At times you find yourself in a situation in whch the "language" sounds familar yet no one seems to be reacting to what you're saying in a normal manner. This can be both embarassing and even potentally disruptive to your own sanity. The problem is that some segments of society have different meanings for the same phrase or words than you do. For example:

 "Snoop is my cousin and he's about to drop my CD any day now"

TRANSLATION: You're about to get hit up for a dollar and half a dozen cigarettes if you smoke. Not to mention half an hour of ignorant tales of wild parties at Snoop Doggs Mansion in Hollywood (Snoop doesn't live in Hollywood)

"Me and my homie ran with the bulls"

TRANSLATION: They stole steaks from  the supermarket and got chased by security.

"Hell yeah I climbed Mount Everest twice last month"

TRANSLATION: He used a ladder to break into his upstairs neighbor's apartment twice.

" I broke the bank at Monte Carlo"

TRANSLATION: He stole a Monte Carlo and found a wallet with 38.00 in it.

"Traveled Abroad"

TRANSLATION: Left the state and went to his cousin in Mississippi because he had warrants in Chicago.

" She wants to have sex"

TRANSLATION: He met a female on the sidewalk who actually gave him a working phone number.

"Fine Dining"

TRANSLATION: Ate at a place that has plates instead of trays

"Bought Property"

TRANSLATION:   Promised his aunt (4 years ago) he'd give her 50.00 for the inoperable Buick LeSabre she had in her back yard.

"Customized My Ride"

TRANSLATION: Stole the spinners off his aunts next door neighbors sons car when he made the mistake of leaving it on the street overnight.

"Financially Secure" 

TRANSLATION: He's pretty sure he has enough weed and money for two blunt wraps.

"Took A Vacation"

TRANSLATION: They extradited him from Mississipi on the warrants in Chicago

"Pursuing Higher Education"

TRANSLATION: There's a fair chance they're gonna let him pass the 10th grade.

"Professional Athelete"

TRANSLATION: He can beat the computer at Madden Football

"Executive Position"

TRANSLATION: He found a woman who will give him her mony and let him yell at her.

"Mass Appeal"

TRANSLATION:  He's absolutely sure he has enough weed and money for two blunt wraps and everyone he knows is coming over to chill and help him smoke them.

"Evening At The Theatre"

TRANSLATION: His sister is on the door at the cineplex and him and all his friends get in free until she gets fired for 800 hoodrats yelling and throwing stuff in the theatre and not a dime is in the register.

"Trying To Get Ahead"

TRANSLATION:  What white people say when they want oral sex from a hoochie.

FROM THE FORTHCOMING BOOK "HOODRAT AND TRAILER TRASH TRANSLATION" BY "DUSTYLAKER"  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

When I was a small boy The St Louis Hawks were in town and my family was visting relatives and I got taken to the game. Back then the NBA wasn't that big a deal. I don't know how many were there but it wasn't that many compared to today. I was maybe 8 or 9 somewhere around there and the Uncle told me that Hawk Star Bob Pettit was the best basketball player in the world. Now I didn't know the word homer back then so I just took his word for it.

I don't even remember who they were playing or who won. What I do remember is being enouraged to go stand with all the other kids in the tunnel where the Hawks exited the game. As hard as it may be to believe, I was a shy kid back then. I tried to fade into the woodwork being a poor kid and well aware that I didn't even have a pen or piece of paper for an autograph. I didn't even know what Bob Pettit looked like.

Long story short. Older people will remember the soda commercial where Mean Joe Greene of the Steelers stops and talks to the kid and gives him his jersey. Bob Pettit didn't do that. What he did do was stand with the kids and talk to all of us and he asked me if I wanted an autograph and I said yeah but I didn't have a pen or paper. He asked someone else to give him that and he gave me his autograph.

All these years later I don't know when the autograph disappeared out of my shoe boxes. Don't know if it was worth anything to anyone today. But that was my first touch with the NBA stars. And I was just thrilled. So were the other 50 or so kids he spent maybe an hour making sure all of us got a chance to talk to Bob Pettit.

There has to be a moral to the story right? Bob Pettit was widely viewed as both a hall of famer and a world class asshole. Surly, selfish, uncooperative. But to this day you'll never convince a little "trash kid" who thought this was best thing that had ever happened in his life.

You can't always believe the hype and  you can't always believe the hate.

If you are  sick of Charley Rosen's vicous attacks on players, his inability to be objective, his never ending negative columns please write to me MARK HOLLY at VelvetProductions@msn.com and join me in the CHARLEY ROSEN MUST GO campaign.

You can also help by copying this message and pasting it to the bottom of every blog entry you make on your own blog or post on others. This is gonna take some time but we the fans have a right to demand that Fox listen to us and get this travesty out of our lives.

Two games into the new season hardly qualifies as a measuring stick for glee and hope, nor for despair and ridicule. Having said that let's take a look at my two game comments from last night.

KNICKS VS GRIZZLIES:

3 overtimes. On their opening night. Wow. Not sure what that shows us but boy was it exhausting. The paid writers made note pretty much universally that the Knicks blew the big lead and had to come back.  So what? Last season they blew the tiny leads and almost never came back. Granted the Grizzlies without Gasol and Battier are not my idea of much of a team but then no team that has Chucky Atkins jacking up enough to get 25 even in triple overtime is much of a team to my eye. (Yes, including the year he pouted his way thru being a Laker). Still as a bona fida Knick hater I gotta say  I was impressed with the effort of most the Knicks. This is a team of perennial cancers, chokers, underachievers and kids. Been a long time since I can recall a Knick  team having the intestional fortitude to go to three overtimes much less win it. Nope, not sure what it all means but not bad Zeke.

LAKERS VS WARRIORS:

No Kobe, No Phil, No Kwame, No Mihm and while there in body, No Sasha for the second game in. The first back to back of the season on the road and the Warrior fans about as loud and into it as they will be the rest of the year. And for the second night in a row the Lakers beat a run and gun team at their own game. 110 points.

Like with the Knick win I'm not sure what this all means but since I'm a Laker fan I'm gonna read some homer stuff into this one.  Kurt Rambis doesn't coach like Phil Jackson. Kurt pretty much plays everyone.  Phil doesn't like Rookies. Kurt gets the nod for last night by getting 23 out of Rony Turiaf. Odom did his second game in a row imitation of Scottie Pippen without MJ and Luke Walton is actually taking open shots instead of kicking the ball back out to someone else during mid dunk.

But then again it was the Warriors. The Warriors with Baron "assist? what the hell are you talking about assist? I'm shooting" Davis.  Granted it was their first game of the season. Looked like a highlight film of BD's career to me. Davis will lose his teammates once again if he continues to hog the ball, force shots......when a teammate is out on the wing working hard, ahead of the ball and a clear path to the basket and Davis pretends he's blind and playing 1 on 1 street ball. Let's not even talk about Mike Dunleavy at PF. Everyone who laughed and snorted about that one is 1-0.  

Bottom line is the same as what I said when Don Nelson first took the job. "Are you serious? You can't possibly need the money that bad?"  Regardless of how things go this season for you Don, you don't have a Dirk here, you don't have a Nash, your old Warrior warhorse is now your boss and you didn't win a title with the teams you did have talent on. What were you thinking?

2-0 Lakers. Whooda Thunk it? I'm gonna enjoy it while it lasts. We got tonight off so that's 3 days so far in first place in the NBA. 

P.S. Andrew Bynum? You got game son but you're green as the greenest apple. You know how I know? Kids and journeymen play to the level of their competition when they're playing bad teams. Experienced talent buries bad teams and rises to the level of good teams. You stunk last night. Welcome to the NBA.

 If you'd like to read the blog of a really talented knowledgable writer, thanks for reading this one.....NO...just kidding....check this guy out. He's got talent.

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Mr_Showtime/2006/11/01/Big_Trouble_in_Little_Miami?page_no=1&reload=9

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  WHO WAS THE FIRST ROOKIE CLEVELAND CAV TO EVER BE GIVEN THE TITLE "THE NEXT MJ" BEFORE TEARING UP HIS KNEE AND NEVER BEING THE SAME AGAIN?

If you are  sick of Charley Rosen's vicous attacks on players, his inability to be objective, his never ending negative columns please write to me MARK HOLLY at VelvetProductions@msn.com and join me in the CHARLEY ROSEN MUST GO campaign.

You can also help by copying this message and pasting it to the bottom of every blog entry you make on your own blog or post on others. This is gonna take some time but we the fans have a right to demand that Fox listen to us and get this travesty out of our lives.

Oh yeah we're playing fantasy. Who isn't? The only difference I can see in my playing fantasy and everyone else is that my winning is a given.

Here is my team in the Dusty Dimes League. You also rans feel free to post your's if you really are that silly. Be my guest. Hahahaha

Kobe Bryant

Dwight Howard

Kirk Hinrich

JJ Johnson

Shaquille O'neal

Corey Maggette

Kwame Brown

Cuttino Mobley

Shane Battier

Lou Deng

Andrew Bynum

Smush Parker

Joel Pryzilla

Tony Battie

I am playing some unknown person called Slowdrummer.....er Quickdrummer that is the first week and will keep you posted throughout the season. I myself modestly expect that the bulls 70 win season is history. the Dustylakers have been projected by numerous experts and computer programs to finish an astounding 82-0. While I do admit that injuries and things like extended naps and my wife getting us stuck in traffic may well cause us to drop down to around the 75 win level,  you can expect us to be in the hunt. Bon appetite and Bon chance. (parle vous francais? No ne je parle pas Francais. Do I look like Pumpkin head Parker?)

If you are  sick of Charley Rosen's vicous attacks on players, his inability to be objective, his never ending negative columns please write to me MARK HOLLY at VelvetProductions@msn.com and join me in the CHARLEY ROSEN MUST GO campaign.

You can also help by copying this message and pasting it to the bottom of every blog entry you make on your own blog or post on others. This is gonna take some time but we the fans have a right to demand that Fox listen to us and get this travesty out of our lives.

Holy cow it's only one day until the NBA regular season kicks off and boy am I tired. All this energy used up waiting for the season and I can't see that I've hurried it up a single second. And when you factor in the two nincompoops trying to make out LBJ is better that MJ ever was and Kobe is worse than Harold Miner? I may have to take a nap during the first 10 games.

Anyhow let's finish it off by predicting the regular season records and the semi and final predictions in the Wild Wild West. (boy is this an excercise in stupidity. Any of 4 teams could legitimately win the West). But here goes.

1.) Phoenix Suns

2.) San Antonio Spurs

3.) Dallas Mavericks

4.) Los Angeles Clippers

5.) Los Angeles Lakers

 6.) Denver Nuggets

7.) Houston Rockets

8.) Sacramento Kings

9.) Oklahoma City Hornets

10.) Memphis Grizzlies

11.) Golden State Warriors

12.)Utah Jazz

13.)Minnesota Timberwolves

14.)Seattle Sonics

15.) Portland Trail Blazers

West Semis: Suns vs.Mavs, Spurs vs. Lakers

West finals: Suns vs Spurs

And there you have it. LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!! SHOWTIME!!!!

If you are  sick of Charley Rosen's vicous attacks on players, his inability to be objective, his never ending negative columns please write to me MARK HOLLY at VelvetProductions@msn.com and join me in the CHARLEY ROSEN MUST GO campaign.

You can also help by copying this message and pasting it to the bottom of every blog entry you make on your own blog or post on others. This is gonna take some time but we the fans have a right to demand that Fox listen to us and get this travesty out of our lives.