"F.  U.  C.   K.  OFF YOU TOSSER, I HOPE YOU BREAK YOUR LEG!"
"I HAD YOUR WIFE LAST WEEK!"
THE PRE GAME PLEASNATRIES IN THE ENFORCED SERIE A HANDSHAKE CEREMONY!


EASIER THAN SCORING WITH TOTTI'S WIFE!


EH LADS! ANYONE GOT A DUMMY (COMFORTER) FOR THAT MISERABLE SMEG TOTTI!


GILARDINO COULDN'T SCORE WITH TOTT'IS WIFE!


SUPERPIPPO COULDN'T EITHER!


1000 MALDINI APPEARANCES CAN'T HIDE MILAN'S AWFUL PERFORMANCE AGAINST PARMA!


DAVID, THEY ARE SO SOFT!  JUST WHAT DO YOU USE ON YOUR HANDS?
PIG FAT AND DUCK LIVERS - WORKS A TREAT!


EY-UP! SPIN TWO THREE! TURN TWO THREE! LEAVE THESE TWO FAT GENOANS IN THE DUST TWO THREE!
ITALIAN MADMAN LIVENS UP AN OTHERWISE AWFUL GAME WITH SOME STUNNING SKILLS!


BABY! YES! OH YES! IT WENT IN!
MAGGIO SCORES AFTER SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SET UPS! 

F.  U.  C.  K. ING BRILLIANT

I AM THE GOD OF GOALS

F.  U.  C.  K.  ING BRILLIANT

I AM MUTU

THE ROMANIAN GOD OF GOALS

THE GAS FIRE THIER WAY INTO THE QUARTER FINALS
C'MON YOU GAS!

1-0 TO THE BLUEBIRDS!


JIMMY FLOYD STILL BANGING IN THE GOALS!


FAT FRANK GETS A TON!


HUDDERSFIELD GET A LIFELINE!


ONLY FOR FAT FRANK TO CRUSH THEM!


A DELERIOUSLY HAPPY BAGGIE!


A SKY BLUE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ELSE TO BLAME!


FINALLY KICK THE BALL INTO THE NET INSTEAD OF JUST KICKING SOMEONES BALLS!


THE LIVERPOOL SCHOOL OF DEFENDING - CARRAGHER'S MASTERCLASS!


TYKES MAIN MAN HOWARD GRABS THE LATE WINNER AT ANFIELD!


WHO ARE YOU !
WHO ARE YOU!
WHO ARE YOU!



MIERDE!  BEATEN BY SOME SMEGGING SHOPKEEPERS, NAPOLEON WILL BE TURNING IN HIS GRAVE!


SOME SORT OF WIERD FRENCH GOALSCORING RITUAL HELPS FLETCHER TO GRAB A GOAL!



CALAMITY SHOWS HIS JOY AT A QUARTER FINAL SPOT!

Serie A proved to be a mix of the mundane, the farcical and the sublime this week.  Although looking back it has those properties every week. 

 

 

Roma crashed away at Juventus, given the Giallorossi's record in Turin it is still a surprise. 

 

Ranierii picked an  attacking if unfamiliar three man attack.  Sure they seemed to have plenty of the ball early on and had a few half chances, but in reality the majority of the Bianconeri crosses in the first half went AWOL, Camoranesi had a good game but was unable to unlock Roma.

Roma actually played a good tactical game in the first half, they sat back, built up attack slowly and tried to keep possession in the middle.  The majority of their crosses and balls into the box needed a Juventus boot or head to cut them out.

Roma always looked more threatening and composed. 

Nedved is a wily old campaigner and knows how to dive.  Sure the foot was stuck out, watch the replay, he starts the dive with his other leg.  That sort of play gets you a free kick in Italy. 

Let's not take away the excellent free kick from Del Piero, let's just point out the atrocious wall. 

Roma came out in the second half but the tactical nous of Ranierii saw Camoranesi withdrawn and Nocerino added.  So the Bianconeri have two holding midfielders, Roma get plenty of possession but failed to find that pass or that shot. 

Mr. Spalletti, clearly Totti is a talismanic figure in Rome, but clearly he was not fit today.  Playing him was pretty dumb.  Sure his touch can be sublime and his passing intricate but when he can't run to stab home a ball in the six yard box then he's just like a chocolate fire-guard.  Would Ranierii, Mancini, Ferguson, Wenger or Moyes play a crocked player?

 

Juventus:-

Buffon

Zebina

Legrottaglie

Chiellini

Molinaro

Camoranesi (Nocerino 46)

Zanetti

Nedved (Palladino 81)

Del Piero

Iaquinta

Trezeguet (Sissoko 67)

 

Goals:-

Del Piero 46

 

Bookings:-

Chiellini

 

 

AS Roma:-

Doni

Cassetti

Ferrari

Mexes

Tonetto

Pizarro (Aquilani 73)

De Rossi

Taddei (Giuly 60)

Perrotta (Esposito 82)

Mancini

Totti

 

Bookings:-

 

Goals:-

 

Referee:-

Saccani

 

 

Genoa lost at home to Sampdoria in a turgid game without much to recommend it. 

 

The bright start, Maggio and Di Vaio going reasonably close in the opening few minutes soon gave way to some really dire football. 

The two teams aren't solely to blame for this.  Them being two points off each other before kick off and local city rivals and having played to a draw earlier on in the season were just a backdrop. 

Fresh faced and freshly minted by FIFA Mr. Rizzoli; known for being card happy; had a total smegging 'mare of a game.  Breaking wind got you a stern look, spitting and he'd give a player the evil eye, make a goof strong derby tackle and he'd give s oft or stupid yellow. 

The teams cancelled each other out in a poor Derby game whilst the referee was happy to take Bob Marley at his word and "Every time I plant a seed,
He said kill it before it grow".  He had to do a Cartman and stamp his AUTHORITAH! On the game instead of letting it flow.  Then Rizzoli has the temerity to not book Delvecchio? 

 

Genoa had more possession but couldn't do much with it.  Sampdoria looked more threatening in attack but it took playing against ten men (a spurious couple of cards) and the eventual use of his eyes by Maggio to create the goal. 

Cassano was the one bright spot in the game, some brilliant passages of play and some entertaining whining flowed from the youngster.  Thankfully he didn't despair that the six other chances he handed to Maggio went AWOL and persevered to hand the midfielder the seventh. 

 

Genoa:-

Rubinho

Konko

De Rosa

Criscito

Rossi (Bovo 67)

Paro

Juric

Danilo

Milanetto (Lucarelli 64)

Borriello

Di Vaio (Figueroa 49)

 

Goals:-

 

Bookings:-

Juric

Paro

Danilo

Danilo (second get's sent off)

Konko

Criscitto

 

Sampdoria:-

Castellazzi

Campagnaro

Sala

Accardi

Maggio

Delvecchio (Volpi 68)

Palombo

Franceschini (Bonazzoli 83)

Pieri

Cassano (Ziegler 90)

Belluci

 

Bookings:-

Sala

Campagnaro

Cassano

Accardi

 

Goals:-

Maggio 87

 

Referee:-

Rizzoli

 

 

Injuries can be no excuse for this torpid and uninspiring display.  Top marks to Parma for making themselves hard to beat. 

 

Not much to say about this game.  Parma started the game with a point in mind and got it.  Milan started the game poorly and continued in that vein for the following ninety minutes. 

Even the highlights were awful. 

Ancellotti is praying for Pato. 

 

Parma:-

Bucci

Zennoni

Couto

Falcone

Castellini

Dessena

Morrone

Cigarini (Mariga 75)

Pisanu

Reginaldo (Gasbarroni 64)

Lucarelli (Budan 64)

 

Goals:-

 

 

AC Milan:-

Kalac

Cafu

Nesta

Kaladze

Jankulowski (Maldini 70)

Gattuso (Gilardino 46)

Emerson

Ambrosini

Serginho (Pirlo 46)

Kaka

Inzaghi

 

Goals:-

 

Referee:-

Dondarini

 

 

Adrian Mutu is sniffing around the capponcanoniere.  The Romanian is the difference in one of the best Italian games this weekend. 

 

Catania are hard to break down and have some good attacking options in Vargas, Pia and Martinez. 

Fiorentina are better away than at home although they have Mutu up front.  A good team with plenty in all departments. 

 

Catania shaded the game early on then Fiorentina got themselves straight and started to dominate possession although not chances. 

Some soft defending allowed Kuzmanovic to get between two defenders to nod home a cross for Fiorentina's opener. 

Mascara's introduction caused Fiorentina problems and more defensive fluffs (created no doubt from the dodgy Serbian 'keeper) led to a well executed goal from a corner, Vargas with the powerful shot from the sloppy clearance. 

The second half was end to end stuff, nail biting and well executed.  Mutu is the jewel in Prandelli's squad and a good knock down, powerful direct running and a blinder of a shot led to the winner for La Viola.  This was just after a passage of play that saw Fiorentina pushed back and Catania squander several half chances. 

This time Fiorentina weathered the late pressure and came away with a good three points. 

 

Fiorentina:-

Frey (Abramov 55)

Potenza

Dianelli

Gamberini

Pasqual

Donadel

Montolivo (Jorgenson 65)

Kuzmanovic

Santana (Semioli 76)

Mutu

Pazzini

 

Goals:-

Kuzmanovic 39

Mutu 70

 

Bookings:-

Mutu

Donadel

 

 

Catania:-

Polito

Alvarez

Silvestri

Stovini

Vargas

Baiocco

Izco

Biagianti (Mascara 46)

Martinez

Pia

Colucci

 

Bookings:-

Silvestri

 

Goals:-

Vargas 60

 

Referee:-

Banti

 

Catania's 433 would look like this is FSC were actually correct in their team graphics!:-

Polito

Stovini - a CB @ RB?

Vargas - a LB @ CB?

Izco - a CM @ CB?

Baiocco - a CM @ LB?

Silvestri - a CB @ CM?

Biagianti

Colucci - a F @ CM?

Pia

Alvarez - a RB @ F?

Martinez

That is just so dumb. 

 

 

Max Bretos and other commentators. 

Gotta single out the commentator here.  Firstly the team sheet for Catania was hopelessly WRONG.  The names of the players were correct but their location on the graphic was hopelessly lost.  Juan Vargas isn't a right back either.   Thankfully he didn't do the commentary. 

I'm sure that the people of Genoa love to hear tales about their nautical past but is it really necessary to waffle on about it during a football match. 

He wasn't the only muppet at the mike this weekend though.  Two normally reliable commentators; Richard Widdle and Paul Visca; seemed to think Juventus dominated the first half, surely they must have been bough some nice new Italian suits by Ranierii to be so blatantly pro Bianconeri. 

 

The bloke who did the Fiorentina game was excellent. 

 

Other Results.

 

Internaz ional 2 - 0 Livorno

The table toppers increase their hold on the Scudetto.  Suazo gets a pair and Livorno are glad to get out of Milan. 

 

Lazio 3 - 0 Atalanta

A surprise and welcome win for the Biancocelesti.  Back to the drawing board for Atalanta. 

 

Napoli 1 - 3 Empoli

Big trouble for the Azzurri with another loss.  With three sendings off it was a high tension game. 

 

Palermo 2 - 1 Cagliari

Guidolin's 'little girls' show some balls. 

 

Reggina 1 - 3 Udinese

Back into the European place scrap for Udinese, more woes for Reggina. 

 

Siena 0-0 Torino

Snore draw.  Hardly a surprise. 

THE END OF A PHENOMENON?

Serie A week 23 preview. 

 

Internaz ionale won again, so did Juventus and Roma.  Milan won then slipped up in midweek.  Udinese and Fiorentina lost ground, Sampdoria gained it.  Torino surprised Palermo.  Livorno pulled off two draws and Lazio fell into a sort of bizarre miasma.  Parma, Cagliaria, Genoa and Atalanta got unwelcome draws.  Napoli and Catantia are in the doldrums and the Scudetto is looking more won with each week.    

 

 

FIXTURES

 

Fiorentina V Catania

A draw in Serie A and a win in the UEFA Cup with Mutu being the difference maker.  Catania howls with rage at a dodgy refereeing decision that wouldn't really have altered the outcome of the game. 

Fifteen points separate the two teams with Catania hovering just above a relegation struggle and Fiorentina clinging to fourth spot. 

It's all about the Romanian for Prandelli.  Baldini will love the return of Vargas, Spinesi is the key to any sort of result. 

Injuries hurt Il Elefanti more than La Viola so expect a bag full of goals. 

 

Genoa V Sampdoria

Despite the draw at Livorno last week Genoa are still firmly in the middle of Serie A.  Sampdoria continue to push upwards and are chasing down a UEFA cup place. 

Only two points separate the two city rivals with much, much, much more than a mere three points at stake.  Derby, Italian style. 

Mazzarri will win more fans over if the Blucerchiati win and Cassano is the key to unlock the Rossoblu. 

Gasperini doesn't have quite the firepower of his cross town rivals but in Borriello has one of Italy's most potent Italian marksmen. 

Injuries and suspensions hamper Genoa a touch more than Sampdoria. 

 

 

Internaz ionale V Livorno

A cruel twist of the scheduling gnomes hands Livorno a second trip to the Stadio Guiseppe Meazza in less than a week.  Inter will want to win easy as they have a game against English opposition in midweek. 

A whopping thirty three points separate the two sides; although the Amaranto did stifle Milan in midweek.  . 

Mancini still has a mountainous injury list in the middle but still has some razor sharp attacking talents. 

Camolese's injuries aren't as voluminous; but are more crucial with Tavano's start uncertain. 

 

 

Juventus V Roma

Both sides won last week in differing fashions.  Juve are solid at home and Roma are on of Serie A's better traveling teams. 

A mere four points splits the second and third placed team so their positions won't change. 

Earlier in the season in Rome Iaquinta snatched a point for the Bianconeri.  The stakes this time around are even higher. 

Injuries aren't an issue for Spalletti or Ranierii. 

Camoranesi will be a key player although so many on the field in Turin will be able to turn the match. 

 

Lazio V Atalanta

Lazio embarrassed themselves at Empoli last week and a Muslimovic inspired Atalanta grabbed a point to Fiorentina. 

Crunch time for the two sides really, Lazio need to avoid relegation trouble and Atalanta need to get into the European chase. 

Only seven points separate the sides but two different stories are unfolding in Bergamo and Rome.  A quiet revolution and a disaster. 

Injuries hamper but don't hamstring either team.  Doni returns for Del Neri and Rossi once again tries to shake the most out of Pandev. 

 

 

Napoli V Empoli

The Azzurri are staggering; with another loss; and Empoli might have just sparked a climb out of relegation trouble; with a win. 

Reja has a target on his back with a run of stuttering results and Malesani is struggling with a poor away record. 

Eight points separate the sides with plenty of games to go to change things around. 

Injuries confound both the Azzurri and the Empolisi. Slovakian Hamsik is the top scorer available to Napoli; Pozzi is the threat for Empoli this term but goals away is a problem. 

 

 

Palermo V Cagliari

Can the Rosanero turn around their stuttering season and can the Rossoblu turn a three game unbeaten streak into a climb away from the bottom.  Palermo got hammered and Cagliari grabbed a disappointing point. 

Guidolin is under fire with the owner publicly insulting him in the Italian press. 

Although thirteen points separate the two teams their current form belies their place in the table. 

Massive injury and suspension worries hit Palermo with Cagliari smarting but not quite as hindered. 

Cavani should start for Palermo and Cagliari will look to keep things tight at the back and grab one. 

 

 

Parma V Milan

Spiraling out of control Parma face a tired but tough Milan who may be in the throes of an injury crisis.  The Ducali and Rossoneri both sna tched a point. 

Seventeen points split the teams and as in other games Europe and relegation are on the minds of supporters. 

City misfit Corradi is unavialabe and new signing Lucarelli is unlikely to play so Pisanu will be the key man for the Gialloblu especially as Di Carlo has other injuries to worry about.  Ancellotti also has major injury worries but has depth, Kaka's return could be pivotal.  Gilardino, if he starts, will be making the trip back to his old stomping grounds. 

 

 

Reggina V Udinese

Reggina came crashing down to earth last week with a loss to Roma whilst Udinese lost at home. 

Fifteen points is the gap and yet again it's points needed to avoid relegation or grab a European spot. 

Marino's Zebrette have more woes up front than at the back whilst Ulivieri's Amaranto almost have a full squad fit to play. 

Quagliarella's absence is a boon for Reggina as well as commentators, Zapata is a good young defender.  Amuroso and Vigiani are the two hit men for the Regio Calabria outfit. 

Could actually be a pretty good game. 

 

 

Siena V Torino

A win for the Granata and the residual affects of the Bianconeri's last win make for an appetizing encounter. 

Neither side is inspired this season although Torino is more disappointed despite being four points above Siena. 

Beretta is likely to stick with a starting eleven that has done pretty well against two top sides whilst Novelino has suspension issues; and for his players as well. 

With sox goals in two games Torino are on an exceptional scoring run. 

 

 

My Games of the Week. 

Juventus V Roma & Genoa V Sampdoria, (games at Reggina and Siena could be firecrackers as well though)

 

What's On FSC?

Juventus V Roma (Sat)

Parma V Milan (Sat)

Genoa V Sampdoria (Sun)

Fiorentina V Catania (Sun)

 

Traveling support loud and proud as the Blues win away from home in Europe again.  Less than brilliant but professional and mostly solid. 

 

Brann Stadion in chilly; hovering around the freezing mark; Bergen Norway had a hostile and vocal atmosphere for such a small stadium.  Everton's traveling fans were mostly drowned out by the whistles, boos and cheers of the home support.  Great atmosphere for a European night. 

 

"DEATH IS MY BUSINES...AND BUSINESS IS GOOD!"  PROFOUND THOUGHTS FROM A VENERATED MEMBER OF THE UNDERTAKING PROFESSION AND THRASH METAL FREAK!

Moyes; without his full squad to pick from; went 4 4 2.  Yakubu; naughty, punished and forgiven; played up front alongside John son.  An unfamiliar look to the midfield with Osman and Fernandes wide with Cahill and Carsley in the centre.  Jagielka continued in the centre of defence alongside Yobo with Neville and Lescott operating as fullbacks.  Howard keeps goal. 

 

ONE FOR MUM!

A squad full of internationals; unbeaten in nineteen at home and current Norwegian Champions went with an attacking 4 4 2.  Mjelde keeps Norwegian number one Opdal in goal with a back four of Dahl, Bjarnason, Sigurdson and Hanstveit.  Moen operated on the left with Bakke, El-Fakiri and Solli inside him.  Up front Helstad is a threat alongside Karadas. 

 

Everton have an early chance for Yak but his shot is weak.  Carsley is called into action at the other end. 

Brann aren't shy to come forward and drop 6 men back when Everton come forward. 

A lack of natural width forces Everton through the middle where Brann are strong. 

Yakubu and John son don't really work together they are just both up front. 

A discombobulated midfield can't get many good balls forward and shows sloppiness in possession. 

Jagielka is a rock at the back bar one fluff with Lescott (similar to the howlers against Arsenal); thankfully Helstad is a bit rusty and doesn't take a shot. 

The Brann corner kick is an excellent weapon; crowd the six yard area and hamper the goalkeeper; almost worked in the last minute of the half but for a Bakke arm across Howard; those almost always get given. 

Osman provides the goalmouth entertainment he only brought a fine save from Opdal on his third try. 

Brann could have been ahead, Karadas' header flashed over from a wonderfully flighted free kick.  Moen was the bright spot for the home side; always good deliveries.  Brann had more possession but lacked alacrity in attack, particularly Karadas; Helstad would have been more assured in front of goal mid season. 

 

No changes at the half, surely DM made a few choice remarks at half time though. 

 

Everton start off the second as they did in the first half.  Some decent play and possession.  Cahill came close with a good run and shot which may or may not have been touched onto the post by Opdal. 

The visitors kept playing hard without really threatening when the breakthrough fell their way.  A robust Cahill tackle on the left didn't interest the referee, he pokes the ball to John son who gets forward, he is pushed wide but manages a decent cross; Dahl's clearing header only finds the venomous right boot of Osman who send the ball rocketing back beyond the defenders and Opdal.

OSSIE DOES HIS JIMBO IMPRESSION!

Brann don't give up.  They work hard and push Everton back. 

The home side's corner kicks still cause problems and Howard has to be alert to gather Helstad's header; Neville had closed his eyes or something at the back post and left his man free. 

Some of the Blue defending is sloppy but Jagielka seems to be in the right place to stick out a foot or win the ball.  Substitutions with twenty odd minutes to go energize Brann; a Gambian international tests Howard when the defence fails to close him down and the winger adds something. 

Everton start to work the ball a bit more and apply a professionalism to the game to kill it off; this doesn't involve flopping all over the place as they do in Italy. 

A late Brann charge has Everton sitting deep and keeping almost everyone back. 

Lescott breaks with a galloping and most unorthodox style down the left, he looks up and shows that he has practiced his crosses with a superb delivery that finds Anichebe at the back post, a cool finish over the 'keeper seals the win and probably the tie.  Was it offside?  Possibly, I've seen those flagged back before now, but the Bulgarian official kept his flag down. 

VICTOR FINISHES WITH A FLOURISH!

 

TIM, CAN YOU JUST F..U..C..K.. OFF, WE'RE HAVING A "GOAL SCORING" MOMENT!

Carsley and others did the brave, mad or ambivalent thing with shirtsleeves.  Everton won albeit with two decisions which on another day they might not have gotten.  Professional away win; which has become their stamp in Europe this season.  Winning when you don't play all that well is a bonus and kind of makes up for some of the losses when we've actually played better and lost.  Surely this a ticket to the last sixteen and probably a trip to Italy or maybe a return trip to Norway. 

 

Hey! Yes You! The Idiots Who Inavded The Pitch At The Final Whistle.  I Know You Are Excited But Your Stupidity Could Result In Everton Being Censured By UEFA!

Mjelde can take a lot from this game.  His side stood up and attacked well, defended well but showed too much rustiness to score.  They played better in the first half than the second but couldn't put away the chances they had.  They will enjoy a trip to Liverpool in the next leg but only a home disaster or an away miracle can give them the win. 

 

The Bulgarian referee allowed the game to flow, some robust challenges were let go before Cahill won the ball.  That seemed in character with the rest of the game.  Could the linesman have given offside, well yes he could, he didn't and the second goal stands. 

 

 

Everton:-

Howard

Neville

Yobo

Jagielka

Lescott

Osman

Cahill

Carsley

Fernandes (Hibbert 89)

John son (Anichebe 76)

Yakubu (Baines 90)

 

Bookings:-

Fernandes

 

Goals:-

Osman 59

Anichebe 88

 

 

Sportsklubben Brann:-

Opdal

Dahl (Thwaite 89)

Bjarnason

Sigurdson

Hanstveit

Solli

Bakke

El-Fakri (Huseklepp 75)

Moen

Helstad

Karadas (Demba-Nyren 69)

 

Bookings:-

 

Goals:-

 

Attendance:-

16207

 

Referee:-

Anton Genov (BUL)

 

Pictures courtesy of evertonfc.com

Pictures courtesy of bbc.co.uk