Well Ohio State fans, the time has come to enjoy some crow.
LSU 38 - OSU 24...sigh.

It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold. Some have said the same about crow, but I disagree. So...just because I care - I have provided you with some recipes that may help you stand the bitter bird just a bit easier.

Having been a life-long Dallas Cowboy fan, I have had several long stretches in which I have had time to perfect some of these recipes.


CROW CASSEROLE (January Buckeye Pie)

1/2 dozen crow breasts 1/2 dozen strips bacon
1 qt. sauerkraut 1/3 c. chopped onion

In skillet brown the crow breasts, then place them on a 1 1/2" layer of sauerkraut in bottom of a casserole. Cover each piece of meat with a strip of bacon and sprinkle the onion over them. Cover the breast with another layer of sauerkraut and pour sauerkraut juice over it. Bake two hours in oven heated to 350 degrees.

*Tip: Since your tears are naturally salty, crying a bit over the casserole, after removing from the stove, can add just that extra bit of needed seasoning that makes the dish special.

Crow and Mushroom Stew (Button and Buckeye Stew)

3 crows 2 Tbsp cream
1 Tbsp lard/shortening 1/2 cup mushrooms
1 pint stock or gravy salt and pepper
cayenne pepper
(this should be easy to find in Lousianna - may even be on the table)

Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them.
Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste.
Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir in cream.
Arrange the mushrooms around the crows on a hot platter.

*Note: The pieces are big for a reason - it is supposed to be hard to swallow. For some reason it is easier to pallete when eating it with friends and making excuses about the referees costing us the game - so be sure to invite your entire National Championship party entourage over for some.

Potted Crow: (BCS Buckeye Surprise)

6 crows 1 diced onion
3 bacon slices 1 diced carrot
stuffing of your choice chopped parsley
hot water or stock 1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup shortening buttered toast

Clean and dress crows; stuff and place them upright in stew-pan on the slices of bacon. Add the carrot, onion and a little parsley, and cover with boiling water or stock.
Cover the pot and let simmer for 2-3 hours, or until tender, adding boiling water or stock when necessary.
Make a sauce of the shortening and flour and 2 cups of the stock remaining in the pan.
Serve each crow on a thin slice of moistened toast, and pour gravy over all.

*Tip: if you soak buckeyes in water for about a week, you can get this great bitter horse-chestnut sauce, pictured below, to pour over your dish. This reason is that you don't want to actually enjoy this dish - or you could be in danger of being the next Notre Dame.

TAKE HEART BUCKEYE FANS

On the upside, you can see that Ohio State will probably be better next year than they were this year. The 2006 recruiting class is starting to come into its own and may be good enough to win it all in spite of idiotic defensive coaching decisions made on their behalf. Only time will tell.

This is the time that I am supposed to say "better luck next year." - But I won't - because I don't mean it.

One last thing. This is for a few special people - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE - SEC is 7-2 in bowl games this year. The Big Ten? 3-5.

...next!