Here's to Hoping Your Red Bud Gear has "Junior" or "8" on it.

This is a revised version of post that appeared here on July 12 that now contains additional content and reflects subsequent events.

The day of Junior's announcement that he was moving to Hendrick Motorsports, the craziest rumor to be aired on SPEED was that the Budweiser sponsorship could be moving to Kasey Kahne.

At the time, everyone thought, "Just a crazy rumor". I know I did.

There was no way would Bud give up their investment in the most popular driver in the sport. They've got super deep pockets. They will pay whatever they have to. They won't swap Junior for Kasey?

I had forgotten a line from one of my favorite movies....

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Rumors are always true. Some of them just haven't happened yet.
-The Player (1992)

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Now it has happened.

In July, ESPN's Terry Blount gave four reasons on NASCAR Now as to why Junior and Bud would split:

1. Junior wants to market to kids and he can't do that with a beer sponsor.
2. There is bad blood between Bud and Hendrick from when Bud left HMS for DEI in 1999.
3. Pepsi can bring more money than Bud.
   
4. Bud has a cheap deal for Junior now and the price will at least triple and no one at Anheuser-Busch has the balls to ask the board for the money.

Even more shocking than Bud dropping Junior is his replacement.

There is one thing no one has bother to explain. They didn't in July and they haven't since: how does Kasey Kahne fit with Bud? Is he even old enough to buy a beer?

Anyone who has worked in corporate America can't be very shocked that to discover gelding Pintos instead of Clydesdale studs populating the Anheuser-Busch executive suite.

But what are they thinking? Are they consuming too much of their own product? This is an amazingly radical image shift away from their core market.

Certainly, there are plenty of women who drink their fair share of Bud (how do you think guys get laid in college). But their primary market is male.

That is like replacing Clint Eastwood for Clay Aiken (or as Kathy Griffin from "My Life on the D List" calls him, Clay Gayken).

Don't get me wrong, I understand that Kasey Kahne has huge marketing appeal. There is no question that Kasey Kahne is the official pretty boy boy toy of NASCAR MILF Nation (although the hottest member of NASCAR MILF Nation is a bit out of step with some of the others preferring Denny Hamlin and Junior).

Also, Ashley Miller notwithstanding, as a pretty boy boy toy, he also has some pretty solid support among gay NASCAR fans.

Not that there is anything wrong with that (by that I mean being a pretty boy boy toy or being a gay NASCAR fan), but let's be honest here.

Kasey runs away from the Allstate crazy horny soccer moms and Junior stands up to crazy mutant desert guys.

In the words of Devine over at Gaytona.com, "Kasey, watch out for anybody who suggests you are too pretty and need to grow a beard, pierce your chin, wear those awful ear-stretchers, or any other such. They be jealous, honey, cuz you look so fine."

We all have a pretty good idea what the crazy horny soccer moms are going to do once they catch Kasey and Ashley Miller won't be able to do a thing about it.

That's one thing. But when the crazy mutant desert guys get him, I don't know what they have planned, but I'm sure it's not going to be pretty.

Whenever you have a change this big, there are winners and losers. So, one question is, what are male NASCAR fans with Team Budweiser gear going to do?

In my post on the Richmond Indy car race, I kind of alluded to this issue.

Look, Kasey is a pretty boy boy toy. If a guy is wearing Kasey Kahne gear he he better be on the pit crew. If not, he's pretty much saying, "I want dick and I want it now."

Put on a Clint Eastwood shirt and you are saying something just a bit different than if you have a Clay Aiken shirt on. That's what we're talking about here.

Let me put this a different way. If you are a guy and you are a member of Junior Nation, the red Bud gear in your closet needs to be clearly identified as Junior gear.

If it doesn't, the next time you wear that gear to the track people are going to be thinking that what you have in your closet means you need to come out of the closet.

Don't even get me started on Bud gear with a picture of Kasey or a #9 on it.

That's why I say if you are going to by sports gear, go old school. Doesn't matter if it is NFL, NASCAR or anything else. The names, numbers and teams will change. Bench Racing with Steve and Charlie has a good guide for you.

Speaking of people who lose on this deal, the crazy horny soccer moms in the Allstate commercials are now in trouble.

NASCAR didn't have a problem with it when they did Tim Richmond wrong back in 1989. Today, they don't even notice the hypocrisy of ending the careers of anyone who has substance abuse issues while at the same time the sport is being partially funded by the deadliest and most abused substance in the world (alcohol).

Allstate probably can't do that with a straight face.

Having Kasey Kahne driving a car sponsored by a product that is responsible for a very high percentage of the claims they have to pay just won't pass the laugh test.

Bowyer Busts His Nut

Clint Bowyer is the guy who has never been laid, but finally manages to lose his virginity when it counts -- on prom night.

If there was ever a time for the #07 to go from boy to man, it would be the first race in The Chase. As is typical for how these things seem to work out, Sports Illustrated says Bowyer is dating the woman his fellow drivers would most want to bang.

As good as it was for Clint, the rest of us just kind of had to lay there and not fall asleep.

Eight days earlier, Richmond gave us the most exciting COT race yet. Richmond at night has become the new Bristol. Hard fighting, bumping and banging.

Sadly, the first race in The Chase didn't live up. One of the five most boring of the year.

Clint Bowyer started from the pole, led the most laps and won the race by a huge margin. No one else had anything for him.

Click here to read the full post at Epic Carnival.

Drivers of the World, UNITE! IRL Guarantees Same Prize Money for All

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!

-Karl Marx

A report from SPEEDTV's Robin Miller says that all IRL drivers in 2008 will receive the same prize money regardless of finish.

Comrades, allow me to put this in clear terms that even the greediest capitalist swine can understand:

The heroic oppressed workers of Milka Duno's team will get the same check for running a race as the greedy capitalist pig who wins the race. Even though she is running 12 MPH off the pace and finishing dead last (due to various imperialist conspiracies).

IRL is pounding their shoe on the podium and telling NASCAR, "We will bury you."

While IRL fans will continue to keep track of who wins or loses on their own, The Black Flag has obtained this photo of the official trophy all IRL drivers will be receiving on the podium at the end of every race regardless of finish.

This new system is likely to only speed the recent tide of mass defections from IRL by certain corrupt, bourgeois, materialists who have been departing for NASCAR like they were Cuban baseball players.

As it stands now, the IRL starting grid in 2008 will be a great testament to the triumph of socialism and the superiority of open wheel racing.

Depending on decisions made in the coming weeks, the 2008 season may begin with as few as two of the six drivers who won an IRL race in 2007.

The removal of provocateurs who lack proper socialist commitment by taking so much for themselves can only strengthen the series.

In fact Sam Hornish, Jr., the first of the traitorous capitalists will be starting a NASCAR race this weekend in the imperialist state of New Hampshire.

The departure of Mrs. Dario Judd and the influence of her materialist husband Ashley to NASCAR in 2008 will do a great deal to quell the loud reactionary forces of capitalism in IRL.

The viscous attack Ashley Franchitti made against a great example of socialist success like Milka Duno when she referred to worker Duno as a member of a pack of "bloody sharks" illustrates how the IRL will be served by their exit.

These provocateurs who seek to exploit the workers of this glorious series in order to satisfy their own personal greed and NASCAR deserve each other.

This new system will lead the IRL to world racing domination as the drivers of the world unite and create a racing revolution.

NASCAR and their counter-revolutionary puppets need to heed the words of the ideological father of the IRL, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin: "The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them."

Of course, it will be necessary to arrange for Gene Simmons to cut a version of L'Internationale to replace his overtly bourgeois I Am Indy theme song for IRL prior to the start of the 2008 season.

At that time, Simmons will be sent to a reeducation camp to correct his overtly capitalist tendencies since his publicly opulent life style simply does not conform to the values of the IRL.

Juan Pablo Montoya's Running Incident List

What is the real story with JPM?

I've done some digging and put together some stats and incidents.

Big picture, it isn't pretty. He has 28 NEXTEL Cup starts. He has had some kind of an incident in 19 of them and finished on the lead lap in only 11.

Not all the incidents listed here were caused by his rough, aggressive or sloppy driving. However, there is an astonishing pattern here.

Also significant, he has had incidents with (at least) the following 18 drivers (including eight of the 12 Chase drivers):

Harvick, Burton, Johnson, Hamlin, Stewart, Newman, Gordon, Raines, Ragan, Earnhardt, Kyle Busch, Sauter, Gillaland, Blaney, Wood, Nemacheck, McMurray, Edwards, McCumbee.

I'll be doing another post later on just exactly what all this means.

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THIS ISSUE IS ABOUT A DRIVER AND THAT DRIVER'S RECORD. DEAL WITH ANY RACIST IGNORANCE AND INSECURITIES ON YOUR PART ELSEWHERE. IT HAS NO PLACE IN THIS DISCUSSION.

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JPM NNCS Starts: 28
Races Finished Not On Lead Lap (NOLL): 17 (60%)
Incidents (INC): 19 (68%)
2007 Running on Lead Lap (ROLL): 4,799 of 7,399 (65%)

Listing of JPM Incidents:

• Race 36 (2006). Homestead Miami, November 2006 - NOLL INC
  
• JPM's first NEXTEL Cup start.
  
• JPM begins tangling with Ryan Newman in the #12. The back and forth beating and banging results in Montoya's car in flames. Newman is "invited" to the NASCAR Hauler for a "chat" with race officials.
  
• Race 2. February 25, Auto Club 500, California Speedway - NOLL
• Finishes 248 of 250 laps.
  
• Race 3. March 11, UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400, Las Vegas Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
  
• Lap 10 -- Pit stops begin for fuel:
  Juan Montoya leads a group down pit road, but Montoya gets blocked in his stall by Tony Raines.
• Lap 92 -- Juan Montoya gets completely sideways coming off Turn 2, brushes David Gilliland and saves it. By the time they get to Turn 3, Montoya passes Gilliland.
• Finishes 265 of 267 laps.
• Race 5. March 25, Food City 500, Bristol Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 119 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 3 -- David Ragan gets touched by Juan Montoya coming out of Turn 4. Ragan keeps his car from spinning or hitting anything.
• Lap 136 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 4 -- Juan Montoya spins coming off Turn 2. He made contact with Tony Raines and slid to the inside wall, making slight contact to the nose. Dale Earnhardt Jr. got spun in the aftermath, but managed to stay on the lead lap.
  
• JPM Finishes 497 of 504 laps.
  
• Race 6. April 1, Goody's Cool Orange 500, Martinsville Speedway - INC
• Spins the #96 Car of Tony Raines who drops from 9th to finish 20th. JPM finishes 16th.
• Race 7. April 15, Samsung 500, Texas Motor Speedway - INC
• Lap 240 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 5: Juan Montoya and Tony Stewart were side-by-side. Montoya got loose and hit Stewart forcing him to spin. Jimmie Johnson had nowhere to go and t-boned Stewart. Earnhardt and Kyle Busch are also taken out in the incident.
• Montoya finishes 8th.
  
• Race 8. April 21, Subway Fresh Fit 500, Phoenix International Raceway - NOLL INC
• Gives the finger to a TV camera man for ABC's NASCAR in Prime Time. Is fined for the obscene gesture.
• Completes 309 of 312 laps.
  
• Race 9. April 29, Aaron's 499, Talladega Superspeedway - NOLL INC
• Running ninth when he slaps the wall on lap 162. He eventually finished 31st, five laps down.
• Finishes 187 of 192 laps.
  
• Race 10. May 6, Crown Royal Presents 400, Richmond International Raceway - NOLL INC
• Lap 119 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 5: Tangles with #12 Ryan Newman again. Juan Montoya and Johnny Sauter both in the Turn 2 wall hard after Montoya gets bumped by Ryan Newman and moves Montoya up the track into Sauter.
  Lap 372 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 14: Ward Burton and Ricky Rudd get together in Turn 3 and both drivers hit the wall. Tony Stewart, A.J. Allmendinger and Martin Truex Jr. also gets caught up in the crash. Dave Blaney and Juan Montoya both spin but suffer no damage.
  
• Completes 399 of 400 laps.
• Race 11. May13, Dodge Avenger 500, Darlington Raceway - NOLL INC
• Lap 299 -- Jimmie Johnson is all over leader Denny Hamlin, but contact from the slow car of Montoya keeps him from making the pass.
• Completes 365 of 367 laps.
  
• Race 12a. May 20, All Star Open, Lowe's Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
• Montoya causes a major wreck in turn two of lap one. He puts Gillaland, Blaney, Wood, Nemacheck, Menard and himself in the garage.
• JPM finishes 0 of 80 laps.
  
• Race 12. May 27, Coca-Cola 600, Lowe's Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 53 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Is involvedin a 15 car wreck on lap 54 when Jimmy Johnson's tire comes apart. JPM finishes 28th.
• Finishes 369 of 400 laps.
• Race 13. June 4, Autism Speaks 400, Dover International Speedway - NOLL
• No significant incidents, but finishes only 395 of 400 laps.
  
• Race 15. June 17, Citizens Bank 400, Michigan International Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 69 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Crash gets into the wall, bringing out the yellow and ending his day. Amazingly, this is his first DNF of the season. He finished 43rd.
• Completes 67 of 200 laps
• Race 16. June 24, Toyota/Save Mart 350, Infineon Raceway INC
• Lap 32 -- Juan Montoya gets into Jimmie Johnson and makes contact putting Johnson sideways and loose. Johnson recovers in order to return the favor with a slight bump. They are running 12th and 13th.
• Crash takes the win. He is now officially in the "checkers or wreckers" club.
• Race 17. July 1, Lenox Industrial Tools 300, New Hampshire International Speedway INC
• On lap 106 Hamlin found himself three wide with Tony Stewart and Juan Pablo Montoya with the three cars running out of track, Montoya made contact with the left rear fender of Hamlin. At first the damage caused concern in the #11 pit but it was soon clear it wasn't affecting performance and would not require any repairs. With traffic tight and handling an issue, it was taking Hamlin as much as 15 laps to complete passes and take position. Hamlin went on to win the race in spite of the damage.
• Race 18. July 7, Pepsi 400, Daytona International Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 56 -- Juan Montoya gets loose and makes contact with Kevin Harvick coming off Turn 4. Harvick bounces off the wall and drops back with a smoking tire rub.
• Lap 132 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 6: Spin near the back of the field involving John Andretti, Bobby Labonte and Juan Montoya. David Reutimann slapped the wall, Labonte tried to avoid it and Montoya had nowhere to go.
• Finishes 157 of 160 laps.
  
• Race 22. August 12, Centurion Boats at The Glen, Watkins Glen International NOLL INC
• Lap 75 -- RED FLAG: Harvick: "I just got run over. It all goes up in smoke because people gets impatient. The No. 42 seems like he runs over someone every week." How do you feel about Montoya: "I was talking about kicking his a** is how I felt about it ..."
  Montoya: "I got out of the car and told Kevin it wasn't my fault. He comes and starts saying things and I don't appreciate that. I tried to tell him, 'Dude, if it's not my fault, don't push me around like that.' "
  
• YELLOW FLAG NO. 7: In Turn 1, Montoya slams into Harvick and then several other cars pile in. Harvick and Montoya climb from their cars and Montoya pushes Harvick in the helmet. Teammate Jeff Burton comes over to try to break it up.Jamie McMurray and Burton both end up with heavy damage.
  
• Lap 56 -- Hamlin and Montoya make contact, as Montoya goes wide in a corner while running 10th but loses no positions.
• Lap 52 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 4: Reed Sorenson spins and can't get it refired. Before that, Jimmie Johnson gets tapped by Juan Montoya and Johnson goes around in a huge cloud of smoke.
  
• JPM finishes 72 of 90 laps.
• Race 23. August 21, 3M Performance 400, Michigan International Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 15 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Juan Montoya gets loose and spins but doesn't hit anything. Joe Nemechek and Chad McCumbee also spin as a result.
• Finishes 202 of 203 laps.
• Race 25. September 2, Sharp AQUOS 500, California Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 16 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Montoya has a pit road crash with Carl Edwards.
• Finishes 247 of 250 laps.
  
• Race 26. September 8, Rock and Roll 400, Richmond International Speedway - NOLL INC
• Lap 242 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 8: Ryan Newman spins and collects Kurt Busch and Juan Montoya. Montoya's No. 42 is on fire in the infield.
  
• Completes 241 of 400 laps.
  

In 27 2007 races counting the All Star Open, JPM has finished on the lead lap in 11 and not on the lead lap in 16-- a mere 40% of his finishes are on the lead lap.

Montoya has had some kind of incident at: Homestead (November 2006), Las Vegas (March), Bristol (March), Texas (April), Phoenix (April), Talladega (April), Richmond (May), Lowes All Star Open, Lowes 600, Michigan Citizens Bank 400 (June), Infineon, New Hampshire (June), Daytona Pepsi 400, Watkins Glen, Michigan 3M Performance 400 (July), California (September), Richmond (September). That is something in 19 of his first 28 races -- an amazing 68%. In 2007 it is 18 of 27 or 67%.

If Gibbs and Junior Can Make Big Changes, CCR Thinks The Black Flag Should Too.

The Black Flag Blog now has a new home. In geek speak, we are now running off the domain NASCARBlackFlag.com.

Our RSS feed is still good (if you haven't signed up for the TBF RSS feed, this is a great time to do it by clicking here) and the old BlogSpot.com address will still get you to the right place.

Also, TBF Outpost at FoxSports.com will continue on as it has been promoting the success of The NASCAR Mafia while denying it exists at the same time.

IF YOU HAVE LINKS TO The Black Flag....

Please update them at your earliest convenience.

Many thanks and AliG Style Big Ups to Dan Williams over at LugNuts Online who made this move happen. Respect.

If you haven't yet, you can catch LugNuts live at 10:00 P.M. on Sundays or listen to the recorded show from the archives any time.

In an amazing display of poor judgment, the LugNuts crew invited CCR on their show for an interview. They have since compounded their error by having him back on a weekly basis to cause even more chaos.