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    countryjag
    Lifetime Points: 40



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    About Me: Started blogging New Years 2008. As you can tell, I never took any writing classes, creative or otherwise. If I ever win a Pulitzer, or any other award, I won't forget all of you little people that made it possible._________________... I recent
    Marital Status Single
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    Location:
    About Me: Started blogging New Years 2008. As you can tell, I never took any writing classes, creative or otherwise. If I ever win a Pulitzer, or any other award, I won't forget all of you little people that made it possible._________________... I recent
    Marital Status Single

    Monday Mailbag

    Monday, January 28, 2008, 01:11 PM EST [General]

    Hello sports fans and welcome to the Monday Mailbag where we try to answer the most pressing sports and entertainment questions from the interweb. Please feel free to ask anything yourself, either in the comments, or by email for a future Mailbag.

    Q.    Now that my 'brother' is out of rehab can I please get my job back?................Michael

    A.    We here at the four letter network wish you all the best, but you have been replaced by another semi-cool, junior pimp dressing, loud, ex wide receiver who laughs at his own material.

    Q.    Since the TV writers are still on strike, I'm trying to recycle some old SNL bits by using new actors in the old skits. Any ideas?...............................Lorne M.

    A.    A great bit from the 90s was about adult diapers. Al Davis would be perfect as the spokesman giving the catchphrase......'Whoops I Crapped my Pants...I'm wearing them....and I just did.' Might be too realistic to be funny.

    Q,    Who's gonna win da Super Bowl. And Carm is looking for something new to put out at her Super Bowl party. How bout it?...............................Tony S.

    A.    Gulp. I, I, I'm glad to see you're still alive, T. I can't give you the winner until later in the week. I don't want to end up like Big Pussy. No, not Paris Hilton. The guy used to be in your crew. Now sleeping with the fishes. Tell the wife to start with the best onion rings in Jersey. They're at................

    Q.    Yo, me and my boys are going to Arizona this week. Any sights to see out there?.............Chowd

    A.    Well there's always the Grand Canyon. No, once again not her.

    Q.    What can I watch on Sunday nights now that Madden isn't putting me to sleep?...Al M.

    A.    'The Wire' is very good. A little slow on plot resolution. I prefer 'The Shield' on Sunday nights. Sadly it won't start until this summer.   

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    85 Dolphins

    Sunday, January 27, 2008, 11:07 AM EST [General]

    Much has been said already comparing the 72 Dolphins to this year's Patriot team. Something to do with both of them going undefeated. Maybe you've heard about it. It was in all the papers.

    Everyone pretty much agrees that the 72 Fins would have no chance against the 07 Pats. It's the Steve Austin theory...bigger, stronger, faster, etc. For that matter, most of the experts say that no team from the past could hang with today's Patriots. Except for the 85 Bears. There are a few football people who give the 85 Bears a good chance to win this fanasty game, or at least come close.

    The 85 Bears came very close to running the table. They only lost one regular season game all year. On one magical Monday night in Miami they were denied the chance at perfection. Don Shula showed the other NFL coaches how to deal with that vaunted Bears defense, and outscore the Bears average offense. Of course the other NFL coaches did not have Dan Marino at their disposal. Marino's gunslinger persona, ultra confidence, and the quickest release ever known in the NFL carried the day against the unbeatable Bears. Remember that this was the 80s. The NFL's golden age of quarterbacks, and not one of those other great QBs had anything for the Bears.

    Thus I advance to you that the only team with a puncher's chance to knock out the 07 Patriots would be the 85 Dolphins. The Pats defense would not contain Marino throwing to the Marks Brothers and Nat Moore. It would certainly be a shootout with Tom Brady going against Miami's Killer B Defense. This was the defense that coined the term 'bend but don't break.' Final score...Miami 48   New England 45.

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    Jr's Reality Show

    Friday, January 25, 2008, 10:31 AM EST [General]

    USA Today is reporting that ESPN 2 will air a five part program focusing on Lil E's move to Hendrick. The title is 'Dale Jr.--Shifting Gears'. It will tell how Jr. decided to leave DEI and go to HMS.

    The first episode will air on Feb. 8. The next two eps will air sometime prior to the Daytona 500. The last two eps will air the week of July 27. These final two eps will bring Jr's 2008 season at HMS up to date so far.

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    Jarrett in; Wallace out at ESPN

    Wednesday, January 23, 2008, 07:05 PM EST [General]

    ESPN announced today that Dale Jarrett will replace Rusty Wallace on their race broadcast crew. DJ  joins his hometown boyhood  friends Andy Petree and Jerry Punch in the booth. Rusty moves on to pre-race anaylist. While the most underrated race announcer on TV, Alen Bestwick becomes pre-race host.

    There is a lot of good news in this announcement. First, while not as good as his father Ned, DJ has to be a major improvement over Rusty. Hell, Alf on crack would be an improvement .  Next, Bestwick is way underappreciated at ESPN. All he does is tell you what's happening on the the track. And I've saved the best for last..........apparently this means Bill Webber is going back to doing infomercials, or wherever in the hell he came from.

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    Monday Mailbag

    Monday, January 21, 2008, 01:10 PM EST [General]

    Hello sports fans and welcome to the Monday Mailbag, where we try to answer the most pressing sports questions from the interweb. Feel free to ask anything yourself.

    Q...Will Favre be back next season, and what do you think of the book, 'Who moved my Cheese'?..............the big cheese

    A....Yes he'll be back. Much like a girl, all he wants is for someone to tell him he's pretty, and they love him, and make him feel wanted. The cheese in the book represents money.

    Q...Is Eli Manning really all that, and a bag of chips?............P.M.

    A...Don't worry P.M., he's much closer to a bag of chips, than all that.

    Q...Is it true that Randy Moss is the reason the Pats have won their two playoff games? He only has one catch in each game. Could you recommend a good DVD, as I suddenly have a lot of free time..........T.O.

    A...Yes T.O. He is taking double coverage down one side of the field, and that's helping the Pats run to the other side, and also allowing short passes underneath or to the opposite side of  Moss. 'Band of Brothers',  you should rent it.

    Q...Why did they only show the Packer bikini girls once, for a split second, late in the third quarter?.........Deanna

    A...The FOX director is practicing for upcoming Pro Bull Riding events where the action only lasts 2.1 seconds

    Q...Who is the sports personality that Barak Obama reminds me of?........Hillary

    A...That would be Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, former D lineman at the U, and pro wrestler. Obama has spent hundreds of hours listening to the Rock's old wrestling promos to get the inflection and cadence down. He really would like you to smell what Barak is cooking.

     

     

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