Who would you invite to dinner if you could pick from anyone in all of history?

It's one of those "what if" questions designed to get people talking.  The usual response is naming great thinkers, religious figures, and politicians.  Nobody really would want to meet Shakespeare or Lincoln, but if we said who we'd really want to meet we'd appear shallow.

I don't have a problem with appearing shallow.  When they compile the list of the 500 deep thinkers of 2009, my name won't be on the list.  I've got cable TV.  Why would I want to waste time solving global warming when ESPN 2 has the Division III croquet championships?

I have two lines of thought about the whole question of who to invite to this hypothetical dinner.  There's the people I'd like to meet, and the people I'd like to put together in a room to watch the fights break out.

I'd put Jim Brown, with his robes and attitude, next to Ty Cobb.  Bobby Knight would probably enjoy that show.  He'd be there, right next to Stephon Marbury.  They could talk about the virtues of team play and defense.

Maybe I'd invite Brett Favre and sit him next to the guy who played the insurance salesman on "Groundhog Day".  "You're probably thinking about retirement.  Two words for you Brett.  I can call you Brett?  Term life.  Am I right, or am I right."

Kobe and Shaq would make good dinner companions.  Shaq could tell Kobe how great LeBron James is, and Kobe could show him his ring.  That he won.  By himself.

You'd invite Randy Johnson, Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, and Mark McGwire and then listen to the sound of the clock slowly ticking away the long, silent hours.

But if I had to play it straight up and invite four people I'd really like to have met it wouldn't be difficult to pick them out.

It isn't a party without Babe Ruth.  The one guy who the other three famous guys would be in awe of.  And the least pretentious man in the room.  I think it would be fun to be called "Kid" by the Babe.  The bar tab and food bill would be enormous, but who would care?

Don Meredith.  How could a Cowboy fan not invite Meredith?  The stories he could tell.  Landry, the title games with Green Bay, Monday night football with Cosell.  And when we all would end up a little worse for wear, he could lead us in a few country songs.

Roberto Clemente.  Why? Because he's the biggest mystery among the Hall of Famers.  The press knocked him for most of his career, and he wasn't that open with them.  I'd want to ask him how it felt to play the game.  To be able to do things nobody else could on a baseball field. 

Charles Barkley.  I know, I know.  He's everything his worst critics say about him.  But he's never at a loss for words.  And you know you'd end up laughing hard before the evening was over.

There's only one thing I'd have to be sure of before I'd agree to this mythical dinner party.

Nobody tells Howard Cosell where we're meeting up at.