Carolyn T and I were inspired by the recent four part interview between the two NGS winners, Ty Hildenbrandt and Brandon Vogel, to come up with our own NGS II losers perspective on the contest and blogging.  We weren't inspired enough to write four parts (part 1 was on Carolyn's blog   http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/CarolynT
yesterday and part C will be on her blog tomorrow (Saturday), but then again maybe that's why we didn't win.

(Dudski-affecting mock British accent to sound like David Frost) Carolyn, your blog hasn't been without controversy.  Let me go through the list (fumbles as sheets unspool into the floor).  The tattoo?

(CarolynT) Once I got past all the invitations to porn sites, I admit, I enjoyed the attention. And then deleted the post forthwith. I did, however, increase my novel pre-sales to 3 million just from the Pirates and Harley-guys tattoo fans.

(Dudski)  You've admitted to blogging on steroids.  For the kids who read your blog, what would you like to say?

(CarolynT)  It gave me at least four more paragraphs a blog and so, so much more, Dudski. It's a wonder I can fit into my Mets shirts anymore, what with all the "extra conditioning" I'm doing typing and the "special diet" I'm eating at work. How do you think I can just chug out a 50,000 word novel in one month?? To the kids I say...bloggers can't be role models. Do as I say, not as I blog. Blog unto others as you would have them blog unto you.

(Dudski)  But surely, you've seen the dark side of steroid abuse.  Exhibit 1-violent mood swings.  Truth or fiction, the pictures of the woman wearing a Cardinal's cap at the Mets playoff game.  That's your hand about to throw the popcorn at her isn't it?

(CarolynT) Clearly the hand throwing the popcorn is a right hand, Dudski...I'm a lefty. Not guilty. Oops...I forgot I'm ambidextrous! But still, I was holding the video camera...and, and...she deserved it! The nerve! The *&(@)*) Cardinals and their *(*@)@ fans can take a @&&)) off the )(@ bridge for all I care!!  ahem.  @#!%^ mood swings.  I should deck you right here and now...

(Dudski)  The ugly incident with Rick Smits...

(CarolynT) Rick Smits. Sigh. (True story) He went to Div. I-Marist College when I was at nearby Dutchess Comm. College playing some tiny junior college volleyball. We were both asked to give an "inspirational athlete-perspective" speech at a fund raiser for a nearby parochial school that had burned down. His speech: 3 minutes (we were asked to do 15 minutes). Mine: and I know this would surprise you, was much, much longer.

I spoke after him (he didn't acknowledge me at dinner, not that I'm holding a grudge...) and I got muuuuch more applause. In fact, after I sat down (sweaty, heart pumping, ears ringing from nerves), the school president told me they were still clapping. Rick, apparently, missed my speech. Div. I ball players are busy, busy people.

When I transferred to SUNY Albany (now home of the NY Giants training camp), I got cut from varsity volleyball but met my husband while on the club team. So...everything works out, right? ....RIGHT!? (wahahaha)

(CarolynT)  OK, OK, enough about MY problems.  I want to say this delicately to spare you from reliving the embarrassment again.

(Dudski-Shifts uncomfortably in chair)

(CarolynT) The first NGS2 assignment.  When you choked.  No, that's not it.  Bit the big one, followed Custer down the Valley, threw up the air blog.  Left your manhood in the locker room...

(Dudski)  If I could just answer...

(CarolynT)  No wait, I want to spare your feelings some more.  Blew the approach, fanned with 2 out in the ninth, let down the home team. (Deep breath).  OK, how did it feel to be the cat who coughed up that fur ball of a first assignment?

(Dudski)  First, thanks for sparing my feelings.  For the assignment I wrote about a star high school player who lead our team to a state championship when I was in school. It was a pretty straight recounting of the actual events, but I realize now it needed a little something extra. A courageous dog running fifty miles across the frozen North Carolina country side to bring steroids to our players, a boy in the hospital with a case of incurable acne listening to the games on the radio, an alien who would only make it home if our school covered the spread in the final game so he'd win enough to buy plutonium to make it back to his planet.  A hooker with a heart of gold and a free afternoon to spend with a determined bunch of high school boys. But nooooo....I used real people and actual events. I was such a fool.

(CarolynT) Along those lines, did you experience a noticeable increase in perspiration? Desperation? Intimidation?

(Dudski)  It was intimidating.  People kept disappearing. The first week there were two bloggers who just vanished. Then after the next assignment there were more. Pretty soon there were just 8 of us. Every time I looked around more of my friends had vanished. It was like being the coach of the UNC football team.

(CarolynT)  It was a contest.  Two bloggers were eliminated each time.  Weren't you paying attention?

(Dudski)  Well, not really.  Say, do you know how to spell Novits,  Nowitz.....you know the German guy who plays for the Mavericks?  Speaking of stuff I can't spell, you mentioned schadenfreude in one of your blogs.  Do you think that will automatically knock you out of NGS III?  And did you experience it while reading my blogs during NGS 2?

(CarolynT) I experienced something when I read your blogs but I think it was indigestion. I don't think it knocks me out of NGSIII (Three dammit! 3! Why must we type III??? It's a *&# three!). No one remembers the losers or their schadenfreude references. Hopefully. But thanks for bringing it up!

Tomorrow, part III, "Revenge of the Conclusion"