Here are my nominations for the previously fictional Quotes of the Week. I'll pick the best one at the beginning of next week's column (any reader input is, of course, welcome - just leave a comment below or email me at bmoynahan101@aol.com).

"He asked me, `If I ran do you think they'd give me a hit on that?" Lowell said. "I said, `I don't know. You didn't run, so don't worry about it." - Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell, talking about Manny Ramirez's failure to run out a ground ball in Sunday's 11-9 win over the Orioles (ESPN)

"That was sauteed in wrong sauce." - Tommy Lee's appraisal of wannabe rocker Storm Large's performance on Tuesday's episode of the reality show "Rock Star: Supernova"

"Overall, it felt pretty good...It took me a little while to get a rhythm out there, and I walked too many guys. It should get better." - former major league outfielder Jose Canseco, after hitting four batters and walking five others in his pitching debut for the Long Beach Armada on Wednesday night (ESPN)

"Someone started trouble and I ended it." - Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest defending his actions during the November 2004 "Malace at the Palace" brawl to a group of about fifty children on Wednesday; Artest was speaking to the kids as part of his court ordered community service (ESPN)

"I'm not in rehab. I'm still doing good. I'm still not drinking. I'm still working out. I'm still Koren, the cheerful, happy guy you all saw last year." - Minnesota Vikings receiver Koren Robinson in July; Robinson was arrested Tuesday night and charged with drunken driving and other charges (ESPN)

"Nobody feels worse about this whole scenario than Mr. Baxter himself...Hopefully this doesn't become a life-altering event." - Harold Martin, attorney for former NBA player Lonny Baxter, who was arrested by Secret Service agents early Wednesday morning after a report of shots being fired near the White House (ESPN)

"He got irate and he threatened me, he's threatening to take me out. I stepped back away from the fence, took the gun out of my pocket and held it by my side. I think it was something anybody would have done in my situation." - Kevin Brown on why he pulled a gun on his neighbor after the pair argued about improper disposal of lawn clippings (SI.com)

"We haven't seen them for quite a while. We've been looking for over a year and they haven't turned up." - NASA spokesman Grey Hautaloma, discussing the search for several hundred boxes of missing Apollo transmissions, including the original lunar landing on July 20, 1969 (CNN)

"The Seven Year War was shorter than last night's game." - Red Sox radio broadcaster Jerry Trupiano, commenting on the length of Friday night's Red Sox-Yankees marathon, which clocked in at 4 hours and 45 minutes

"Jermaine Van Buren, listed at 6 foot 1, 220 pounds. I don't think so. I don't think so." - Trupiano again, this time expressing disbelief regarding the veracity of Sox pitcher Jermaine Van Buren's physical statistics (Note: I heard this in the car today and paraphrased slightly; this still accurately captures Trupe's seventh inning bitterness)