I could have gone for the cheap double negative, but in the words of Richard Nixon before the tape ran out, "That would be wrong." Riding around town today listening to the Drive By Truckers (one of America's finest rock bands) and thinking about the South. And football. And how anymore the game on the field looks the same no matter where you are. Kind of like airports and shopping malls.

The fans haven't changed. Here in the South I think we scraped up all the loose football fan material and quilted it into one giant lunatic fringe. Up North a coach loses a game or two and the fans start posting on the internet that he should be fired. Down here we want him run out of town on a rail, his dog neutered, and the college president fired. For starters.

But on the game day it's all the same. West Coast offenses and pro sets. Rap music on the PA when the teams are about to come out of the tunnel. Rosters full of players recruited in Florida and Texas. Nobody named Joe Don or Billy Bob but plenty of guys with dreadlocks and names that would get you the deluxe screening at the airport.

Texas running a shotgun. A shotgun. On first down. If it was in the back of your truck that's one thing. Junior Walker doing it on your CD player? Fine again. But on a football field? In Texas? Whatever happened to the wishbone?

Oh sure, the coaches still speak English as a second language, but it's not the same. Bear Bryant is dead, and Don Shula's boy is coaching the Tide. They actually played Hawaii this year. All that's left of the old bull moose are the Bowden clan, Frank Beamer, Tommy Turbeville, Steve Spurrier and lot's of ghosts of the past. Today's coaches are just a bunch of enablers explaining why Johnny can't read, but can be forgiven for having a pistol when the cops arrived.

The wierdness is gone. White halfbacks and 12 play drives. Clemson and North Carolina playing a game that means something. End arounds and half back options. Walk on players and fully dressed cheerleaders. Old school at the old schools.

Now we got Chuck Amato wearing Raybans and red shoes and something called a "champions walk" at NC State. There's a high rise for the alumni who might wilt if exposed to outdoor ventilation. 

We've got Boston College in the ACC and games on Thursday night for the benefit of ESPN. Guys from Nike running around like they own the place, mainly because they do. Fifth year players, and three year and out guys going to the pros. Announcers who think y'all is a boat.

Southern football is gone with the wind. And frankly, Scarlett, as long as the money rolls in nobody gives a damn.