For all the grief that placekickers take in the NFL, most of it is unfounded and I know from personal experience. When I got out of college, I was an undersized, quick but not fast wide receiver who had half the bones in his body broken. Which of course made perfect sense that when the Dallas Cowboys held their open tryouts in Thousand Oaks back then I was going to the pros. (What was that they said about youth is wasted on the dumb?...or something like that.)

Now as stupid as you may think I was (and I was) I had a plan. For a whole summer I paid a kid to hold and another kid to shag the ball and my plan was I was gonna be a wide receiver/backup placekicker.

Try and stay with me here. This was in the days that the Dallas Kicker was a guy named Toni Frisch from Austria or somewhere and the soccer style kickers were still outnumbered by the straight on kickers. But I was no dummy. Since I had never been a kicker I figured it made no difference, I'd be a soccer style kicker. On my 17,467th atttempt I put a beauty through the local high school uprights and my two kids helping me died on the spot from heart attacks. From the extra point mark.  A month later I was banging them thru from 20-25 yards. That summer I played in what was called a "contact flag football 9 player" league and was the sensation of the league. Kicked a 52 yarder once. No problem for a natural. (and just to make sure the Cowboys couldn't overlook the value they were going to be getting, I played both wide receiver and cornerback on defense and made the all star team as a cornerback and placekicer... Go figure.

I walked onto the open tryouts at the Cowboy Camp at Thousand Oaks. I had my resume. UCLA receiver, placekicker and a fair country cornerback. Most these tryout guys were guys who came drunk and left in about 30 minutes when it became apparant they had their thigh pads in backwards or even their shoulder pads on backwards. Not me. I made it thru day one.

Boomed a 40 yarder in practice. Which brings me to my point boys and girls. I doubt many of you remember the names Chuck Howley,  Bob Lilly and so on. These guys were HUGE compared to the average college guy of my day and they were all pros. Of course they weren't practicing with us walkon scrubs. But they started showing up and watching and laughing. I met Bob Hayes who couldn't hold onto a ball if you begged him and was frigging intimidated at how buff this "little 5'10" guy.

Anyhow the fifth day I could barely walk I was so hurting. I mean you got hit by a pro and you knew you been hit.  Which of course would be the time to give me my big shot as a placekicker. Dallas was thinking like I thought they would so it seemed.  3 bench riders in one and just maybe they'd need me in a pinch if Frisch got hurt and a strategic nuclear bomb took out every single receiver and corner on their roster except me. . My first kick was from 28 yards if memory serves and let me tell you. They don't have to come thru the line. They just have to be there raising up and 99% of the people that ever lived are gonna see their lives flash before their eyes. That field goal snap, placement, kick takes place SO FAST anyone who says a kicker is not an athlete is insane.  I got the kick off. I forget who was the center that day. Good thing they had to take him to the hospital or he would have killed me. I drilled a line drive right into his nuts. Got cut that night.