Speaking of Halloween, did anyone read the tasty tidbit that Jon Kitna dressed like the coach who drove though the drive-thru naked? His wife dressed like the fast food restaurant.
Speaking of Jon Kitna, did anyone read about his friend who went as Jon Kitna to a Halloween party? My question is, how did they know it was Jon Kitna and not Bull from Night Court?
Speaking of Night Court, Markie Post was hot. Whatever happened to her?
Speaking of post, can anyone stop Randy Moss when he runs one?
Speaking of one, there will be only one undefeated team left by the end of the day.
Speaking of undefeated teams, Don Shula, the head coach of the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins, basically called Nick Saban a liar. And he also said his pants were on fire.
Speaking of liars, Michael Vick is a liar. Bill Belichick is just a cheater.
Speaking of cheaters, did Tom Brady cheat on one supermodel while with another? The poor ####.
Speaking of poor ####s, how about them New York Jets. Mangenius is quickly becoming Mangina. Bunch of ####.
Speaking of ####, I will be hiding from all the Jets fans who will be out gunning for me for the comment above. If I do go outside I will be wearing a mask.
What the hell are you thinking? And I mean that with all due respect.
Since you’ve been in office you have initiated what is deemed by many to be off-the-wall penalties for players with minor indiscretions. We all were young once. Surely you remember the impetuousness of youth. So what if a player gets arrested 10 times for DUI, illegal weapons and underage drinking? Is that any reason to suspend him from his job for a year? I know I wouldn’t be able to afford to not work for a year. How are these youths going to feed their families? Harsh, Mr. Goodell. Very harsh.
You’ve also facilitated a summit for, of all things, concussions. Come on, Roger. Is this really necessary? I mean, a bunch of owners and players sitting around a table butting heads. There is enough of that during actual games. This is a waste of time. And energy.
Now your latest show of authority displays your berating of Clinton Portis’ statements about Michael Vick’s alleged dogfights. Will you just get off his back? You never liked him. You are just using this as a vehicle for profiling certain players. This is not the Spanish inquisition; this is a free country. Mr. Portis is exercising his right to free speech. For you to take that right away is totally and emphatically UN-AMERICAN.
And speaking of being UN-AMERICAN, why do you insist to deprive AMERICAN fans of seeing their home team by scheduling a game in a foreign land? There are a finite number of games that home team fans can physically attend.. Eight, to be precise. Now you want to take one away? Oh, if only the McCarthy hearings were still going on, I would suggest your name be at the top of the list.
I could go on and on countering your every move since you became sheriff. But Ricky just came back in and told me he fixed the bong, so we’re going to sit around and meditate on the meaning of life. After that we’ll get some chips and Twinkies and watch reruns of last season’s Toronto Argonauts games.
Larry Star gained international celebrity as the infamous eBay “Wedding Dress Guy.” It was Larry’s caustic wit that catapulted him into the limelight with what Time.com called the “funniest eBay ad ever!” That same irreverent humor can be found in his first book, Bitter, Party of One... Your Table Is Ready: Relationship Advice From A Guy Who Has No Business Giving It. (Bitterbooks. com) He’s had numerous appearances on NBC’s Today and MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Obermann and has also been the feature of many magazine and newspaper articles across the country. Touted as a modern day renaissance man, this humorist, and self-proclaim ed “sarcasmist,” is also a noted songwriter, musician, and poet. His music has been heard on the airwaves in New York and Seattle. He also penned the theme song to one of the most popular talkradio shows in New York City back in the mid-nineties, WABC’s Lionel in the Morning. His other current projects include co-authoring an advice book with Dr. Manuel Gomes, writing a cookbook, performing with his band, and completing a sequel to Bitter, Party of One.... He resides in the Seattle area, as far away from his exes as possible.
