Spider-Man, Batman, and Popeye, the Story of Darryl and Barry

Curly Morris

                When I was a kid I was a huge Spider-Man fan. I tried to get my hands on every single comic book that featured the web-slinger. The fact that Spider-Man had superhuman strength, and could swing through the city uninhibited was merely part of the reason I was so enamored with wise cracking wall crawler. By stark contrast I was never a big Batman fan. Aside from the fact that Batman was a member of the DC Comics roster, which could never have even hoped to be nearly as cool as the super heroes that graced the covers of Marvel Comics, there was always something disenfranchising about Batman's dark, brooding ambiance that always made me feel disconnected to the crime fighter with more gadgets than even MacGyver could've imagined. Even as a child, I knew deep down in my soul that I could never be Batman. Batman obviously had a ton of money, I mean, what other super hero has a butler? Where is the triumph in the face of adversity there? On the other hand, Spider-Man was a geek just like me. Peter Parker, Spider-Man's alter ego, was a ninety-eight pound weakling, a nerd who loved science, and was absolutely terrified of talking to girls. Peter Parker had a crappy job, yet he was forced to look after people who were dependent on him for their survival. The entire city needed the geeky Peter Parker to don a spandex suit and save them from villains so many times, it often made you wonder whether or not there any police working, ever. Yet, even though Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man was responsible for saving tens of thousands of lives, worked a low paying job to support his widowed aunt, loved a woman so passionately that he sacrificed his own dreams to save her life, he was always reviled in the press. The Daily Bugle, Spidey's hometown rag, never took the time to notice the obvious humanity that was present in Spidey. John Jameson, the Bugle's editor, never considered reporting the struggle Spidey faced trying to balance his super hero life with his weak, regular guy life. In the face of all that weight to bear, Spidey never complained. Peter Parker went out and did the best he could, and apologized to us for his shortcomings. I used to always think to myself, if I was Spider-Man I would at least rob one bank! Of course, that would've immediately validated all the harsh things that the Bugle tried so hard to have the city believe about him. Most importantly, if Spidey had turned to crime, even for one instant, he would've lost not only the legions of fans that did in fact root for him to succeed, but he would've more importantly lost the very foundation that made him compelled to look out for the "Average Joe". Spidey was the "Average Joe", and that's why I've always been a Spider-Man fan. Batman, on the other hand, was inaccessible. Bruce Wayne, Batman's alter-ego, was an incredibly successful businessman, who lived high on the hog. Batman moved in the shadows, and relished his role as the "Dark Knight". Bruce Wayne existed on a financial perch that of course meant I would have to overcome two hurdles in order to duplicate his efforts. First of all in order to be Batman, you have to be rich. Spidey had his super powers thrust upon him by fate, not by his own choice. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider, and his spider powers developed internally. Batman, after his rise to financial prominence, decided that he'd probably be the best person to tackle the city's crime problem, pretty presumptuous huh? All in all, Batman did in fact save countless lives as well. The "Caped Crusader" estowed the virtues and integrity as both a businessman, and super hero that any parent would be proud to have their child adopt. The city leaders of Gotham, where Batman a.k.a. Bruce Wayne lived did in fact call him whenever there was an emergency. Yet, there was something about the fact that he had all of those gadgets, and toys that always seemed to be on his person right when he needed them, and the fact that he built most, if not all of them himself, that made the aspiration of being Batman a bit too much for an inner city kid like me. It never crossed my mind that like all ecological systems, for all things to survive, there has to be sustenance to evolve not only in as much volume as the components needed to consume them, but at the same point in time and history, huh? What I'm trying to say is this, if you need super heroes, then you must already have super villains.

                It is the super villain that necessitates a man having to call upon unseen or unimaginable resources to level the playing the field. The skinny guy on the beach needs to lift weights to counter-act the bully kicking sand in his face. Unfortunately as "Mr. Skinny" beach guy begins his weight training regimen; the bully is still working out as well, and already has a head start. "Mr. Skinny" would need an instant equalizer in order to save face in front of the girls and onlookers at the beach, something to give him a competitive edge. Weightlifting could take forever, and it may still not give Mr. Skinny an advantage. Mr. Skinny would have to turn to another cartoon character to find an instant equalizer, and that character would be none other than Popeye.

                Popeye first appeared on the scene way back in 1929. In the year of 1929, car radios, strained baby food, and scotch tape were invented, Ernest Hemingway's novel A Farewell to Arms was published, Martin Luther King Jr. was born, the Red Sox traded the greatest slugger in baseball, and of course, the Stock Market crashed. Popeye's

Arch enemy was a guy named "Bruto" who sported an unkempt full beard reminiscent of the stereotypical facial hair associated with male citizens of the U.S.S.R, the country that was the absolute arch enemy of the Unites States and all of its population. Even though Bruto was bigger and stronger than Popeye, the underdog sailor had an instant equalizer for Bruto's obviously superior physical prowess. All Popeye had to do to win the affection of the most un-sexy cartoon woman ever drawn, Olive Oyl, was down a can of spinach (which is good for you!), and instantly he could knock Bruto out of the stratosphere in a single blow, save face, and save the day for all. Well gee whiz, if I had been alive in 1929, I would've been stocking up on spinach by the truckload! If all I had to do was knock down a nice can of leafy green veggies, and I could knock guys like Bruto into another time zone, why would I hesitate?! Forget Bruto, once I disposed of him, I could be the bully from that point forward and have all of the Olive Oyls I wanted. Popeye showed us the quick way to super strength, and we never forgot that somewhere, someplace, there was a shortcut, even if it tasted nasty.

                Seventeen years before Popeye first graced Elize Seagar's comic strip "The Thimble Theatre", the United States of America had already seen an athletic "superhero" in James Francis (Jim) Thorpe. The young man indigenous to the soil he represented in the 1912 Sweden Olympics had won gold medals in both the pentathlon as well as decathlon. Mr. Thorpe also played football and baseball professionally. Nine years before Popeye hit the comics, and the Boston Red Sox traded away the first undisputed long ball legend George Herman (Babe) Ruth; Jim Thorpe had become the first president of the American Football Association (later to become the NFL). In spite of his accomplishments in an era where he was considered a second class human being on his home soil, Thorpe's daughter Grace had to fight almost eight decades later to have the international Olympic Committee return the two gold medals that had been stripped from him because he had played semi-professional baseball at an Indian Industrial School. To put the financial climate at the time into perspective, at that time General Motors was paying it's employees a whopping seven dollars per hour, so I doubt very seriously if Jim Thorpe could've managed to buy any sort of competitive edge over his competitors in Sweden, nevertheless, the concept of sporting events being a true measure of one athlete's natural and refined ability against another could not afford to be tainted by giving one athlete an instant advantage over his opponent, monetarily or not. Rules are rules in sport you know, that's why most athletic events have referees or some facsimile of such, to enforce the rules and make sure that every one starts out on a level playing field. There was a time, not too long ago when the achievement was in the effort, the accomplishment was in being fit to compete, the glory was in the eyes of the admirers who recognized an athlete's dedication and hard work. It is on these principles that tens of thousands of people who are considered "challenged" by society's normal population compete in something called "The Special Olympics" every year worldwide. P.E. classes all over the world are designed to develop a sense of camaraderie, teamwork, self esteem, good health, and achievement through strenuous physical effort. We've all heard the clich