First off, if anyone is frightened because I made them think that Coolio is performing at the Rose Bowl's halftime show, I apologize.  But if you're a Coolio fan (I don't know, maybe Coolio was your next door neighbor growing up or something), make sure you make it to the end of this post for a pretty funny Coolio anecdote.

As I wait for the NFL to start, here is today's topic:  The cross-hybridnation of college football and hip-hop over the past couple of years.  Don't get me wrong, I love Tupac and Biggie as much as the next guy, but I really think this is starting to get out of hand.  Check out these 100% true quotes from Vince Young.  My buddy who is in grad school at UT and sent me the link:

"They haven't seen some of the guys on our team that [are] gangster," Young said. "We've got some guys who are going to talk some trash. We're not going to let them talk in our face."

Young pointed out that few teams verbally stood up to the Trojans, giving Notre Dame credit for talking back to the jabbering defending champions.

Though the Trojans sideline will likely include celebrities, Young hinted on bringing out some big names to the Texas side.

"We can get Jay-Z, Beyonce on our line," Young said. "We can get a lot of people on our line."

If you think I might be making this up for some reason, check out the full article at http://www.dailytexanonline.com/  It was in the Dec. 6 issue.

Anyway, first LenDale White gets in the end zone and hands the ball to Snoop, now Vince Young is threatening the Trojans that his team is gangsta?  Where is this going to stop?  Are coin flips going to be replaced with battle rap competitions between the captains?  Will all sideline reporters be required to wear doo-rags?  Is Pete Carrol going to get a 15 yard personal foul called for pistol-whipping Mack Brown on the way to the locker room before halftime?  It sounds kind of scary to be a fan at one of these games.  By the way, did anyone else know that Charlie Weis and Notre Dame were gangsta?  I had no idea.  I guess that's why the Pats were so good.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Young is going to start name-dropping and say he can get Jay-Z and Beyonce on Texas's sideline?  That is just ridiculous.  Can you picture Tony Dorsett boasting to his opponent that Earth, Wind, and Fire were going to be on Pitt's sideline during a game?  I cant.

And then, of course, in a related story, there's Miami's 7th Floor Crew.  The funniest part about this story is that it actually became a story.  "Oh my God, a college football team objectifying women, that's outrageous!   Those Miami players really are all thugs!"  Please.  If you told me that Penn State's football team had their own 7th Floor Crew and JoePa was dropping the beats, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.  The Miami players are simply the only guys dumb enough to record a song like that and let it get out, with a special "Smart Guy" award going to the player who actually mentioned his jersey number.  Little known fact.  The song that made it to the public was actually a remix.  That guy's original line was "I met your girl last night and found out she's a whore, I wear 52 cause that's my SAT score."   I know what you're thinking.  "You get more points than that on the SAT for signing your name so you're not so smart yourself."  Wrong.  That Miami dude actually f'ed up signing his name.  That's how he got a 52.

Ok, as promised, a funny Coolio anecdote.  Somebody who went to James Madison told me that a year or two before I got there, Coolio came to perform.  He walks on stage and actually greets the crowd with "What's up, John Madison!?!"  C'mon Coolio, James Madison was an important President.  You can get his name right.  I guess they don't have history books in Gangsta's Paradise.

One more thing.  A while back, I said that I don't think anyone should refer to themselves in the third person if at all possible.  I forgot one exception.  If you're a guy and you p*** your girl off, start apologizing to her in a really deep voice like the guy who was in Boyz II Men (i.e. "Girl, you know Andy's sorry.  You know Andy didn't mean to not ask you where you wanted to go to eat.  He knows that was wrong.).  The girl will find it so charming and funny that she can't possibly still be mad at you.  I lent that secret to a friend and he can verify that it works like a charm.