Well since it appears EVERYONE is weighing in on the Shaqnanigans, I figured the whole debacle is deserving of one more rant from yours truly.

Now that Shaq has shamelessly turned his back on South Florida, and has chosen to behave like the squalling infant that he is, it’s only fair that we adopt a similar "no-holds barred" attitude towards the Big Lazy himself. South Florida's once beloved "Shaq-Daddy" is now public enemy number one. His most recent display of cheap vulgarity towards the Heat organization leaves many of us Heat fans confused and at a loss for explanation. After all, this is the big fella we’ve come to know and love over the last 4 years, right?

Houdini himself could not have provided a more convincing illusion.

But the rose-#### glasses have come off.

True colors have been revealed. And as a long-time Kobe-despiser, I’ve been officially converted. I understand him now. I understand Phil Jackson, and Jerrry Buss. And as far as everything Shaq has said about them? Those words have zero credibility at this point. And right now, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. No doubt Dwyane Wade will be the next to get run over by the Big Diesel. I’ve seen with my own two eyes how quickly the Shaq-rat is willing and eager to jump ship on a team that’s struggling to stay afloat under the crushing weight of his burdensome $20 million contract. Shaq’s indignation about playing with Chris Quinn and Ricky Davis would be a lot less nauseating if not for his over-inflated salary being the crippling figure in the Heat’s payroll to begin with...money he's neither earned, nor deserves. Say what you want about their skill level, but Quinn and Davis show up every single night, and play for a small fraction of what a feeble Shaq cost us to sit decrepitly on the bench and be totally useless. If he had any honor at all, he would publicly apologize for the out of line, nonsensical rips at his former teammates. It’s not like Shaq’s a model for perfection...at least not outside his own mind.

When he complains about how badly the Heat have performed these last two years, he doesn't factor in his inability to shoot free throws, his "I'll play when I want to" behavior, his 40 year-old knees, his constant foul trouble, or his whiny and selfish "my way or no way" attitude. No, in Shaq's world it's more realistic to blame Chris Quinn. Puh-leeeze.

Now he’s childishly antagonizing the Heat’s, coaches, players and fans. He got what he wanted but he won’t stop crying. Hmm. I think maybe somebody needs a timeout, because according to my nanny handbook, he’s about 6 words away from a nap.

The guy has nothing to complain about. He stood idly around the court and watched as Dwyane Wade heroically won him another ring. And still he’s ungrateful. He’s ungrateful that he was dealt to an actual contender. He’s ungrateful for all the paid bench time he got while he was supposedly "injured."

But you know what? I’M grateful. I’m grateful we were able to unload the massive deadweight that is Shaquille O’Neal, in the name of re-building around our true and proven superstar. I'm grateful that I'll never again feel like ####ing my head into a wall after watching YET ANTOHER rebound careen over Shaq's head, without him evoking the slightest effort to recover it. I'm grateful we no longer have him standing around in the paint, clogging the lane for the guards. I'm grateful I won't have to watch the entire Heat bench cringe when "The Big Liability" gets hacked and sent to the foul line for another brick-fest.

But no hard feelings. In fact, the next time Shaq returns to South Florida, I hope we welcome him...with a triple facial, courtesy of Wade, Marion and Beasley. Ah, what the heck, let’s welcome him twice! Or 7 times.

Shaq is one duplicitous jacka**.

Of course, no one in the Heat organization lacks enough integrity to comment on Shaq’s remarks, so I’ll take the liberty.

His latest jab at the Heat, as quoted to the Boston Globe yesterday:

"I love playing for this coach and I love playing with these guys," said O’Neal yesterday (on playing with the Suns). "We have professionals who know what to do. No one is asking me to play with Chris Quinn or Ricky Davis. I’m actually on a team again." "...I guess when you have a lot of power, you can do what you want," O’Neal said. "Me? If I ever came into that kind of power, I think I’d be willing to admit it if I messed up."

WHOA!!! Where do I start?

Now, I have been a defender of Shaq’s for a VERY long time. But that ends now. First of all, if we’re talking about professionalism, we’re not talking about Shaq. Because if we’re talking about Shaq, we’re talking about a guy who consistently sits out half of the season, and then blames everyone from his coaches to his teammates when he doesn’t get as many touches as he feels he "deserves." So much for teamwork. As someone who’s watched nearly every minute of every Heat game this year, let me tell you something: If he wasn’t getting touches this season, it was because every touch he DID get either resulted in an offensive foul, or a clumsy turn over; courtesy of his child-like inability to catch and hold on to the ball without fumbling it around like a hot potato and igniting a fast break on the ensuing possession, that would almost certainly guarantee he would come straggling back on defense just in time to be COMPLETELY ineffective.

Second of all, what is a superstar like Shaquille O’Neal doing attacking the likes of Chris Quinn and Ricky Davis?? What did those guys ever do to him? Chris Quinn may not be the best point guard in the NBA, but it’s not his job to be. He’s a back-up PG. Not the best, but a pretty good one. And with his skill level aside, Chris Quinn is obviously one of the hardest workers on the team. Show me one NBA fan or analyst that can say the same about Shaq, and I’ll show you an arrant liar. Quinn busts his tail just to play in this league, because he wasn't blessed with Shaq's Neanderthal stature. And at least he can shoot free throws. Ok, yeah, I went there. But come on...CHRIS QUINN?? Please. That's just stupid. Why would a player of Shaq’s caliber resort to humiliating a couple of low-profile players who, while granted, are mediocre in talent, have given nothing but their total effort while enduring the most atrocious season in franchise history? You could make a case that Ricky Davis hasn’t exactly been full-throttle the entire season, but neither has Shaq...Pot meet Kettle.

Finally, Shaq should take a long hard look at the 2006 Championship series...and stop taking all the credit for it. If Dwyane Wade had the same level of class that Shaq has, he would remind him who single-handedly led the team to that championship and was subsequently (and rightfully so) awarded that Finals MVP trophy. Did Shaq make Wade’s job easier? Of course. But not because he played hard. His mere presence opened up the floor for Wade to be Wade. By simply standing in the paint, Shaq draws the double-team. It’s not his talent that threatens a defense, it’s his size...plain and simple. Yes, I can appreciate Shaq’s role in the Championship. But ever since then, a downward spiraling Shaq has been riding D-Wade’s coattails, and has yet to say a kind work about him publicly since leaving Miami. Wade is the talent, Shaq is the size. I mean, let’s face it, the only thing bigger than Shaq is his ego. Yes, he helped Miami win a Championship...but not because of his amazing skill and dedication. Because of his size 23’s.

Good riddance Shaq.