently felt he should blame Kenseth anyway. (The two had made contact earlier in the race and that contact had caused one of Carl's tires to deflate, but it was purely incidental.)

 

Stewart last season called Edwards the Eddie Haskell of NASCAR, and it's becoming very clear why Tony said that.

 

The incident Sunday at Martinsville was noteworthy not because the two drivers had a disagreement, and not even because teammates were at odds, but because of the completely unprofessional manner in which Carl behaved.

 

As a teammate to Matt, Carl has many options when it comes to airing a grievance with him, but he chose to do it very publicly and in a fashion befitting a school yard bully. It was also a BIG mistake doing it anywhere near Dilner, who ranks just ahead of Lee Spencer when it comes to sensationalistic and opportunistic NASCAR journalism. Dilner doesn't mind making up news if that's what he has to do to have a story, so there's no chance he's going to pass on reporting an incident like this.

 

With question marks surrounding him, Carl may have been dealt the biggest blow by another teammate, Greg Biffle. On Monday's edition of Inside Nextel Cup, Biffle explained why Carl was angry at Matt, but he made it clear that Carl had no right to have a beef with Matt and intimated that Carl is far from the clean cut guy he appears to be.

 

Phrases like, "the true colors are coming out" and, "the people wearing the 99 and Carl Edwards t-shirts... they need to second guess...", were very telling, especially coming from a teammate.

 

Roush Racing said that there will be no disciplinary action taken against either of the drivers and that's certainly their prerogative, but it seems that by taking no action, they're telling Carl it's okay to humiliate his teammates whenever he feels the need and whether he's right or not.

 

All that aside, the cool part out of all this is that we can now add a new name to the club:

 

Kurt Busch

 

Kyle Busch

 

Tony Stewart

 

Robby Gordon

 

Kevin Harvick

 

and now,

 

Carl Edwards.

 

Welcome to the NASCAR Assholes Club, Carl, we're glad to have you aboard.

 

My NASCAR Forum

Like thousands of race fans, I was thrilled when it was announced last year that ESPN would again be broadcasting NASCAR races in 2007.

Ever since the day ESPN broadcast their last race in the Fall of 2000, many of us have expressed the thought that of all the networks who had brought us NASCAR races, ESPN did the best job covering them.

And they did.

But not any more.

Gone is Bob Jenkins, who, even though he much preferred open wheel racing, did an absolutely great job as the anchor of each broadcast.

Gone is Gentleman Ned Jarrett, pushed into retirement by the emerging NASCAR partners of FOX and NBC in 2001.

Gone is Benny Parsons, his voice silenced forever in January of this year.

Gone is the excellent coverage we got from ESPN. In this new era of ESPN, we're treated to Dr. Jerry Punch, Andy Petree and Rusty Wallace in the broadcast booth, with a seeming cast of thousands ready to chime in at any time, and a host of idiotic graphics to help dumb the sport down as much as possible.

I am a huge fan of Dr. Punch, but he belongs on pit road, not in the booth - the job he did as a pit reporter was, in my opinion, the best you could hope for. In the booth, he's put into a role where he sometimes has to feign a lack of knowledge to elicit commentary from Andy and Rusty and it comes across as unnatural, because it is unnatural. He knows a helluva lot about the sport and he should be on pit road demonstrating that knowledge.

ESPN has a guy on pit road, Allen Bestwick, who is a natural in the booth. They have a guy in the booth, Dr. Jerry Punch, who is a natural on pit road. I'm no expert, but I know that if I were the producer of a show and wanted my fans to start liking it, I might think about a change.

Andy Petree, well, he's a failed team owner and he's doing a nice job of adding to that legacy as a broadcaster. Yes, he did win two Cup titles as a crew chief for Dale Earnhardt,and yes, the teams he owned did have a few good runs before they folded, but that doesn't make him a good choice for the broadcast booth. Knowledge only goes so far, you need personality as well.

Rusty Wallace is a NASCAR legend. The owner of a Cup championship and over 50 wins, his on track accomplishments speak for themselves. But, as a broadcaster, he leaves a lot to be desired. His use and overuse of terms such as "man" (as in, "man, I don't know what he was thinking), "there's that" (as in, "there's that aero loose we've been talking about"), "I tell ya" (as in, "man, I tell ya, I still don't know what he was thinking"), among others, wears thin very quickly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that ESPN is the worst broadcast crew out there - TNT wins that election in a landslide - but they could certainly improve.

The ESPN producers should do one of two things:

They should watch the FOX broadcasts and take some serious notes.

OR

They should watch tapes of the races they used to broadcast and go back to their roots - get rid of the idiotic glitz and graphics, get a good team in the booth and show us racing the way we used to see it. It was, after all, what made them our all time favorites.