So four Minnesota Vikings were charged today with misdemeanors in conjunction with the team's bye-week boat party: Daunte, Mount, Smoot, and Moe. Sounds like a law firm with offices in hell.

I wonder if the president of the Philadelphia chapter of the NAACP will criticize Culpepper for his role in the matter. Or is this the type of quarterback that blacks like to see? Culpepper has achieved one-quarter of the success of Donovan McNabb in the NFL, and yet he seems to get a pass from most critics. He's never led them to an NFC title game, much less four conference title games and a Super Bowl. Perhaps it's because Culpepper has more street cred than Mr. Campbell's Soup. But is McNabb supposed to apologize because he's marketable and likeable?

McNabb has taken heat for not being a scrambling quarterback, in one of the most inane attacks since Larry Lucchino snarled that the Yankees were the Evil Empire. But if McNabb was on that boat in Minnesota, and he'd been charged with lewd acts like Culpepper is, you can be sure that he'd be taking abuse from all sides.

But Culpepper's career won't suffer for this. He has no image to uphold, so what's he have to worry about? This is the kind of thing that would probably endear him to that jackass president of the Philadelphia chapter of the NAACP.

"You go, Daunte. You get some, you get whatever you can. We still love ya, ya scrambling, fumbleitis, turnover-prone, brother. Rehab that knee now. You got a long mediocre career ahead of you."

Pathetic.

 

The Winter Olympics is only weeks away, which prompts some random thoughts. Admit it, you're amped. No? Well consider that it falls right during the sports dead zone - after the Super Bowl (which will be won by the Steelers) and right before March Madness (which will be won by Vanderbilt; women's side too). This is going to be a great sports season for us Vanderbilt alums who root for all things yellow and gold. Not only that, but the first World Baseball Classic will be going on during March Madness. And after that MLB starts, followed by the playoffs in hockey and hoops (yawn). And then comes the Grand Daddy - the World Cup in soccer. This is going to be a great year of sports, from now through the end of the soccer tourney in Germany. God willing, the US team won't embarrass. By the way, after watching the curling event on "The Amazing Race," I have a newfound respect for how stupidly brilliant that sport is. I swear, the Winter Olympics almost makes you wish you were unemployed. Not so you could go to Italy and freeze your butt off in person. But so you could sit on your couch and watch it wire to wire. Ya know, except for the figure skating. (Anything that requires judges is not a sport.) Hockey? Long jump? Bob Costas pontificating even more than the pope? Sign me up. I love the Winter Olympics. Beats the Summer Olympics by a mile. Btw, can we please get some designated seasons for poker, Nascar and golf? No one should have to endure those so-called sports year-round. Make poker an outdoor sport, Nascar a winter sport, and golf a fall sport - played between Columbus and Veterans' Day. I'd watch poker if these "sportsmen" would shed their sunglasses. And I'd definitely watch NASCAR if it was run in the snow. I lived in Nashville for several years, and believe me, rednecks can't drive in the snow.

Over the years my friends and I come back to two sports debates repeatedly:

1. What is a sport and what is not?

2. Should Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame?

Those are the only two timeless sports debates. Everything else shifts with the tides.

Like, Who's the greatest basketball player? Jordan or Wilt? LeBron or my unborn son? Changes all the time.

Should Jim Rice be in the Hall of Fame? Well, in this era of post-steroids revelations, his statistics now look Ruthian...

Is Tiger better than Jack?

Is UCLA a better basketball school than Georgetown or North Carolina?

ad infinitum.....the argument changes depending on who has been added to the mix.

But the two questions I posed are the only two which seem timeless, which can probably never be answered, which don't change, and which say an awful lot about the responders. So, let me put it out there:

1. What do you think is not a sport, though it's genuinely considered a sport by many? (My answer is NASCAR, b/c drive fast and turn left is not a sport. Then again, I don't think anything that involves moving parts -- bike racing, car racing, sailing -- is a sport either. Nor do I think golf is a sport. A skill, not a sport -- to know the difference, play me in foos ball.) 

2. Should Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame? I say no. Not unless -- and Bob Costas, I believe, suggested this -- his plaque includes a reference to his ban from baseball for BETTING on baseball. Even then I'm not sure I want him in there. But ask me again when I've had two more beers, and I might sit a little lower on the bar stool.

P.S. Jim Rice does belong in the Hall of Fame! Check USA Today sports section today. For the 16 years he played, no one else had more home runs or ribbies during that time in the AL.

BTW, how often do you find yourself stumbling over the phrase, "I read in USA Today....today....that...."?

 

 

 

 

Michael Vick reminds me of Bobby John, the hick from "Survivor: Guatemala." He's all uncontrolled energy, and always hurting himself by trying to do too much. Bobby John never had a prayer of winning. He couldn't get out of his own way half the time. He'd chop down a tree and the damn thing would fall on him. Vick's the same way. His career figures to be short and spectacular, and I doubt he'll ever win a title. The urge to do too much cannot be easily subdued. Maybe the only way he'd become a pocket passer is if we was unable to run anymore. God knows McNair became a better player when he ran less. It's unfortunate, because I think Vick is a winner. But in a way, I feel bad for Falcons fans, because the other shoe is always about to drop. Move him to wideout now and let Matt Schaub throw to him.

Everyone seen the picture of him on the front page of ESPN.com? It looks like a clip from a WWE wrestling skit: the microphone, the haggard-looking guy in the black trucker hat. "Clubber, what's your prediction for the fight?" Seriously, this is one of the weirdest stories in recent sports history. First his mom gets kidnapped, then they rescue her, then he gets accused of taking a machete to some serfs living on his property. It's straight out of a Cormac McCarthy book. Urbina submarined my fantasy baseball team on more than occasion, but that doesn't mean I like seeing him in a Venezuelan jail. Now, Mike Lowell would be a different story.