I've raced bicycles, motorcycles, and go carts too

Those midgets and modified might be fine for you

Dragsters and speed boats, I've tried 'em all

That airplane race was a heck of a ball

Bobsledding was fun , till I hit that curve

I just closed my eyes and saved my last nerve

Went bungee jumpin', what a bummer

Spent it all in traction, just last summer

Went off roadin' in my buddy's truck

Me and my  girlfriend just got stuck

Snowmobiling is a fine path to take

Still don't know what happenned to Jake

Jet ski's are fun, till you run out of gas

When you see that fin, you wish you're on grass

Sky divin' was cool , till I found out

All the money for parachutes had dun run out

Football was neat, but boring to me

I just had to run without blowing out my knee

Went to the court and played a little ball

Found out an official had bet on the call

Pitched on the field, of baseball the game

A few innings in, my arm came up lame

Tried my leg at soccer, the ball I could steer

Got my butt arrested for underage beer

Got outta jail for good attendance you see

I do for them and they'll do for me

Bull ridin' in prison aint as bad as it seems

Maybe the crowd will drown out your screams

A few years later, walkin' by a church

Who did I see, sittin' on a perch

Mikey, Jimmy, Carl and Kyle

Sittin' all together in professional style

They asked me if I needed a good friendly ride

I shrugged it off and took it in stride

I knew it all and you can't tell me a thing

If I would have listened, I'd have the BLING!