To read these stories about the Cowboys' loss to the Giants in yesterday's playoff game, you'd think this was an upset; that people (read: EVERYONE) hadn't been predicting this all week. Yet instead of giving credit to Eli Manning and the Giants, who went on the road and played nearly mistake-free football, everyone is taking the easy, obvious route and piling on Tony Romo and the Cowboys, who were apparently the '89 Niners until yesterday's game.

The Cowboys have been playing terrible football for the last month, while the Giants have been The Little Engine that Could, nearly knocking off the Patriots in the Meadowlands (though some people suggested Tom Coughlin rest his players for the post-season), winning on the road in round one versus the Buccaneers and owning all the momentum coming into Sunday's game against the Cowboys. If you spoke to any football fan this past week, did a single one of them say, "Man, Romo is gonna shut everyone up and lead the Cowboys right to the Super Bowl!"?

And no, Jerry Jones doesn't count.

The Cowboys might have been the #1 seed in the NFC, but come playoff time, they weren't playing the best football in the Short Bus conference. In that way, they were similar to the 2005 Indianapolis Colts, who had to answer questions about trying to go undefeated for half the season, then lost to the Chargers at home late in the season, then rested starters, and then played flat against the Steelers in the divisional round. Like the Giants this year, that Steelers team had been playing playoff-like football for several weeks before the post-season even started.

Not since 1993 (the Bills and the Cowboys) have the #1 seeds in each conference made it to the Super Bowl, and that trend continues. But for all the faux shock exhibited by fans, talking heads and Jessica Simpson-haters, the Cowboys' loss to the Giants wasn't the least bit surprising. In fact, it was practically pre-ordained - by everyone. Simpson didn't need to stay away from the stadium to avoid jinxing her boyfriend and the Cowboys. Dallas was jinxed already, because they knew (and we knew it too) that the Giants were playing good enough to go into Dallas and beat them.

Simple-minded people can point to Yoko Romo or the trip to Cabo, but the fact of the matter is, the Giants are a better team than some people were willing to admit, while the Cowboys were a tad bit overrated.

Thanks to Dallas Clark's stubborn unwillingness to make a game-saving catch against the Chargers on Sunday, San Diego will now represent Mankind in the AFC Championship Game against the New England Patriots, a.k.a.,The Team Everyone is Rooting Against, even many Pats fans, though they're doing it subconsciously. Like many upstanding citizens, I felt Mankind's best chance for decapitating the three-headed Cerberus - Brady, Belichick and Gisele - was Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. Manning, whose ubiquity is matched only by Beyonce, is hard to dislike, so rooting for him would have been tolerable. But rooting for Philip Rivers, Shawne Merriman and A.J. Smith, the general manager of the San Diego Chargers? Ugh, is there any way the game can be canceled?

Rivers is a putz. There's no two ways about it. You can attribute his trash-talking antics to a competitive nature, but I prefer to attribute it to human nature: Some people are tools, and some people open hardware stores. Rivers is Ace Hardware, and he's selling his wares 24/7/365. How else do you explain his actions at the end of Sunday's game when, with the game in hand and a Chargers win assured, he walks over to the stands behind the San Diego bench and talks smack to some well-oiled Colts fans, one of whom had the good sense to flash Rivers the international hand sign for "get bent"? That's Mickey Mouse stuff, and the kind of immature, asinine behavior that prevents me from rooting for Rivers and the Chargers. Maybe San Diego will realize it won the game with Ace Hardware on the bench, and so start Billy Volek.

With any luck, Rivers is so hurt that Volek will need to QB San Diego in next week's AFC title game versus the Patriots, a team predicated on cheating and outscoring their opponent -- and yes, necessarily in that order. I can get behind Billy Volek, because Volek's had as much success in the NFL as Philip Rivers, yet has the good sense not to act like Joe Montana after six bottles of Robitussin.

If San Diego wants Mankind to get behind the team in its contest versus the Patriots, the Chargers should start Billy Volek next Sunday in the AFC title game. He might not give the team the best chance to win, but he gives it the best chance to win with a modicum of class. So stay classy, San Diego: Euthanize Philip Rivers.

Is there a bigger sham award than the Associated Press Comeback Player of the Year? This "honor," by its very design, raises the bar for Stupidest Barroom Discussion. Just consider its dictate: "The player named Comeback Player of the Year shows perseverance in overcoming adversity, in the form of not being in the NFL the previous year, a severe injury, or simply poor performance." Given that broad definition, my money's on Pacman Jones in 2008.

Greg Ellis of the Cowboys won this year's award (with 12 votes out of 50), after overcoming a torn Achilles' tendon and a position change. Good for him, it's nice he got healthy and made a successful transition. But what's interesting is that New England wide receiver Randy Moss -- who unabashedly admits to taking off plays and who basically pouted his way out of Oakland -- finished second with 10 votes, ahead of Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethslisberger (7 votes), who nearly died in a motorcycle accident AND had an emergency appendectomy, but returned this season, put up career numbers (32 TDs, second-best QB rating to Tom Brady) and made his first Pro Bowl. Did he "come back" from more than Moss did? I don't know, I'm not going to bother arguing one case over the other, because it's a moronic discussion. How moronic? Well, check out the other players who received votes for Comeback Player of the Year.

Brett Favre 5
Jamal Lewis 5
Bobby Engram 3
Patrick Kerney 2
Derek Anderson 2
Amani Toomer 1
Albert Haynesworth 1
Mario Williams 1
Andre Carter 1

Derek Anderson? What did he come back from? Watching Charlie Frye suck? It's ridiculous that these players above should ever be mentioned in the same discussion. I mean, what does Brett Favre, whom everyone loves and wants to impregnate, have to do with Albert Haynesworth? How are their respective situations the least bit comparable? Favre's main target, Donald Driver, managed to stay healthy this season, and Ryan Grant emerged as a viable running threat, so Favre and the Packers came back from mediocrity. Meanwhile, Haynesworth, who tried to play soccer with the head of a Cowboys lineman last year and was suspended for 5 games -- the most for an on-field incident in NFL history -- "came back" and didn't act like an anti-social deviant. Hurray!

America, we all know, loves second acts. It's an oft-repeated truism that we're a forgiving country. But for the Associated Press, the so-called bastion of journalistic integrity, to lend its name to this particular award is shameful. More shameful than lending its name to the Most Valuable Player award or other honors? Yes, by far. Why? Because there's no reasonable basis for discussing this award. The definition they use is so broad and flexible that Michael Vick might one day win it -- or, at the very least, receive a few votes.

Hey, I'm all for giving kudos to players like Greg Ellis. But when his work is confused with the work of Straight Cash Homey, then the conversation ground rules need to be redefined. Or, better yet -- the conversation needs to be canceled altogether.

The Associated Press needs to stop lending its name to the Comeback Player of the Year Award. The award is an insult to fans' intelligence and an insult to the Associated Press itself.

"Oh, Dennis, I feel so safe in your arms."

If you perused the front page of ESPN.com today, you'd think the best college basketball game on this afternoon was one of these three: UNC/NC State, Georgetown/UConn or Kansas Nebraska. Of course it's not. But since the World Wide Leader is televising those three games, and not the Vanderbilt/Kentucky game - which is airing on CBS - it's understandable that Bristol would try to con its fans.

#12 Vanderbilt has beaten Kentucky in its last four meetings, but that's all moot, because this is the classic trap game: Vanderbilt is undefeated and prompting its fans to dream of the Final Four, while Kentucky is 6-7 and prompting its fans to dream of defenestrating Billy Gillespie. Kentucky, despite its troubles this season, will not lay down for the Commodores. When you've been kicking a school's butt for more than half a century, it doesn't matter if you're gurgling on your own entrails - you'll summon the character to play winning basketball.

Schools like Tennessee and Kentucky define themselves, in part, by their continued ability to humiliate the likes of Vanderbilt. Vandy could have gone to its first bowl game in 25 years if it'd held on to win against the Vols in Knoxville in November. They didn't, and then lost their closing game to Wake Forest, which meant the Dores and their fans were shut out of the bowl season again. It'd be funny (and it is to non-Vandy fans) if it weren't so effing sad.

This tendency to suck at the worst possible time extends to all the major sports.

Vanderbilt's baseball team was the #1 seed in the College World Series last year, yet didn't even make it out of regional play, losing twice to Michigan. In doing so, the Dores were the first team EVER seeded #1 not to advance out of the first round. Hurray! This, of course, followed the men's basketball team's heartbreaking loss to Georgetown in the Sweet 16 in East Rutherford, N.J., when Jeff Green walked across my grave. The women's basketball team? Always ranked, but never on par with schools like UConn and Tennessee. Last year the school won its first NCAA title in teams sports -- in women's bowling. (Don't bother looking for T-shirts at the online bookstore, though. They're sadly nonexistent.)

In short, Vanderbilt has been THIS close in a lot of the big-name sports: THIS close to going to a bowl game; THIS close to beating Georgetown and maybe going to the Final Four; and THIS close to not embarrassing ourselves in the College World Series.

Today Vanderbilt plays Kentucky, in a game they should win. Then, on Thursday, they play a very good Tennessee team in Knoxville. If the Dores can win both games, they'll be 18-0, and the clear favorite in the SEC. Would they actually be able to handle THIS? Don't ask me. Like all Vandy alums, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Until it doesn't, THIS is the Vandy I know (and sometimes loathe).