I sat at the computer screen and stared at the question over and over again, trying to figure out how in the world I was going to answer this question without  bashing my head up against the computer monitor or throwing my keyboard out of my third floor apartment window.

"Which athlete has the hottest spouse?"

What?  I thought we were supposed to write about sports.  I'm a chick, and I know about sports.  But who am I to determine who has the hottest spouse?  After all, I'm a girl.  A lady.  A female.  Generally, women don't discuss hot women or pretty women,  reason being it just continually lowers our own self esteem and self-image. In response, we eat and make ourselves bigger and, well, less hot.

However, since I mostly have guy friends, and a husband who is more than willing to discuss who he thinks is "hot" (after me, of course), I came up with my answer.

Now, granted, I do realize this is somewhat of an obvious choice.  Oh well.  There is something to be said for me being female and the lack of creativity in this department.  But, hey, it's a contest and I have to give it all I have, right?

Now, for those of you who don't know who this is (wait, let me check that, I realize who my audience is), this is the wife of Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren.  Yes, I know, the typical chesty blue-eyed blonde.  How original of me.  But the one thing this woman has going for her is that she has legs up to her throat.  That alone is enough reason for me to say she's "hot", for lack of better terminology.  I'm sure if I had legs up to my throat and dyed my hair that color blonde, I could land me an athlete too.  Alas, I'm only 5'1 and a brunette, so that doesn't look like it's happening any time soon.  Another reason why she's hot?  Because she's not on the television all the time like some other spouses (Eva Longoria, I'm looking at you) all the time.  It's a bit easier to stomach a stunning beauty when she's not being shoved into your face every 5 minutes of the day.

The second question posed "Why I should win this contest?" is easier for me to answer.  I have three very qualified reasons:

1.  I'm a male trapped in a female's body.  I have the body o####ymnast and the attitude of a hockey player.  I will hit anything that moves.  Hard.

2.  I have challenged my brother-in-law twice to a head-to-head battle of Madden 2006.  He owns the game, I don't.  I've beaten him both times.  He hasn't talked to me in two months because of it.

3.  I've just written about who I think has the hottest spouse.  That should say enough about me right there.