sports?  yeah, we got sports, but sport-ish stuff is betterer

while watching the news the other day, i caught some ridiculous race over in russia i believe, where women put on high heels and sprint 100 meters (or yards, whatever form of measurement the ruskis use).

this should be a weekly event, if not twice a week on the east coast network.

a second show is in the works for drag queens, but the jury is out on how popular it would be.

more x games.  why?  i have no idea

more people lacking brain cells flying around on skateboards, motorcycles, pogo sticks, and skis is what we need. 

does surfing qualify as an x game?  i might be interested in seeing near naked surfing chicks.

international potato peeling competition

shoot, my mom would win this going away.  on second thought, all contestents will be required to use a chain saw.

bonus points for accidentally taking an arm off should martha stewart enter.

if tractor pulling qualifies as a sport, this should too.

ever try to stick a sharpened pencil in the ceiling?  you'll love this show, and if you hurry, you can still get into the competition.  deadline for entry is august 12th.

no safety equipment will be provided, so i'd go easy on the trash talk.  some dudes just want to hurt people.

pro-am target shooting

we all know pro athletes (and stars in college and high school) never get in trouble for playing with guns.  why not see how good they really are?  this is your chance to prove you could drop a deer (or unsuspecting female reporter) from 500 yards away.

you'll need to sign a waiver stating you will not seek criminal charges should you win and the athlete you were competing against shoots you for talking trash.

krispy kreme donut eating contest

this is designed for women only.  the bigger the better (shooter likes 'em that way)

minimum weight of 400 pounds is required, and you get to choose the beverage you wash it all down with.

middle eastern camel races

we need to entertain our troops better.  we'll send over a bunch of D-list celebrities (like kathy griffin and pauly shore) to ride the wild ones.

who cares how long they stay on or if they ever reach the finish line.  this is like watching hockey for the fights.  we want blood and broken bones (not the camels either).

if you have any more ideas, you're welcome to add them.