Good Morning Baseball Fans:

This e-mail is an invitation to all baseball fans who want to take batting practice off a bona- fide major league pitcher. Former Indian and current Baltimore Oriole Paul Shuey will teach you all about hitting 81 mph, belt high fast balls. For a change of pace, he may hang the occasional curve ball, so that you too can get the feeling of hitting a ball so close to the storied B&O Warehouse. Don't believe me? Well read this testimony from Texas Ranger Travis Metcalf:

"I'm an actual Texas Ranger. No not like the baseball team, but like Chuck Norris. Paul Shuey threw me some batting practice. Now I have a major league contract, and have a shot at the batting title."

Marlon Byrd from Philadelphia, PA says:

"I was a little upset to leave the Phillies. They're in the hunt and all. But then I read that Paul Shuey played for the Orioles. My resulting inflated power numbers will surely get me a new 5 year deal in Baltimore."

Oriole manager Dave Trembley:

"I just signed a one year extension. The ink wasn't quite dry before I was having second thoughts. I turned to Leo Mazzone (our pitching coach) and asked what I could do. Leo suggested letting Paul Shuey throw batting practice. I always thought that batting practice was before the game, but Leo assured me that it was still on for 7 pm as usual. Looking back on it, I think the double-header may have confused poor Leo. But I'll say this: Paul Shuey throws one hell of a batting practice."

Would Dave Trembley lie for some weed? We don't think so. Come on out, and take batting practice with bona- fide major league pitcher Paul Shuey!