There isn't a scarier combination in terms of  the detrimental effect two things can have on a person's mental well-being.  As this is a sports blog, I won't go into how I joined the ranks of the unemployed.  I will discuss how being unemployed and a fantasy football zealot is a more dangerous combination than being an ex-drug addict in possession of his relative's crack pipe in terms of how you want the outside world to look at you.  

I'm gonna fess up to it right away.  I emailed a fantasy football columnist the other day.  It was my first time in ten years of fantasy football. I swear.  I wasn't proud.  And it wasn't a "Who should I start this week, Larry Johnson or Ryan Moats?" question either.  I was dogging the guy because his site's "analysis" wasn't any type of meaningful analysis and I couldn't take it anymore.  Rather, for three weeks in a row, it says you shouldn't start player X.  Finally, after the guy blows up for the fourth straight week, he's suddenly a "must start," with no mention of the previous three weeks.  He didn't write me back.  I deserved it.  I should have CCed a therapist and the three temp services I am registered with on the email just to show them what I have become.  Has anyone hit the employment lottery more than a fantasy football analyst?  I seriously doubt it.  Fantasy football analysts are as necessary to the world as dog-groomers and party-planners.  God bless'em for convincing somebody to give them a paycheck though.  I am more jealous of them than I am of the guys who win the "Dr. Pepper football challenge" and manage to miss their mark by more than the CEO of Dr. Pepper would if he were playing.  Those drawings must be rigged.  I would love to see a Dr. Pepper halftime challenge where old, miserably failed former NFL quarterbacks lilke Akili Smith and Ryan Leaf get to compete for the money.  That would be so funny that I'm sure I wouldn't get nearly as angry when they missed so badly.

Anyway, I am in a fantasy league with guys who have all been playing for a very long time.  Four weeks ago I made a trade and have been in a huge message board debate ever since over its validity.  I won't bore you with the players involved or the details or why I did it.  The point is that if I would have spent 1/10 of the thought I put into my career plans back in college as I have into these message board posts over the past four weeks, I could be a high ranking government official by now (Director of FEMA is one that comes to mind).  After referring to another guy who was arguing in my favor as Johnnie Cochran, I actually wrote to the guy who has been arguing with me, "If the Colts and Edge quit....you must admit."  This is a 100% true story.  Witty?  Yes.  Worth the three minutes it took me to come up with it?  No.  This is my life.  Feel sorry for me. 

Ok, that's it for my first blog as I'm pretty sure no one is actually going to read this and I am wasting yet more of my very invaluable time.  I'm pretty sure this is just another elaborate way someone came up with to get my e-mail address.  However, If people do read this and this is somehow legit, please let me know asap so I can direct all of my friends to this sight and they can overexaggerate how much they enjoyed reading this.