--You can hold out and demand a huge new contract after 1 season of above average statistics.

--You can call out your quarterback as being an out-of-shape bum who burned out at the end of the most important game of your team's season, and perhaps both of your own careers.

--You can speak publicly about a teammate's ongoing contract issues with the team, call him selfish, demand he shows up to training camp, then hold your team hostage the following year by not giving any answer as to whether or not you think you might play another season.

--You can start a verbal war in the media with your coach, claiming that he's not allowing you to play your game, and he can claim you're not allowing his coaching to improve not just you, but the entire team.

--How about getting caught with a whizzinator in an airport?

--Maybe chewing out your teammates and coaches on the sideline in a game you don't feel the ball is being thrown your way enough.

--Quitting in the second half of game 7 in the NBA playoffs.  (I'm going to hear about this one I just know it)

--How about retiring from the NBA to pursue your dream of looking foolish in the White Sox minor league system?

--Telling team management the only way you will sign a new contract when you become a free agent is if they get rid of the other guy(s) who take away chances for you to be "The Man".

--Then, what may actually be the ultimate screw job....getting caught by the league's drug squad, and getting suspended from the next 5 playoff games, in which your team is currently in the middle of a hard core series against the Miami Heat and the biggest big man of them all, Shaq.  Yeah, I think that's it.  Since you are one of the 3 or 4 guys who are expected to take a few turns at trying to guard the big man.  The only thing that could make it worse, is if you were actually a major contributor in the box score more than once every other week.

So if you, or any of your close friends need some tips on how to shaft the team you play on, coach, or handle the water distribution duties, take a look here.  You may find a new way to teach them a lesson, in case that x-lax in their coffee isn't getting you the results you hoped for thus far.