Hello sports fans and welcome to the Monday Mailbag, where we try to answer the most pressing sports questions from the interweb. Feel free to ask anything yourself.

Q...Will Favre be back next season, and what do you think of the book, 'Who moved my Cheese'?..............the big cheese

A....Yes he'll be back. Much like a girl, all he wants is for someone to tell him he's pretty, and they love him, and make him feel wanted. The cheese in the book represents money.

Q...Is Eli Manning really all that, and a bag of chips?............P.M.

A...Don't worry P.M., he's much closer to a bag of chips, than all that.

Q...Is it true that Randy Moss is the reason the Pats have won their two playoff games? He only has one catch in each game. Could you recommend a good DVD, as I suddenly have a lot of free time..........T.O.

A...Yes T.O. He is taking double coverage down one side of the field, and that's helping the Pats run to the other side, and also allowing short passes underneath or to the opposite side of  Moss. 'Band of Brothers',  you should rent it.

Q...Why did they only show the Packer bikini girls once, for a split second, late in the third quarter?.........Deanna

A...The FOX director is practicing for upcoming Pro Bull Riding events where the action only lasts 2.1 seconds

Q...Who is the sports personality that Barak Obama reminds me of?........Hillary

A...That would be Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, former D lineman at the U, and pro wrestler. Obama has spent hundreds of hours listening to the Rock's old wrestling promos to get the inflection and cadence down. He really would like you to smell what Barak is cooking.

Hey Chowd, so you're going to the big game on Sunday. Here's a handy checklist of wicked awesome gear you need to be rockin.

Pat's hooded sweatshirt. Sleeves optional.

Red Sox cap. The one Grandma bought you in sixth grade.

Bruschi jersey. The one Grandma gave you for graduation. High school graduation.

Condom (still unused since high school). In case your sister gets lucky.

Peppermint schnapps. You know, like on SNL.

That should be everything you need in the bar where you'll be watching the game. Fellow NFL fans, did I leave anything out?

I know it;s hard to believe, but Pacman Jones has went full tilt in a strip, uh, gentlemen's club again. The highlights...... Once again Jones claimed mgmt. had stolen his money and jewelry. As he scuffled with bouncers in the hall outside the club's office, a female 'lawyer', who just happened to be in said office in the wee hours, came out to 'gawk'. Her exact word. She claimed, since retracted, that Jones reached around the bouncers and sucker punched her.

A few tips on strip club ettiquitte.... women, dont get behind the bouncers to 'gawk' at a confrontation. Mainly because a stripper will steal your purse in all the commotion. This second one I've never had a problem with, but apparently DO NOT remove your jewelry inside a strip club. And third, once inside the club, as soon as you pull any money out of your pocket it belongs to the club and/or it's employees. Pac, they don't want you, they want your paper. If you were some broke ass pimp wantabe you'd never get through the front door.

Don't know if this info has been posted in the past or not. There is a new race series starting this year. Old time NASCAR drivers will be competing in stock cars painted in the schemes they made famous.

Among the dozens already on board are...David Pearson (the greatest ever), Harry Gant, Charlie Glotzback, and Dick Trickle.

Go to the site below for schedules and other info.

osrct.com

A fellow blogger recently asked why people like NASCAR.  The best advice, from many, was for him to attend a NASCAR race. So, here are some helpful tips for those of you going to your first race.

MOTELS.........reservations are needed. A lot of NASCAR tracks are in the middle of nowhere, and you will pay a premium for a room. Camping is an option.

TICKETS..........NASCAR isn't selling out tracks like they used to. Good tickets are available on the day of the race, except for Bristol. If need be you can get tickets from a scalper at, or below face value.

PARKING........Pay someone to park in their yard, or a small lot. When the race is over 100,000+ fans will be trying to leave at the same time. A parking lot with 25 cars in it is faster to empty than one with 2,500.

GEAR...............The most important item to bring is a scanner. You can rent or borrow one for your first race. Then listen to the drivers talking trash and strategy. Binoculars come in handy for checking out all the groupies in the pits. Where else but NASCAR do they let you bring in a cooler with your own food and beverages, and I'm talkin' adult beverages.

Have fun.